Florian Huber - Promise Me You'll Shoot Yourself - The Mass Suicide of Ordinary Germans in 1945

p. 44 ‘ Ilse was…it’s not possible!” ’ Ibid., p. 32.

p. 44 ‘ We cowered there…bundle of fear .’ Norbert Buske, ‘Das Geschehen’, in: ibid., p. 16.

p. 47 ‘ It was a cold…burning town .’ Marie Dabs, Lebenserinnerungen , p. 83.

p. 48 ‘ Peering apprehensively…Fire! ’ Ursula Strohschein, ‘Rote Armee in Demmin’, p. 16.

p. 49 ‘ Day and night…clouds of smoke .’ Ibid.

p. 50 ‘ Our beautiful tall…to be seen .’ Marie Dabs, Lebenserinnerungen , p. 86.

p. 50 ‘ We must all get out of here .’ Karl Schlösser, conversation with the author.

p. 51 ‘ We’re going…your father! ’ Karl Schlösser, in: ‘Tief vergraben, nicht dran rühren’, Spiegel Spezial , 30.3.2005.

p. 51–52 ‘ I am afraid…awful truth .’ Else R., ‘Brief’, in: Norbert Buske, Das Kriegsende in Demmin 1945 , p. 31.

p. 52 ‘ For you, Else .’ Ibid., p. 32.

p. 52 ‘ I was all confused…hand in hand .’ Ibid., p. 33.

p. 53 ‘ “This is the last…own blood.” ’ Marie Dabs, Lebenserinnerungen , p. 84.

p. 53 ‘ I asked them…on their way .’ Ibid.

p. 54 ‘ When my father…the Trebel .’ Ibid., p. 85.

p. 57 ‘ My mother…like an avalanche .’ Lotte-Lore Martens, ‘Erinnerungen zum Kriegsende in Demmin’, in: Norbert Buske, Das Kriegsende in Demmin 1945 , p. 26.

p. 57–58 ‘ With the smoke…in the water .’ Ibid., p. 28.

p. 58 ‘ Some women…I wonder? ’ Ibid.

p. 62 ‘ Nobody knew…every night .’ Irene Bröker, So war’s! , p. 70.

p. 62 ‘ Dr P. told us…washing ashore .’ Ibid.

p. 63 ‘ No one will ever…of darkness .’ Ibid., p. 71.

p. 63 ‘ At last…after that .’ Ibid.

p. 64 ‘ He pulled…at it bravely .’ Ibid., p. 73.

p. 64 ‘ When the woman…held me back .’ Ibid.

p. 64 ‘ All this sounds…will understand .’ Ibid.

p. 66 ‘ The deserted dental practice…the horror .’ Ursula Strohschein, ‘Rote Armee in Demmin’, p. 16.

p. 66 ‘ A heavy blanket…dead bodies .’ Karl Schlösser, conversation with the author.

p. 67 ‘ The sight of the riverbank…worthless .’ Lotte-Lore Martens, ‘Erinnerungen’, in: Norbert Buske, Das Kriegsende in Demmin 1945 , p. 29.

p. 69 ‘ Another thing…at a later date .’ Else R., ‘Brief’, in: ibid., p. 35.

p. 69 ‘ veterinary surgeon ’. Wareneingangsbuch der Demminer Friedhofsgärtnerei 1945.

p. 71 ‘ Death by suicide (hanging) ’ etc. Sterbebücher des Standesamtes Demmin 1945, vol. 1 (1–300), vol. 2 (301–700), vol. 3 (701–1100).

p. 76 ‘ The parish hall was bursting .’ Jakob Kronika, Der Untergang Berlins , Flensburg, 1946, p. 40.

p. 76 ‘ Something of a sense…way they sing .’ Ibid., p. 51.

p. 76 ‘ We have no right…strange service .’ Ibid., p. 40.

p. 77 ‘ There is risk…no way out .’ Ibid., p. 41.

p. 77 ‘ I can’t carry on…madness and crime .’ Ibid., p. 18.

p. 78 ‘ But the tyranny…rule of evil .’ Ibid., p. 19.

p. 78 ‘ war’s rebellion against peace ’. Ibid., p. 9.

p. 79 ‘ Wilhelm II…yesterday .’ Ibid., p. 40.

p. 79 ‘ Goebbels has changed…last resort .’ Ibid., p. 39.

p. 79 ‘ The brunt of responsibility…Dr Goebbels .’ Ibid., p. 41.

