Ed Macy - Hellfire

‘No one in Now Zad’s going to be thinking about this. We need to—’

Pat interrupted my gripe over the loudspeaker.

‘Wildman Five Two. Sitrep as at twelve-twelve hours. Taliban contacts all over the place. Engaging to the south-west of the target area. Out.’

A quick glance at Jon and Billy and I could see they were as uncomfortable as I was that we were still in the Ops tent.

Jon could never remain motionless at the best of times, he just physically couldn’t. When he was standing, his hands were always tapping or altering the position of anything within reach. When he sat, he constantly lifted his heel and flexed his toes. Even when he was in his camp cot in complete darkness I could still hear him twitching in time with the music from his iPod. At least I hoped that’s what it was.

He was tap dancing like Gene Kelly right now, and checking the time every sixty seconds. I wasn’t much better. My watch was closer to my nose than it was to my wrist. If I bellyached, bleated, commented, complained, griped, grumbled, objected, protested, remarked, whined or whinged one more time, I would officially become the Grumpy Old Man of 656.

Over the Common Tactical Air Frequency (CTAF) we heard, ‘Wildman Five Two this is Saxon Ops. Send endurance. Over.’

I nearly gave him a round of applause. There was no reply to the boss’s request, but we knew how much gas 3 Flight had; we needed to move.

We were dying to get out and mix it up with the Taliban. And if we weren’t scrambled soon the boys on the ground would end up taking casualties.

Both Apaches were now involved in separate contacts. The place seemed to have gone berserk.

Billy had finally had enough. He went up to Dickie Bonn. ‘Look, we’ve got to mount up and we’ve got to have the spot and target maps. We need to walk now .’

I nodded. ‘It’ll take us ten minutes just to reach the aircraft and get in, and a minimum of thirty to start it up.’ On top of that, I told him, Now Zad was a twenty-minute flight away and it’d take us another ten minutes to RIP (Relief In Place) so the boys received seamless firepower from the Apaches.

‘Pat and his men should be breaking station at about 1330,’ Billy said. ‘That means we need to lift at 1300 latest.’

Dickie tried again but we were told to wait.

1230 hours

1 Platoon has managed to link up with A Company HQs and 2 Platoon. The target is now quiet and they set about searching the empty property.

The Gurkhas are holding the enemy firm but 3 Flight are called by Widow Seven Three to assist in 10 Platoon’s recovery to their vehicles and extraction. Protected by a shower of 30 mm rain, the Gurkhas return to the Now Zad DC.

Billy was beside himself with frustration. Jon looked close to exploding. Nick was thumbing through FHM and letting us know that we worried too much.

1258 hours

Major Black came running into our Ops tent. He went straight to the signaller. ‘I want to know 3 Flight’s endurance.’

He turned to us. ‘How long until you’re ready?’

He hadn’t once warned us to be ready. But he wanted us to go and he wanted us to go now.

We were the IRT and HRF crews on thirty minutes’ notice to move so he could have answered his own question.

Nick-until that moment preoccupied with the challenge of tautening his torso in twenty-eight days – gave a pretty convincing impression of a coiled spring. ‘We are ready; we just need spot maps and a detailed brief.’

Smart of him to step in before one of us exploded.

The OC’s reply made our jaws drop. ‘There aren’t any left.’

The red mist descended in front of my eyes. In the time we had spent waiting we could have had a couple of sets made up. We would be the only players on the battlefield not having a clue what anyone meant. We were going to look like a bunch of complete twats. Jon dragged me away a second before I went into meltdown.

As we ran out of the tent we heard the signaller shout, ‘Sir, they need to pull off at thirteen-thirty.’

We weren’t going to make that, and I hoped the Taliban weren’t listening because 3 Para were about thirty minutes away from having no Intimate Support.

We sprinted for our Land Rover.

‘Fuck the RIP,’ Jon shouted. ‘Let’s just get off the ground quick. We need to be in the air by 1310.’

1303 hours

My head whacked the roof of the Land Rover with one hell of a thump then I was thrust violently back onto my seat. The engine was revving so fiercely I could barely hear myself think. The door wouldn’t close properly and dust filled the cramped space. I was thrown to one side, and before I could protect myself I was lifted clear of the seat and my head hit a large nut on the underside of the roof bars. This time it really did hurt and I was seeing stars.

‘For fuck’s sake,’ I snapped at whoever was driving in the front with Nick, ‘I know we’re in a hurry, but I want to get there in one piece.’

The outside temperature was ludicrously high and it had turned our hard-topped Land Rover into a furnace.

To add insult to injury, Billy and Jon were laughing like drains.

I felt the lump on top of my head and wished my hair wasn’t shaved so close to the bone. A thick pelt of hair might not have cushioned the blow, but it would have soaked up some of the blood.

My eyes were watering and the dust swirling around the cabin clung gratefully to any available moisture. I must have looked like a clown.

A few seconds later, Jon was catapulted upwards and cracked his head on the bare steel.

‘What goes around comes around, Jonny boy.’

We all burst out laughing. The tension was immediately released; and boy, did it need to be.

There was no made-up road from the Ops tent to the helicopter LS; it was just a stretch of desert that now resembled a mogul field. Each time a heavy vehicle transited round the outside of the camp, it carved an ever-deepening track into the compacted sand. It made for one hell of a ride.

We’d debated the best way to cross this sea of ruts last night.

‘I’ve done shit loads of off-road driving,’ I boasted. ‘Jungles, deserts, savannah, bush, you name it. The best way across is to go max chat.’

Jon took a more methodical approach. ‘If you go really slowly the vehicle will last longer.’ He had a calmer variation on most themes. As an ex-tanky, he didn’t fancy fixing another vehicle in a hurry.

I disagreed. ‘A fast rattle and a few sharp bumps are kinder to the vehicle than huge changes of angle or bashes against the rocks – not to mention the risk of getting stuck.’

Jon’s min-speed theory was definitely not going to be tested on this occasion because 3 Para were being shot to bits by the Taliban and we needed to expedite.

Unfortunately, months of traffic had turned the fine sand to talcum powder and the breeze was coming from behind us at its usual 10–15 mph. We needed to drive faster than the wind to prevent being engulfed. Driving blind, unable to see the end of the bonnet when there was around 200 million pounds’ worth of helicopters strewn all over the HLS, was unthinkable. So was driving over two-foot-high speed bumps at 20 mph, but the choice was simple: hold on.

The Land Rover came to a sharp but spongy stop. We waited a couple of seconds for the dust to settle before running the final forty metres to the Apaches.

I took the first available opportunity to cough up a lungful of dust. The light wind blew some of the remaining powder from my body, but it was too hot to cool me down.

1308 hours

Taff, the Arming and Loading Point Commander, was ready and waiting. The ALPC was in charge of the Apache all the time it was on the ground, even when the aircrew were onboard. It was his responsibility to load and unload all its weapons and fuel, and to check that the aircraft was safe during starting and shutdown. The helicopter was under his safe and ever-watchful eye until he disconnected his intercom lead from the wing.