Джоэль Харрис - Nights With Uncle Remus

"Brer Rabbit, he bow'd his howdies ter Brer Wolf un shuck han's 'long wid 'im, des like nothin' ain't never happen 'twixt 'um, en he up'n say:—

"'Ah-law, Brer Wolf! Youer much mo' my fr'en' dan you ever 'speckted ter be, en you kin des count on me right straight 'long.'

"Brer Wolf say he feel sorter dat a-way hisse'f, en he ax Brer Rabbit w'at make 'im change his min' so quick.

"'Bless you, Brer Wolf, I had needs ter change it,' sez Brer Rabbit, sezee.

"Brer Wolf, he ax 'im how come.

"'All about bein' burnt up in a holler log, Brer Wolf, en w'en you gits time I wish you be so good ez ter bu'n me up some mo',' sez Brer Rabbit, sezee.

"Brer Wolf, he ax 'im how so. Brer Rabbit say:—

"'I'm fear'd ter tell you, Brer Wolf, 'kaze I don't want de news ter git out.'

"Brer Wolf vow he won't tell nobody on de top side er de worl'. Brer Rabbit say:—

"I done fin' out, Brer Wolf, dat w'en you git in a holler tree en somebody sets it a-fier, dat de nat'al honey des oozles out uv it, en mor'n dat, atter you git de honey all over you, 't ain't no use ter try ter burn you up, 'kaze de honey will puzzuv you. Don't 'ny me dis favor, Brer Wolf, 'kaze I done pick me out a n'er holler tree,' sez Brer Rabbit, sezee.

"Brer Wolf, he wanter put right out den en dar, en Brer Rabbit say dat des de kinder man w'at he bin huntin' fer. Dey took deyse'f off en 't wa'n't long 'fo' dey came ter de tree w'at Brer Rabbit say he done pick out. W'en dey git dar, Brer Wolf, he so greedy fer ter git a tas'e er de honey dat he beg en beg Brer Rabbit fer ter let 'im git in de holler. Brer Rabbit, he hol' back, but Brer Wolf beg so hard dat Brer Rabbit 'gree ter let 'im git in de holler.

"Brer Wolf, he got in, he did, en Brer Rabbit stuff de hole full er dry leaves en trash, en den he got 'im a chunk er fier en totch 'er off. She smoked en smoked, en den she bust out in a blaze. Brer Rabbit, he pile up rocks, en brush, en sticks, so Brer Wolf can't git out. Terreckly Brer Wolf holler:—

"'Gittin' mighty hot, Brer Rabbit! I ain't see no honey yit.'

"Brer Rabbit he pile on mo' trash, en holler back:—

"'Don't be in no hurry, Brer Wolf; you'll see it en tas'e it too.'

"Fier burn en burn, wood pop like pistol. Brer Wolf, he holler:

"'Gittin' hotter en hotter, Brer Rabbit. No honey come yit.'

"'Hol' still, Brer Wolf, hit'll come.'

"'Gimme a'r, Brer Rabbit; I'm a-chokin'.'

"'Fresh a'r make honey sour. Des hol' still, Brer Wolf!'

"' Ow! she gittin' hotter en hotter, Brer Rabbit!'

"'Des hol' right still, Brer Wolf; mos' time fer de honey!'

"' Ow! ow! I'm a-burnin', Brer Rabbit!'

"'Wait fer de honey, Brer Wolf.'

"'I can't stan' it, Brer Rabbit.'

"'Stan' it like I did, Brer Wolf.'

"Brer Rabbit he pile on de trash en de leaves. He say:—

"'I'll gin you honey, Brer Wolf; de same kinder honey you wanted ter gimme.'

"En it seem like ter me," said Aunt Tempy, pleased at the interest the little boy had shown, "dat it done Brer Wolf des right."

The little boy had heard Uncle Remus lamenting that his candle was getting rather short, and he made it his business to go around the house and gather all the pieces he could find. He carried these to the old man, who received them with the liveliest satisfaction.

"Now dish yer sorter look lak sump'n', honey. W'en ole Brer Jack come back, en Sis Tempy git in de habits er hangin' 'roun', we'll des light some er dese yer, en folks'll come by en see de shine, en dey'll go off en 'low dat hit's de night des 'fo' camp-meetin' at ole Remus house.

"I got little piece dar in my chist w'at you brung me long time ergo, en I 'low ter myse'f dat ef shove ever git ter be push, 66 66 A plantation saying. It means if hard times get harder. A briefer form is "w'en shove 'come push"—when the worst comes to the worst. I'd des draw 'er out en light 'er up."

