Maria Genova - Communism, Sex and Lies

The school system flowed seamlessly into the social life that was expected of us. In the communist society, self-initiative was not appreciated. Of course, we all had our own opinions, but we pretended we didn’t. We could only be ourselves in our love lives. I only allowed myself to be guided by someone else once. As a result, I met my match. Dimitar was a real ‘ladies man’ and dumped girls with as much ease as I did with boys. I often saw him at school, walking arm-in-arm with the prettiest girls. Milena was his latest conquest and she was very proud of this fact, despite my vocal objections. When Dimitar dumped her after one month for someone else, she was inconsolable.

‘Someone has to make him experience what it feels like to walk around with a broken heart,’ I told her.

‘If you’re planning on trying that, watch out that you don’t fall in love with him, because Dimitar is a real charmer,’ Milena warned me. ‘And how do you know he’s attracted to you?’

‘I don’t. It’s possible I’m not his type, but I don’t think that most men are attracted to me by my appearance. Men are able to resist a beautiful woman, but never an intriguing one. This brings out their primeval hunting instinct. ‘

Milena listened attentively. Her lips betrayed the start of a smile.

I wasn’t sure what would be the subtlest way to show Dimitar that I found him attractive. Olga wasn’t known for her subtlety, but against better judgement I decided to ask for her advice.

‘You show up a few times in his vicinity, you walk sexily, smile and pretend you’re a friendly saleswoman,’ Olga advised.

‘A saleswoman? What am I supposed to sell him?’

‘The illusion that he has just bumped into the most perfect woman,’ Olga replied self-assured. ‘If you can do that convincingly, any man will fall for it. It doesn’t have to be true, because most men turn blind once they get led by their emotions. Don’t think about what you are selling, but what the men want to buy. The sooner you figure that out, the sooner they give in. One man might want a sweet woman, another an ambitious and intelligent chick and the third a sex kitten. As you as you think you know what their dream woman is, then they are willing to do anything to get you. I don’t know Dimitar, but if he is truly a lady killer, then he shouldn’t be that difficult to conquer. Flirting is a promise of intimacy. The art is to make him wonder if you’ll fulfil the promise right to the end. That makes you intriguing and attractive. If you show you are interested straight away, then the magic of the flirting will disappear,’

Getting Dimitar hooked, turned out to be easier than I had thought. Not long after our arranged acquaintance he suggested to go on a date at the weekend.

‘Fine, but I want to warn you that I play hard to get,’ I smiled with a smug expression. ’Besides, playboys are not my favourite type.’

He seemed surprised by this sarcastic remark. ‘Do you really think I am the playboy everyone makes me to be?’

‘Honestly, yes.’

‘And who do you want me to be? Let me guess: you’re looking for a knight in shining armour?’

‘I’m not going to try to change you. There are more boys waiting in line.’

I suddenly realized how coarse my words sounded, but Dimitar didn’t seem offended.

‘Okay, unbeliever, I will show you my true nature.’

‘Great, but I’m not available this weekend, because I am going with my parents to our villa in the mountains.’

‘Then we’ll meet there. My best friend has a hut there, somewhere high in the village.’

We agreed to meet on the village square at 11.00 the next morning. At 11.30 I felt I had kept him waiting long enough. I thought Dimitar would be angry, but he seemed to admire me.

‘This is the first time that I have waited so long for someone. Normally I would have been long gone by now, but for some reason I didn’t mind waiting for you.’

‘That’s sweet,’ I said, while I thought: ‘Great, 1-0 in my favour.’

After a walk in the mountains I was a little unsure about my victory. I found Dimitar more attractive than I had thought. He wasn’t an arrogant playboy. He just couldn’t resist all those girls who threw themselves in his lap.

‘I jump from girl to girl in the hope that someday I will meet my true love,’ Dimitar said apologetically.

‘And you never consider all those broken hearts you leave behind you?’

‘Oh, stop reprimanding me. One of my friends told me that you have the exact same reputation.’

‘When I turn someone down, I at least try to be as subtle as possible. The same can’t be said about you.’

‘Do you think I’m playing a game and trying to get as many girls as possible into bed only for me to dump them afterwards? I could be very happy with just one girl, only I haven’t met her yet. I was hoping that you would be that girl, but it seems you’re playing with me.’

I stared at him dumbfounded. Men usually don’t have such a strong intuition, but Dimitar had apparently learned a lot about girls. I suddenly found him dangerously attractive, so innocent and tempting at the same time. His blue eyes and long eyelashes were the prettiest I had ever seen. It was the first time I had played with such an experienced ladies’ man and just the thought that he might not want to be captured by just one woman, made him irresistible. The woods were prettier than ever that day, as if they wanted to show me that this was the best place for romance. The sun lit up the green curls of the oak trees and the pointy branches of the pines. The shadows of the branches danced on the ground on the multiple melodies of the birds. This was the moment to convince Dimitar that I was not playing games, that my interest in him was real.

I bowed my head towards him. Our lips touched gently. I asked myself what I was doing, but he didn’t give me any time to think. Our kisses became more passionate and I lost track of where one kiss ended and the other started. Funnily enough my mind was still clear enough to realise the score was now 1-1. I let myself be guided by my heart, by someone who was collecting hearts.

Where every man would try his luck in a similar situation, Dimitar proposed to go back. ‘Let’s meet up in my hut tonight. I have a surprise for you.’

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. He just broke off our warming up and left me with my body tingling. Was he made of steel or was this part of the game? I appreciated the interruption, because now I could get my thoughts in order. When I went to his place in the evening, I was once again determined to win the game.

I had put on the perfect dress to conquer a man. It emphasized my female curves and the décolleté was just deep enough to be sexy without looking cheap. The rustic house in the mountains smelled of chocolate. It was as if my senses had started to fantasize on their own, but suddenly I really saw a pan of melting chocolate on the stove.

Dimitar followed my questioning stare: ‘I made it for you.’

Before I knew what was happening, he kissed me, unbuttoned my blouse, pulled it over my head and turned the sleeves into a knot around my wrists. It happened so fast that I was taken by surprise. Dimitar tasted the chocolate to check that it was not too hot and spread it over my bare breasts. I didn’t understand why I did not protest. He whispered tender words in my ear, which built up the tension and ensured my body tingled in anticipation of what was to come. His words conjured up nice images, dreams which could not be equalled even through the most passionate merging of bodies. I fantasized about sheets which stuck out like ice bergs and melted to a pile of white dust through the warmth of our bodies.

I wanted to shout out in pleasure. How was I supposed to end this game, if his touch made me weak at the knees?