Array The Brothers Grimm - Fairy Tales from the Brothers Grimm - A New English Version

‘Let’s see you do that, if you have the strength!’ he said.

‘Is that all?’ said the little tailor. ‘Nothing to it. Watch this.’

And he took the cream cheese out of his pocket and squeezed that. Of course the cheese was full of whey, and it was soon dripping down all over the tailor’s hand and on to the ground.

‘That was better than your effort,’ he said.

The giant scratched his head. ‘Well,’ he said. ‘Umm. All right then. Try this.’

He picked up another stone and threw it as high as he could. The stone went so high that it almost disappeared.

‘Not bad,’ said the little tailor, ‘but look, here it comes down again. I can do better than that.’

He took the bird out of his pocket and threw it up into the air, and as soon as the bird felt its freedom, it flew upwards and vanished.

‘When I throw something into the air, it never comes down,’ he said. ‘What d’you think of that, my extra-large friend?’

‘Umm,’ said the giant. ‘Well, you can squeeze and you can throw. But here comes the real test: let’s see what you can carry.’

He led the little tailor to the edge of the forest, where a great oak tree had just been cut down.

‘Help me carry this,’ the giant said.

‘With pleasure. You take the trunk and I’ll carry the leaves and the twigs, which are heavier anyway, as everyone knows.’

The giant bent down and held his breath and then hoisted the trunk on to his shoulder. Seeing that the giant couldn’t look behind, the little tailor jumped up and sat himself comfortably among the leaves, whistling ‘Three Tailors Bold Rode Out One Day’, while the giant staggered along the path carrying the whole weight of the tree on his shoulder.

The giant couldn’t go very far, because it was a huge tree, and pretty soon he came to a stop.

‘Hey, listen! I can’t go any further,’ he called out, and the tailor jumped down quickly before he could turn round, and took hold of a bunch of leaves and twigs with both arms, as if he’d just been carrying them.

‘A big fellow like you,’ he said, ‘and you can’t even manage half a tree? Dear oh dear, you need some exercise.’

They walked on a little way until they came to a cherry tree. The giant took hold of the topmost branches and pulled them down low, showing the tailor the ripest fruit.

‘Just hold on to this for a moment while I take a stone out of my shoe,’ he said, and the tailor took hold of the branch. When the giant let go, the branch shot back up, and the tailor, not being heavy enough to hold it down, was whisked up into the air.

But he was agile, and he was lucky enough to fall on a grassy bank where he could tumble down without hurting himself. He even managed to turn a neat somersault and end up on his feet.

‘Not strong enough to hold it down!’ said the giant. ‘Ha!’

‘Not at all,’ said the tailor. ‘A man who’s killed seven with one blow can hold any number of trees down. The fact is that those hunters over there were about to shoot into the thicket, and I thought I’d better get out of the way. I bet you can’t jump as high as I did. Have a try, go on.’

The giant took a run-up and tried, but he had a lot of weight to get off the ground, and he crashed into the top of the cherry tree and ended up tangled in the branches. So the little tailor won that contest too.

‘Well,’ said the giant, when he had clambered down to the ground again, ‘if you think you’re such a hero, come and spend the night in our cave. I live with a couple of other giants, and we’re not easily impressed, I can tell you.’

The tailor agreed with pleasure, and they set off for the cave. It was dark when they got there, and the two other giants were sitting next to a blazing fire. Each of them had a whole roast sheep in his hands, and was gnawing at it vigorously, with horrible grinding sucking noises.

The little tailor looked around. ‘It’s a lot bigger than my workshop,’ he said. ‘Where am I going to sleep?’

His giant showed him a gigantic bed. The tailor climbed up and lay down, but he couldn’t get comfortable, so while the giants were mumbling together by the fire he climbed down and tucked himself up in a corner of the cave.

At midnight the first giant, thinking that the little tailor was asleep, took a massive club and with one blow smashed the bed in half.

‘That’ll squash that grasshopper,’ he thought.

Early next morning the giants woke up and lumbered off into the woods. They’d completely forgotten about the little tailor. But he’d woken up bright and cheerful, and he came skipping after them, whistling and singing, and when they saw him they were struck with terror.

‘He’s alive!’

‘Help!’

‘Run for your life!’

And off they ran.

‘Well, so much for giants,’ said the tailor to himself. ‘Let’s go and look for another adventure.’

Following his nose, he wandered here and there for several days, until he came to a splendid palace. Flags were flying, soldiers were changing guard, and the tailor sat down on a grassy bank to admire it all. Feeling sleepy, he lay down and closed his eyes, and in a moment he was fast asleep.

While he slept, several passers-by caught sight of his crimson sash with the gold letters saying: ‘SEVEN WITH ONE BLOW!’ And they started talking:

‘He must be a great hero!’

‘But what’s he doing here?’

‘This is a time of peace, after all.’

‘I’m sure he’s a duke or something. Look at the nobility in his face.’

‘No, I reckon he’s a man of the people, but he’s certainly seen combat. You can see his proud military bearing, even in his sleep.’

‘ Seven with one blow — imagine!’

‘We’d better tell the king.’

‘That’s a good idea. Let’s go right away!’

A group of them immediately sought an audience with the king, who listened with close attention. If the worst should happen and war were to break out, they said, at all costs they should try and obtain the services of this hero.

‘You’re absolutely right,’ said the king, and called for the chief of the defence staff. ‘Go and wait till that gentleman wakes up,’ the king told him, ‘and offer him the post of field marshal. We can’t afford to let any other kingdom get his services.’

The chief of the defence staff went and waited by the little tailor until he woke up.

‘His majesty would like to offer you the post of field marshal,’ he said, ‘with immediate command over the whole army.’

‘That’s exactly why I’m here!’ said the little tailor. ‘I’m ready and willing to enter the service of the king, and all my valour is at his disposal.’

A guard of honour was formed, and the little tailor was received with great ceremonial, and given his own apartment in the palace. He was also allowed to design his own uniform.

However, the soldiers he was going to command were very doubtful about the whole thing.

‘Suppose he takes a dislike to us?’

‘Or suppose he gives us commands we don’t like, and we try and argue with him?’

‘Yes! He can kill seven of us with one blow. We’re just ordinary soldiers. We can’t fight against someone like that.’

They talked about it in the barracks, and sent a delegation to the king.

‘Your majesty, we ask to be released from your service! We can’t stand up to a man who can kill seven of us with one blow. He’s a weapon of mass destruction!’

‘Let me think about it,’ said the king.

He was dismayed by the situation. To lose all his faithful soldiers just because of one man! But if he tried to get rid of the little tailor, who knew what would happen? The tailor might kill him and all the army, and then set himself up on the throne.