p. 80 ‘ The thought of living on…hopelessness of victory .’ Christian Goeschel, Selbstmord im Dritten Reich , Berlin, 2011, p. 213.

p. 81–82 ‘ It was still hard…in public .’ Hans Graf von Lehndorff, Ostpreussisches Tagebuch. Aufzeichnungen eine Arztes aus den Jahren 1945–1947 , Munich, 2005, p. 9.

p. 82 ‘ They must all…“and our country?” ’ Ibid.

p. 82 ‘ The Führer…he’d sooner gas us .’ Ibid., p. 18.

p. 82 ‘ It doesn’t really matter…now .’ Ibid.

p. 83 ‘ They are not…say, food .’ Ibid., pp. 24–5.

p. 84 ‘ We return to Juditten…Lord’s Prayer .’ Ibid., p. 25.

p. 84 ‘ As we’re coming…“with gas.” ’ Ibid.

p. 85 ‘ to fight the risk of infection posed by suicide ’. Ibid., p. 62.

p. 85 ‘ A thorn is piercing…It is enough .’ Ibid., p. 75.

p. 85 ‘ There’s nothing more…nothing impossible .’ Ibid., p. 76.

p. 85 ‘ All feeling…dead inside? ’ Ibid., p. 153.

p. 86 ‘ Dead bodies…in the beds .’ ‘Erlebnisbericht aus L.S. aus Groß-Nappern’, in: Die Vertreibung der deutschen Bevölkerung aus den Gebieten östlich der Oder-Neiße , Munich, 2004, vol. 1, no. 7, p. 25.

p. 86 ‘ Shudder after shudder…all the family .’ Ibid., no. 8, p. 31.

p. 86 ‘ The most senior…last night .’ Ibid., no. 14, p. 59.

p. 86 ‘ In the course…in the tree .’ Ibid., no. 53, p. 208.

p. 86–87 ‘ When I said…that very day .’ Ibid., no. 59, p. 229.

p. 87 ‘ Mass graves…their own lives .’ Ibid., no. 61, p. 237.

p. 87 ‘ It’s hardly surprising…that terrible night .’ Ibid., no. 68, p. 266.

p. 87 ‘ In the forest…hanged themselves .’ Ibid., no. 72, p. 274.

p. 87 ‘ Several Germans…slitting their wrists .’ Ibid., no. 96, p. 360.

p. 87 ‘ Young Frau Lemke…his pistol .’ Ibid., no. 105, p. 399.

p. 87 ‘ In her despair…herself .’ Ibid., no. 116, p. 432.

p. 87 ‘ In the night…days later .’ Ibid., no. 122, p. 453.

p. 87 ‘ Countless suicides…indescribable .’ Ibid., no. 127, p. 468.

p. 87 ‘ My uncle…and ran away .’ Ibid., no. 129, pp. 475–6.

p. 87–88 ‘ The list of people…longer and longer .’ Ibid., vol. 2, no. 8, p. 29.

p. 88 ‘ On the evening…suicide .’ Ibid., no. 10, p. 35.

p. 89 ‘ The war is over. The guns are silent .’ Hildegard Theinert, ‘Der letzte Eintrag’, in: Hans Richard Schnittny, Erinnerungen , Deutsches Tagebucharchiv Emmendingen 1106, p. 12.

p. 90 ‘ The rumours…“become of us?” ’ Ibid.

p. 91 ‘ SS, field gendarmerie…upon us .’ Ibid.

p. 91 ‘ Johannes had…that evening .’ Ibid.

p. 91 ‘ Life would…did that .’ Ibid., p. 12–13.

p. 91 ‘ We would…together .’ Ibid., p. 12.

p. 92 ‘ Glittering…rippling waters .’ Ibid., p. 13.

p. 92 ‘ I have said…happiness .’ Ibid.

p. 92 ‘ How lovely…the fortress .’ Ibid.

p. 92 ‘ The Russians…more and more .’ Ibid.

p. 92 ‘ Only a little…forever .’ Ibid.

p. 93 ‘ Who will…any meaning? ’ Ibid.

p. 94 ‘ I have shot…household .’ Suicide note from Generalmajor a.D. Karl Bernhard Wilhelm von Brozowski, in: Ursula Baumann, Vom Recht auf den eigenen Tod. Die Geschichte des Suizids vom 18. bis zum 20. Jahrhundert , Weimar, 2001, p. 377.