Vago Damitio - Rough Living

Here’s an important rule of thumb for camping; pack it out! Leave nothing to show you were there. Even if it means cleaning up after the jerk who was there before you.

I should add that sometimes the areas that look least desirable for a camp are the best..in the northwest blackberry brambles can be worth the work to clear a tunnel to the center of one and then clear out a room. the tunnel can be a pain to cut out, but if you do it right it’s easy to cover it up with some sort of foliage.

I’m also a big fan of tree houses. it’s not too difficult to build a simple platform in a tree and tarp over it. if you do it right you can make it invisible from the ground.

Houseless Hygiene

Proper cleanliness is the single biggest way to safeguard your health, bar none. Be a cleanliness nut. Keep your clothes clean, keep yourself clean, and show others think you are clean by grooming. Be sure to keep your hair trimmed and your beard shaved or neat. Keep a small pair of sharp scissors to trim your beard if you can’t shave and just learn to trim it by feel and going over your whole face. Don’t let it get more than 1/4 inch long if your camping out because you’ll look too scruffy otherwise.

Don’t ever let yourself stink. You’ll find potential friends will run from you fast if you’re not clean. Unless you really dislike the company and cooperation of others, be a nut about cleanliness because it will be hard to stay clean living in a camp. Being a cleanliness nut will help a lot. Last, remember the left hand rule-never touch anything dirty with your right hand--always the left. And never touch anything clean like your face, food, or a friend with your left--always your right. This will keep you healthier than you can imagine. It’s not just about bum washing (get it? Haha!).

Keeping yourself clean and well groomed keeps your self esteem higher and makes meeting people easier. Nobody wants to invite a stinky bum to dinner. Use a bucket and a sponge if you have to. Wash in a stream, lake, or under a faucet. Public restrooms are a good place to shave and wash if you have a small kit with a sponge, soap, and a razor. Take care of yourself!

Shelters and Missions

I don’t like homeless shelters or missions. I’ve visited them, but never bothered staying. I’ve talked with enough people to know that it’s not for me. There is an underlying edge of violence and theft that seems to pervade such places. I’m not interested in hearing about God in exchange for a bed. In visiting, I’ve found that shelters seem to be places devoid of hope. There are many options that are much more appealing.

If you need to stay in a shelter or mission there are a few things you need to know. First, you should find a way to safeguard your important things. If you are packing heavy with things you don’t want to lose, find a place to stash them. Most shelters are filled with unsavory types that will go through your bag. “Sure,” you might think, “but why would they want to steal from me, I’m poor too!” Exactly. It’s easier to prey on the poor than on the rich. If you have money, important papers, or credit cards, keep them on your person at all times or ask the person running the shelter if there is a secure place to put them. As for the rest of your gear, keep an eye on it.

I don’t mean to sound completely negative about shelters and missions. I’ve met good people that stayed in them because they needed to. It’s a valuable service. You can make friends with this kind of people once you are there. There truly is safety in numbers.

If you are not a person of a religious nature or if you don’t like having religion crammed down your throat, this might be a difficult place for you to stay. Most of the missions and shelters are religiously based and they love to shove that religion down people’s throats.

Couch Surfing

Ben Franklin said, "House guests are like fish, they start smelling in three days." My friends are usually more tolerant but the key to staying at other people’s pads is to remember they are working to pay for their space. As a couch surfer you need to make sure you give your hosts their space. Some definite no-no’s are hogging the TV, not cleaning up after yourself, and occupying space without giving anything in return.

Doing light chores will usually win the gratitude of your hosts. Things like washing dirty dishes, vacuuming the floor, and cleaning the bathroom don’t take long but make you look good. Personally, I like to cook meals for my hosts. I’m a good cook with a knack for taking whatever is available and making it into something tasty. If you don’t have the same gift you can never go wrong cooking eggs and toast in the morning. Breakfast is cheap and most people enjoy having it served to them in the comfort of their home. Some of my favorite cheapskate gourmet recipes are included in the index of this book.

The hardest part of couch surfing is dealing with the people that live there. Don’t get me wrong. I am appreciative of what they are doing and offering, but where people exist, problems exist. People want and are willing to help you, and that’s nice. However, they can start to resent you taking up their space in a very short time. They don’t want to be bad people and tell you to move on, they know you don’t have anywhere else to go. That’s when the passive-aggressive behavior begins.

When passive aggressive behavior starts is when I would rather live in a doorway.

(Note: When I wrote this back in 2001, there was no such thing as couchsurfing.com In 2004, Casey Fenton, the founder of Couchsurfing.com contacted me to see if I would pro have a stranger sleep in their home. I was wrong. Couchsurfing now has millions of members and is a great travel service — I met my wife through couchsurfing.com — but you’ll have to read Smooth Living: Beyond the Life of a Vagabond to find out about that! I also go into the how-tos of couchsurfing.com in that book.)

Urban Camping and Squatting

In a pinch you can do what I like to call urban camping. There are different variations depending on your circumstances. In a city like Portland, Oregon there are a lot of couches on a lot of covered porches. If you arrive late enough and leave early enough, these hospitable sites can be the perfect place to crash out. Once I was caught in a small Colorado town during a snowstorm and managed to stay warm by crawling under a 4x4 which pulled into a driveway at about 10 PM. The heat from the engine lasted long enough to get me through the worst of the storm.

Urban camping can also be more traditional. I once camped on a park bench in Regent’s Park across from Buckingham Palace in London, England for three nights in a row. As I lay there wrapped in my blanket, I had a recurring fantasy where the Queen was going to invite me to morning tea. She didn’t. On that same trip to England, I set up a tent in some bushes in Epping Forest for a week. No one discovered me — except a few dogs who came galloping in to see what was in the bushes and left in terror when they found me cooking sausages and beans.

The key to being successful in this kind of urban camping is to find a spot invisible from roads or paths, with an inconspicuous entrance and/or exit, and to be discreet in how you behave there. For example, fires are probably not a good idea in most cities but Sterno works fine if you need to cook something.

Squatting is a very different situation. In most American places they can bust you for breaking and entering if you take up residence in an abandoned building. In parts of Europe, the laws are different. Know the law before you squat. While hitching in the Southwest, I used to scout out houses for sale as I walked an hour or so before sunset. If you can find one you are pretty sure is not occupied it’s usually pretty easy to return after dark and jimmy open a back door or window. Older, run down houses usually don’t have security. If breaking in to the house is too risky, you can usually find a porch, shed, or garage to get you out of sight and the elements. I’m not advocating you break the law, but if you are in need of shelter, this is one option.