Eoin Colfer - Artemis Fowl. The Opal Deception

‘Hmm,’ said Opal. ‘Surprising.’

‘Maybe they ran out of ammunition,’ offered Merv, though he knew that Opal would punish him for offering an opinion.

‘Is that what you think, Mervall? They ran out of explosives and so they decided just to let us go. Do you really imagine that to be true, you imbecilic excuse for a sentient being? Don’t you have any frontal lobes?’

‘I was just playing devil’s advocate,’ mumbled Merv weakly.

Opal rose from her seat, waving a hand at each Brill brother. ‘Just shut up. I need to talk to myself for a minute.’ She paced the narrow cockpit. ‘What’s going on here?

They track us to the chute, then put on a big fireworks display, then leave. Just like that.

Why? Why?’ She rubbed both temples with her knuckles. ‘Think.’ Suddenly Opal remembered something. ‘Last night. A shuttle was stolen in E1. We heard about it on the police band. Who stole it?’

Scant shrugged. ‘I dunno. Some dwarf. Is it important?’

‘That’s right. A dwarf. And wasn’t there a dwarf involved in the Artemis Fowl siege? And weren’t there rumours of that same dwarf helping Julius to break into Koboi labs?’

‘Rumours. No actual evidence.’

Opal turned on Scant. ‘Maybe that’s because, unlike you, this dwarf is smart.

Maybe he doesn’t want to be caught.’ The pixie took a moment to join the dots. ‘So they have a dwarf burglar, a shuttle and explosives. Short must know that those pathetic grenades can’t penetrate our hull, so why drop them? Unless…’

The truth hit her like a physical blow in the stomach.

‘Oh no,’ she gasped. ‘Distraction. We sat here like fools, watching the pretty lights. And all the time…’

She heaved Scant aside and rushed past him to the lounge.

‘The charges,’ she shrieked. ‘Where are they?’

Scant went straight to the chair. ‘Don’t worry, Miss Koboi, they’re right —’ He stopped, the sentence’s final word stuck in his throat. ‘I, ah, they were right there. In the chair.’

Opal picked up the small hand-held radio. ‘They’re toying with me. Tell me you put the back-up somewhere safe.’

‘No,’ said Scant miserably. ‘They were together.’

Merv pushed past him into the cargo bay. ‘The engine compartment is open.’ He stuck his head through the hatch. His voice wafted up, muffled by the floor panels. ‘The battery rod seal has been ripped apart. And there are footprints. Someone came in through here.’

Opal threw back her head and screamed. She held it for a long time for such a small individual. Finally her breath ran out.

‘Follow the shuttle,’ she gasped, when her wind returned. ‘I modified those charges myself and they cannot be disarmed. We can still detonate. At the very least we will destroy my enemies.’

‘Yes, Miss Koboi,’ said Merv and Scant together.

‘Don’t look at me,’ howled Opal.

The Brill brothers fled to the cockpit, trying to simultaneously bow, look at their feet, not think anything dangerous and, above all, not pass wind.

Mulch was waiting at the rendezvous site when the LEP shuttle arrived. Butler opened the door and hauled the dwarf in by the collar.

‘Did you get it?’ asked Artemis anxiously.

Mulch passed him the bulging bag. ‘Right here! And before you ask, I left the radio.’

‘So everything went according to plan?’

‘Completely,’ replied Mulch, neglecting to mention the diamond nestling in his stomach wall.

‘Excellent,’ said Artemis, striding past the dwarf to the cockpit.

‘Go,’ he shouted, thumping Holly’s headrest.

Holly already had the shuttle ticking over and was holding it with the brake.

‘We’re gone,’ she said, releasing the brake and flooring the throttle. The LEP craft bolted out of the rocky outcrop like a pebble from a catapult.

Artemis’s legs were dragged from the floor, flapping behind him like windsocks.

The rest of him would have followed if he hadn’t held on to the headrest.

‘How much time do we have?’ Holly asked through lips rippled by G-force.

Artemis pulled himself into the passenger seat. ‘Minutes. The orebody will hit a depth of one hunded and six miles in precisely a quarter of an hour. Opal will be after us any second.’

Holly shadowed the chute wall, spinning between two towers of rock. The lower portion of E7 was quite straight, but this stretch corkscrewed through the crust, following the cracks in the plates.

‘Is this going to work, Artemis?’ said Holly.

Artemis pondered the question. ‘I considered eight plans, and this was the best one. Even so, we have a sixty-four per cent chance of success. The key is to keep Opal distracted so she doesn’t discover the truth. That’s up to you, Holly. Can you do it?’

Holly wrapped her fingers round the wheel. ‘Don’t worry. It’s not often I get a chance to do some fancy flying. Opal will be so busy trying to catch us, she won’t have time to consider anything else.’

Artemis looked out through the windscreen. They were pointing straight down, towards the centre of the Earth. Gravity fluctuated at this depth and speed, so they were alternately pinned to their chairs and straining to be free of their seatbelts. The chute’s blackness enveloped them like tar, except for the cone of light from the shuttle’s headlamps. Gigantic rock formations darted in and out of the cone, heading straight for their nose. Somehow, Holly steered them through without once tapping the brake.

On the plasma dash, the icon representing the gaseous anomaly that was Opal’s ship inched across the screen.

‘They’re on to us,’ said Holly, catching the movement in the corner of one eye.

Artemis’s stomach was knotted from flight nausea, anxiety, fatigue and exhilaration. ‘Very well,’ he said, almost to himself. ‘The chase is on.’

At the mouth of E7, Merv was at the wheel of the stealth shuttle. Scant was on instruments and Opal was in charge of giving orders and general ranting.

‘Do we have a signal from the charges?’ she screeched from her chair.

Her voice is getting really annoying, thought Scant, but not too loudly.

‘No,’ he replied. ‘Nothing. Which means they must be in their shuttle. Their shields must be blocking the charges’ signal. We need to get closer — or I could send the detonation signal anyway. We might get lucky.’

Opal’s screech grew more strident. ‘No! We must not detonate before that shuttle reaches a hundred and six miles. If we do, the orebody will not change course.

What about this stupid communicator? Anything from that?’

‘Negative,’ said Scant. ‘If there’s another one, it must be switched off.’

‘We could always return to Zito’s compound,’ said Merv. ‘We have a dozen more charges there.’

Opal leaned forward in her seat, punching Merv’s shoulders with her tiny fists.

‘Idiot. Moron. Halfwit. Are you in some kind of stupidity competition? Is that it? If we return to Zito’s, the orebody will be too deep by the time we return. Not to mention the fact that Captain Short will present the LEP with her version of events and they will have to investigate, at the very least. We must get closer and we must detonate. Even if we miss the probe window, at least we shall destroy any witnesses against me.’

The stealth shuttle had proximity sensors linked into the navigating software, which meant that Opal and company did not have to worry about colliding with the chute wall or stalactites.

‘How long before we’re in detonation range?’ Opal barked. To be honest, it was more of a yip.

Merv did some quick calculations. ‘Three minutes. No more.’

‘How deep will they be at that point?’