"Mamma says Daddy Jack is coming back Sunday," said the little boy.

"Dat w'at I year talk," replied the old man.

"What did he go off for, Uncle Remus?"

"Bless yo' soul, honey! Brer Jack bleedz ter go en see yo' Unk Jeems. He b'leeve de worl' go wrong ef he ain't do dat. Dat ole nigger b'leeve he white mon. He come up yer fum down de country whar de Lord done fersook um too long 'go ter talk 'bout,—he come up yer en he put on mo' a'rs dan w'at I dast ter do. Not dat I'm keerin', 'kaze goodness knows I ain't, yit I notices dat w'en I has ter go some'rs, dey's allers a great ter-do 'bout w'at is I'm a-gwine fer, en how long is I'm a-gwine ter stay; en ef I ain't back at de ve'y minit, dars Mars John a-growlin', en Miss Sally a-vowin' dat she gwine ter put me on de block." 67 67 That is to say, put him on the block, and sell him.

Perhaps Uncle Remus's jealousy was more substantial than he was willing to admit; but he was talking merely to see what the little boy would say. The child, however, failed to appreciate the situation, seeing which the old man quickly changed the subject.

"Times is mighty diffunt fum w'at dey use ter wuz, 'kaze de time has bin dat ef ole Brer Rabbit had er run'd up wid Brer Jack w'iles he comin' fum yo' Unk Jeems place, he'd outdone 'im des ez sho' ez de worl' stan's. Deze days de Rabbits has ter keep out de way er folks, but in dem days folks had ter keep out der way er ole Brer Rabbit. Ain't I never tell you 'bout how Brer Rabbit whirl in en outdo Mr. Man?"

"About the meat tied to the string, Uncle Remus?"

" Shoo! Dat ain't a drap in de bucket, honey. Dish yer wuz de time w'en ole Brer Rabbit wuz gwine 'long de big road, en he meet Mr. Man drivin' 'long wid a waggin chock full er money."

"Where did he get so much money, Uncle Remus?"

"Bruisin' 'round en peddlin' 'bout. Mr. Man got w'at lots er folks ain't got,—good luck, long head, quick eye, en slick fingers. But no marter 'bout dat, he got de money; en w'en you sorter grow up so you kin knock 'roun', 't won't be long 'fo' some un'll take en take you off 'roun' de cornder en tell you dat 't ain't make no diffunce whar de money come fum so de man got it. Dey won't tell you dat in de meeting-house, but dey'll come mighty nigh it.

"But dat ain't needer yer ner dar. Mr. Man, he come a-drivin' 'long de big road, en he got a waggin full er money. Brer Rabbit, he come a-lippity-clippitin' 'long de big road, en he ain't got no waggin full er money. Ole Brer Rabbit, he up'n tuck a notion dat dey's sump'n' wrong some'rs, 'kaze ef dey wa'n't, he 'ud have des ez much waggin en money ez Mr. Man. He study, en study, en he can't make out how dat is. Bimeby he up'n holler out:—

"'Mr. Man, please, sir, lemme ride.'

"Mr. Man, he tuck'n stop he waggin, en 'low:—

"'Heyo, Brer Rabbit! how come dis? You comin' one way en I gwine nudder; how come you wanter ride?'

"Brer Rabbit, he up'n scratch hisse'f on de back er de neck wid he behime foot, en holler out:—

"'Mr. Man, yo' sho'ly can't be 'quainted 'long wid me. I'm one er dem ar ole-time kinder folks w'at ain't a-keerin' w'ich way deyer gwine long ez deyer ridin'.'"

The little boy laughed a sympathetic laugh, showing that he heartily endorsed this feature of Brother Rabbit's programme.

"Atter so long a time," Uncle Remus went on, "Mr. Man 'gree ter let Brer Rabbit ride a little piece. He try ter git Brer Rabbit fer ter ride upon de seat wid 'im so dey kin git ter 'sputin' 'n'er, but Brer Rabbit say he fear'd he fall off, en he des tuck'n sot right flat down in de bottom er de waggin, en make lak he fear'd ter move.

"Bimeby, w'iles dey goin' down hill, en Mr. Man hatter keep he eye on de hosses, Brer Rabbit he tuck'n fling out a great big hunk er de money. Dez ez de money hit de groun' Brer Rabbit holler out:—