Maggie Nelson: The Argonauts

What if where I am is what I need? — Deborah Hay

The freedom to be happy restricts human freedom if you are not free to be not happy . — Sara Ahmed

And I have long known that the moment of queer pride is a refusal to be shamed by witnessing the other as being ashamed of you . — Ahmed

Do castration and the Phallus tell us the deep Truths of Western culture or just the truth of how things are and might not always be? — Elizabeth Weed

In place of a hermeneutics we need an erotics of art . — Susan Sontag

If there’s one thing homonormativity reveals, it’s the troubling fact that you can be victimized and in no way be radical; it happens very often among homosexuals as with every other oppressed minority . — Leo Bersani

You’re the only one who knows when you’re using things to protect yourself and keep your ego together and when you’re opening and letting things fall apart, letting the world come as it is — working with it rather than struggling against it. You’re the only one who knows . — Pema Chödrön

Spirit is matter reduced to an extreme thinness: O so thin! — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sometimes mothers find it alarming to think that what they are doing is so important and in that case it is better not to tell them. It makes them self-conscious and then they do everything less well…. When a mother has a capacity quite simply to be a mother we must never interfere. She will not be able to fight for her rights because she will not understand . —D.W. Winnicott

In other words, the articulation of the reality of my sex is impossible in discourse, and for a structural, eidetic reason. My sex is removed, at least as the property of a subject, from the predicative mechanism that assures discursive coherence . — Luce Irigaray

What exactly is lost to us when words are wasted? — Anne Carson

I do not want the female gender that has been assigned to me at birth. Neither do I want the male gender that transsexual medicine can furnish and that the state will award me if I behave in the right way. I don’t want any of it . — Beatriz Preciado

A becoming in which one never becomes, a becoming whose rule is neither evolution nor asymptote but a certain turning, a certain turning inward, turning into my own / turning on in / to my own self / at last / turning out of the / white cage, turning out of the / lady cage / turning at last . — Lucille Clifton

It’s painful for me that I wrote a whole book calling into question identity politics, only then to be constituted as a token of lesbian identity. Either people didn’t really read the book, or the commodification of identity politics is so strong that whatever you write, even when it’s explicitly opposed to that politics, gets taken up by that machinery . — Butler

We ought to say a feeling of and, a feeling of if a feeling of but, and a feeling of by, quite as readily as we say a feeling of blue or a feeling of cold . — William James

And I said, do labia really start to hang? She said, yes, just like men’s balls, gravity makes the labia hang. I told her I never noticed that, I’d have to take a look . — Dodie Bellamy

I think we have — and can have — a right to be free . — Michel Foucault

The key is in the window, the key is in the sunlight at the window … the key is in the bars, in the sunlight in the window . — Naomi Ginsberg, to Allen

This reading treats Wolf Man’s memory of his parents’ encounter “a tergo” as a primal, coded fantasy of gay male sex, a scene of proto-homosexuality. — Lee Edelman (paraphrase)

People are different from each other . — Sedgwick

But while I can’t change, even if I tried , may be a true and moving anthem for some, it’s a piss-poor one for others. — Mary Lambert

Yet rather than fade away with the rise of queer parenthood of all stripes, the tired binary that places femininity, reproduction, and normativity on one side and masculinity, sexuality, and queer resistance on the other has lately reached a kind of apotheosis, often posing as a last, desperate stand against homo- and heteronormativity, both. — Fraiman

Fuck the social order and the Child in whose name we’re collectively terrorized; fuck Annie; fuck the waif from Les Mis; fuck the poor, innocent kid on the Net; fuck Laws both with capital ls and with small; fuck the whole network of Symbolic relations and the future that serves as its prop . — Edelman

[Single or lesbian motherhood] can be seen as [one] of the most violent forms taken by the rejection of the symbolic … as well as one of the most fervent divinizations of maternal power — all of which cannot help but trouble an entire legal and moral order without, however, proposing an alternative to it . — Julia Kristeva

The aim is not to answer questions, it’s to get out, to get out of it . — Deleuze/Parnet

But I worry that such expressions only underscore the “ongoing absence of a discourse of female anal eroticism … the flat fact that, since classical times, there has been no important and sustained Western discourse in which women’s anal eroticism means. Means anything.” —Sedgwick

Even identical genital acts mean very different things to different people . — Sedgwick

You know so much about people from they second they open their mouths. Right away you might know that you might want to keep them out . — Eileen Myles

What other reason is there for writing than to be traitor to one’s own reign, traitor to one’s own sex, to one’s class, to one’s majority? And to be traitor to writing . — Deleuze/Parnet

One only has to read interviews with outstanding women to hear them apologizing . — Monique Wittig

The self without sympathetic attachments is either a fiction or a lunatic … [Yet] dependence is scorned even in intimate relationships, as though dependence were incompatible with self-reliance rather than the only thing that makes it possible . — Adam Phillips/Barbara Taylor

Most people decide at some point that it is better … to be enthralled with what is impoverished or abusive than not to be enthralled at all and so to lose the condition of one’s being and becoming . — Butler

Rather than a philosopher or a pluralizer, I may be more of an empiricist, insofar as my aim is not to rediscover the eternal or the universal, but to find the conditions under which something new is produced (creativeness). — Deleuze/Parnet

Faced with the warp speed of this “new kind of hot, psychotropic, punk capitalism,” especially from my station of fatigue, exchanging horniness for exhaustion grows in allure. — Preciado

At least my student had unwittingly backed us into a crucial paradox, which helps to explain the work of any number of artists: it is sometimes the most paranoid-tending people who are able to, and need to, develop and disseminate the richest reparative practices . — Sedgwick

Italicized account of Harry’s mother’s death, which begins at a certain point i woke up . — Harry Dodge

The mother of an adult child sees her work completed and undone at the same time . — Eula Biss

Babies do not remember being held well — what they remember is the traumatic experience of not being held well enough . — Winnicott

But really there is no such thing as reproduction, only acts of production. — Andrew Solomon (paraphrase)

Flying anuses, speeding vaginas, there is no castration . — Deleuze/Guattari