Eoin Colfer: Artemis Fowl

Artemis imagined that somewhere the 1812 Overture was playing. The gold sat there, stacked in shining rows. It seemed to have an aura, a warmth, but also an inherent danger. There were a lot of people

willing to die or kill for the unimaginable wealth this gold could bring. Holly was mesmerized. Fairies have an affinity for minerals, they are of the earth. But gold was their favourite. Its lustre. Its allure.

'They paid,' she breathed. 'I can't believe it.'

'Neither can I,' murmured Artemis. 'Butler, is it real?'

Butler hefted a bar from the stack. He dug the tip of a throwing knife into the ingot, gouging out a small sliver.

'It's real all right,' he said, holding the scraping up to the light.

'This one, at any rate.'

'Good. Very good. Begin unloading it, would you? We'll send the trolley back out with Captain Short.'

Hearing her name dispelled Holly's gold fever.

'Artemis, give it up. No human has ever succeeded in keeping fairy gold. And they've been trying for centuries. The LEP will do anything to protect their property.'

Artemis shook his head. Amused.

'I've told you…'

Holly took him by the shoulders. 'You cannot escape! Don't you understand?'

The boy returned her gaze coolly.

'I can escape, Holly. Look in my eyes and tell me that I can't.'

So she did. Captain Holly Short gazed into her captor's blue-black eyes and she saw the truth in there. And for a moment she believed it.

'There's still time,' she said desperately. 'There must be something. I have magic.'

A crease of annoyance wrinkled the boy's brow.

'I hate to disappoint you, Captain, but there is absolutely nothing.'

Artemis paused, his gaze tugged momentarily upstairs to the converted loft. Perhaps, he thought. Do I really need all this gold? And was his conscience not pricking him, leeching the sweetness from his victory? He shook himself. Stick to the plan. Stick to the plan. No emotion.

Artemis felt a familiar hand on his shoulder.

'Everything all right?'

'Yes, Butler. Keep unloading. Get Juliet to help. I need to talk to Captain Short.'

'Are you sure there's nothing wrong?'

Artemis sighed. 'No, old friend, I'm not sure. But it's too late now.'

Butler nodded, returning to his task. Juliet toddled along behind him like a terrier.

'Now, Captain. About your magic.'

'What about it?' Holly's eyes were hooded with suspicion.

'What would I have to do to buy a wish?'

Holly glanced at the trolley. 'Well, that depends. What do you have to bargain with?'

Root was not what you'd call relaxed. Increasingly wide bands of yellow light were poking through the blue. Minutes left. Minutes. His migraine was not helped by the pungent cigar feeding toxins into his system.

'Have all non-essential personnel been evacuated?'

'Unless they've sneaked back in since the last time you asked me.'

'Not now, Foaly. Believe me, now is not the time. Anything from Captain Short?'

'Nope. We lost video after the troll thing. I'd guess the battery is ruptured. We'd better get that helmet off her ASAP, or the radiation will fry her brain. That'd be a pity after all this work.'

Foaly returned to his console. A red light began pulsing gently.

'Wait, motion sensor. We've got activity by the main entrance.'

Root crossed to the screens.

'Can you enhance it?'

'No problem.' Foaly punched in the coordinates, blowing it up 400 per cent.

Root sat down on the nearest chair.

'Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?'

'You sure are.' Foaly chuckled. 'This is even better than the suit of armour.'

Holly was coming out. With the gold.

Retrieval were on her in half a second.

'Let's get you out of the danger zone, Captain,' urged a sprite, catching Holly by the elbow.

Another ran a rad-sensor over her helmet.

'We've got a power source breach here, Captain. We need to get your head sprayed immediately.'

Holly opened her mouth to protest, and had it instantly filled with rad-suppressant foam.

'Can't this wait?' she spluttered.

'Sorry, Captain. Time is of the essence. The commander wants a debriefing before we detonate.'

Holly was rushed towards the Mobile Ops unit, her feet barely touching the ground. All around her Retrieval Cleaners scanned the grounds for any trace of the siege. Techies dismantled the field dishes, making ready to pull the plug. Grunts steered the trolley towards the portal. It was imperative that everything be relocated to a safe distance before the bio-bomb went in. Root was waiting on the steps.

'Holly,' he blurted. 'I mean Captain. You made it.'

'Yessir. Thank you, sir.'

'And the gold too. This is a real feather in your cap.'

'Well, not all, Commander. About half I think.'

Root nodded. 'No matter. We'll have the rest soon enough.'

Holly wiped rad-foam from her brow.

'I've been thinking about that, sir. Fowl made another mistake.

He never ordered me not to re-enter the house, and seeing as he brought me in there in the first place, the invitation still stands. I could go in and mind-wipe the occupants. We could hide the gold in the walls and do another time-stop tomorrow night…'

'No, Captain.'

'But, sir…'

Root's features regained whatever tension they'd lost.

'No, Captain. The Council is not about to hold off for some kidnapping Mud Man. It's just not going to happen. I have my orders, and believe me they're written in stone.'

Holly trailed Root into the mobile.

'But the girl, sir. She's an innocent!'

'Casualty of war. She threw her lot in with the wrong side.

Nothing can be done for her now.'

Holly was incredulous. 'A casualty of war? How can you say that?

A life is a life.'

Root spun sharply, grasping her by the shoulders.

'You did what you could, Holly,' he said. 'No one could have done more. You even retrieved most of the ransom. You're suffering from what humans call Stockholm Syndrome: you have bonded with your captors. Don't worry, it will pass. But those people in there, they know. About us. Nothing can save them now.'

Foaly looked up from his calculations.

'Not true. Technically. Welcome back, by the way.'

Holly couldn't spare even a second to return the greeting.

'What do you mean not true?'

'I'm fine, seeing as you asked.'

'Foaly!' shouted Root and Holly in unison.

'Well, like the Book says, "If the Mud Man gold can gather, In spite of magick or fairy glamour, Then that gold is his to keep, Until he lies in eternal sleep." So if he lives, he wins. It's that simple. Not even the Council will go against the Book.'

Root scratched his chin. 'Should I be worried?'

Foaly laughed mirthlessly. 'No. Those guys are as good as dead.'

'As good as isn't good enough.'

'Is that an order?'

'Affirmative, soldier.'

'I'm not a soldier,' said Foaly, and pressed the button.

Butler was more than a little surprised.

'You gave it back?'

Artemis nodded.

'About half. We still have quite a nest egg. About fifteen million dollars at today's market prices.'

Butler usually wouldn't ask. But this time he had to.

'Why, Artemis? Can you tell me?'

'I suppose so.' The boy smiled. 'I felt we owed the captain something. For services rendered.'

'Is that all?'

Artemis nodded. No need to talk about the wish. It could be perceived as weakness.

'Hmm,' said Butler, smarter than he looked.

'Now, we should celebrate,' enthused Artemis, deftly changing the subject. 'Some champagne, I think.'

The boy strode to the kitchen before Butler's gaze could dissect him.

By the time the others caught up, Artemis had already filled three glasses with Dom Perignon.

'I'm a minor, I know, but I'm sure Mother wouldn't mind. Just this once.'