Array The Brothers Grimm - Fairy Tales from the Brothers Grimm - A New English Version

He thought long and hard about it, and finally had an idea. He sent for the little tailor and said: ‘Field marshal, I have a task that only you can perform. A great hero like you won’t refuse, I’m sure. In one of my forests there’s a pair of giants who are running riot through all the countryside, robbing, murdering, plundering, burning houses, and I don’t know what else. No one dares go near them for fear of their life. Now if you can get rid of these giants, I’ll give you my daughter in marriage, and half the kingdom besides for a dowry. And you can have a hundred horsemen to back you up.’

‘That’s the sort of offer I’ve been waiting for,’ thought the little tailor. ‘Your majesty, I accept the task with pleasure!’ he said. ‘I know how to deal with giants. But I don’t need the horsemen. Anyone who has killed seven with one blow doesn’t need to be afraid of two.’

So he set off, and he let the hundred horsemen come too, just for the sake of display. When they came to the edge of the forest, he said to them, ‘You wait here. I’ll deal with the giants, and when it’s safe to come in, I’ll call you.’

The little tailor marched boldly into the forest, looking this way and that. He soon found the giants. They were both asleep under an oak tree, snoring so hard that they blew the branches up and down. The tailor didn’t waste a moment. He filled his pockets with stones, climbed the tree and clambered out on to a branch till he was directly above the giants.

Then he dropped one stone after another on to the chest of one of the sleepers. The giant didn’t feel anything at first, but at last he woke up and clouted his companion.

‘What d’you think you’re doing, throwing stones at me?’

‘I’m not throwing stones!’ said the other giant. ‘You’re dreaming.’

They fell asleep again, and the tailor started throwing stones at the second giant, who woke up and thumped the first one.

‘Oy! Stop doing that!’

‘I’m not doing anything! What are you talking about?’

They grumbled a bit, but they were tired after all their plundering and pillaging, and they soon fell asleep again. So the little tailor chose his largest stone, and took careful aim, and hit the first giant right on the nose.

He woke with a roar. ‘That’s too much!’ he shouted. ‘I’m not putting up with this a moment longer!’

And he shoved the other giant so hard against the tree that it shook. The little tailor clung on tight so as not to fall off, and then he watched as the two giants set about each other in earnest. They thumped and bashed and kicked and walloped, and finally they were so angry that they both pulled up trees and hit each other with them so hard that they both fell dead at the same moment.

The little tailor jumped down. ‘Good thing they didn’t pull this tree up,’ he thought. ‘I’d have had to skip out like a squirrel. But my family have always been light on their feet.’

He drew his sword and gave each giant a good few slices around the chest, and then he went back to the horsemen waiting outside.

‘It’s all done,’ he said. ‘I finished them both off. It was hot work for a minute or so, because they pulled up trees to try and defend themselves, but it didn’t do them any good. I can kill seven with one blow.’

‘You’re not hurt?’

‘No, not a scratch. Well, my jacket’s a bit torn — see that. Go and have a look at the giants’ bodies if you don’t believe me.’

The horsemen rode in, and found the two giants just as he’d said, lying in their own blood with uprooted trees all around them.

So the little tailor went back to the king, expecting the reward. But the king had had time to think about it, and he regretted promising his daughter to this man, who might be dangerous, after all.

‘Before I give you my daughter and half my kingdom,’ he said, ‘there’s another task that calls for a hero. In the woods there’s a frightful rhinoceros that’s causing all sorts of damage, and I want you to capture it.’

‘Nothing to it, your majesty,’ said the little tailor. ‘One rhinoceros is even less trouble than two giants.’

He took an axe and a coil of rope, and marched off to the woods, once again telling the regiment that had come with him to wait behind. It didn’t take him long to find the rhinoceros. It came charging towards him with its horn out in front as if it wanted to spear him through, but he just stood quite still until the beast was only a yard or so away, and then he skipped aside. Right behind him was a tree. The rhinoceros ran straight into it, and its horn stuck fast.

‘Well, my pretty little beast,’ said the tailor, ‘you’re caught now, aren’t you?’

He tied the rope around its neck and then chopped away at the tree with the axe until the horn came free again. The rhinoceros was quite docile by this time, and it let him lead it tamely out of the woods.

He took it into the palace and presented it to the king.

‘Ah,’ said the king. ‘Well. H’mm. There is just one more thing. Before you marry my daughter I’d like you to capture a wild boar that’s digging up a lot of orchards and farms and things. I’ll send the huntsmen along to help.’

‘Oh, I won’t need any huntsmen,’ said the little tailor, which pleased the huntsmen, because they’d come across the boar a good few times and had no wish to do so again. They came with him, however, for the sake of show, and stayed outside the woods playing dice until he was ready to lead them back again.

There was a little chapel in the woods. The tailor went there and waited till the boar came near, knowing it would catch his scent and charge. Soon the great beast came smashing its way through the undergrowth and charged right at him, foaming at the mouth and gnashing its razor-sharp tusks. As soon as he saw it, the tailor ran into the chapel, and of course the boar charged in after him.

But the tailor jumped out of the window and ran round to shut the door before the boar could work out where he’d gone. And there it was, caught. The huntsmen gave him a round of applause and blew their horns as they accompanied him back to the palace.

The hero went and told the king, who had to keep his promise at last, whether he wanted to or not. So the wedding was arranged with great splendour but little joy, and the tailor became a king.

A little while later the young queen heard her husband call out in the night: ‘Boy! Hurry up with that jacket, and patch the trousers, or I’ll clout you round the ears with a yardstick.’

Next morning she went to her father. ‘Daddy,’ she said, ‘I think my husband’s nothing but a common tailor,’ and she told him what she’d heard the tailor call out in his dream.

‘D’you know, I suspected something of the sort,’ said the king. ‘This is what we’ll do. Leave your bedroom door unlocked tonight, and my servants will wait outside. As soon as he falls asleep, you tiptoe out and tell them, and they’ll come in and tie him up and put him on a ship that’ll take him all the way to China.’

That sounded like a good plan to the young queen. However, the king’s little sword-bearer, who greatly admired the tailor, had heard everything, and he ran to tell the tailor the whole plot.

‘I’ll deal with that,’ said the tailor. ‘You leave it to me.’

That night he went to bed at the usual time, and when his wife thought he was asleep, she tiptoed to the door. But the tailor, who was only pretending to be asleep, called out in a loud voice: ‘Boy! Make that jacket, and hurry up and patch the trousers, or I’ll crack the yardstick around your ears! I’ve slaughtered seven with one blow, killed two giants, tamed a wild rhinoceros, and captured the wild boar, and I’m supposed to be afraid of a few quivering servants standing outside the bedroom!’