Margaret Haddix - Among the Betrayed

If Nina's heart had been pounding before, it was beat' ing away at triple time now. Every nerve ending in her body seemed to be screaming, 'Alert! Alert! Danger! Danger! Turn around and go back to safety!"

Nina was surprised her brain could still override the warning, could still make her feet slide forward. She stum' bled but didn't fall, and kept moving.

The dark hall ended in a T with another dark hall. Nina turned right at first, hesitated, then turned around. Over the pounding in her ears she could hear shrieks and screams coming from the opposite direction. Somewhere down that hall boys were laughing and yelling at the top of their lungs.

It didn't sound at all like the indoctrination lectures Nina was familiar with — some dry, dusty old teacher droning on uselessly at the front of the room. This sounded like… like fun.

Nina crept back toward the noise, picking up speed when she realized there was no way anyone could hear her footsteps over all that commotion. Finally she reached a lit doorway that was obviously the source of all the noise. She peeked cautiously around the corner, sticking her head out just far enough to see past the doorframe.

It was a huge room, like the dining area back at Harlow School for Girls. Nina saw tables and chairs stacked against the wall — this probably was the dining room for the boys' school, but it'd been converted tonight, with boys running around chasing dozens of rubber balls across the floor.

"Kick it here!"

"No, no, I'm open!"

"Throw me the ball!"

Nina closed her eyes and slipped back out of sight around the corner of the doorframe. The boys' game had thrown her back into a memory from years before:

It was summertime. The apartment was stifling, so Aunty Lystra yanked up the windows behind the blinds, letting in little, useless whispers of breeze. But the open windows also made the noise from the street below distinct for the first time in Nina's memory. She heard little-kid voices chanting, "One potato, two potato, three potato, four. ." She heard the thud of something — a rope? — and jumping feet hitting pavement, and voices singing, "Mama called the doctor and the doctor said…" Nina stood in the middle of her hot little apartment, and an expression of wonder broke over her face. "There. . there are other kids out there," she stammered in amaze' ment. 'And they're playing. They're being loud, and it's okay. Nobody's yelling at them. Can I…" But the question died in her throat, because she saw the answer in Gran's eyes, in the eyes of every single one of her aunties. Other kids could play outside together and be loud. Nina couldn't. Nina would never be allowed to be like other kids.

Nina slid weakly to the floor.

How was it that the boys at Hendricks School were allowed to have fun? Nina remembered how the Harlow girls had sat like little mice through all their classes, squeaking down the hall in terror, ready to dart back into hiding at the slightest threat. It had taken Nina days to get up the nerve to whisper to Sally and Bonner in the dark of their room at night. She couldn't imagine yelling with them, throwing her voice across a crowded, brightly lit room.

But that was what the boys were doing.

Nina turned her head and looked again. This time she held back her sense of astonishment enough to peer at faces. Was Lee Grant in that group of wild, screaming boys?

Nina's eyes skipped from boy to boy — too small, too tall, too dark, too fair…. Was she even capable of remembering what Lee looked like?

Then someone yelled, "Good, good, just pick it up faster," and she recognized the voice. Maybe. She snapped her gaze over to the boy who had yelled. He was standing off to the side, swinging his arms and directing the other boys. He looked taller than Nina remembered Lee being, but maybe he had grown in the past few months. Something else was different about him, too — she couldn't quite tell what it was, but the difference was great enough that she hesitated, wondering if she'd made a mistake. Maybe this boy looked more relaxed than the Lee she remembered, maybe he grinned more confidently.

She didn't remember ever seeing Lee grin before. She couldn't imagine the Lee she'd known cheering so proudly, "That's it! That's it! You scored!"

Or slapping another boy's back so triumphantly.

Nina drew back from the door, shaken. She sat still for a long while, letting the noise from the boys' games spill over her.

She couldn't do it.

She couldn't go up to this strange boy to ask for help. He wasn't the boy she remembered — even if he was Lee Grant, she hadn't known him well enough, or he'd changed too much for her to trust him. This boy positively swaggered — he seemed as overconfident as the hating man.

Or Jason.

Nina moved farther from the door, creeping backward down the hall. She reached the other hall she'd come down and practically crawled to the door to the outside. She raised her body only high enough to turn the knob, and dropped out to the ground.

The last light of dusk was slipping away now. The woods were one huge shadow off to the left. Nina couldn't bear the thought of facing Percy, Matthias, and Alia now. Blindly she inched straight out from the school, toward another clump of shadowy plants. Maybe she could hide there, tell the others about her cowardice in the morning.

Nina reached the edge of the shadows. Something squished beneath her feet, and she wrinkled her nose in disgust. Then she sniffed.

Tomato. Suddenly the air around her smelled like tomato.

Nina reached down, groping in the dark. She felt prickly stems, delicate flowers, pointy leaves. And then she felt small, round balls. She jerked on one of the balls, pulling it off the plant. She brought the round ball up to her mouth, bit into it cautiously.

The taste of fresh tomato exploded in her mouth. Nina dropped the tomato in amazement. She took off running for the woods, forgetting all caution in her delight.

"Alia! Percy! Matthias!" she yelled. "I found a garden! We're saved!"

They came back with the flashlight, all four of them. None of them was cautious. They shone the light from plant to plant—"Look at all the tomatoes!" 'And cab' bages—" "Are those green beans?" Matthias made a wondrous discovery when he tripped over a root and accidentally upended a leafy plant. A huge potato hung from the bottom of it, pulled from its hiding place in the dirt. After that, Nina pulled up other plants and found more potatoes. They gobbled them raw and didn't care. They also found underground carrots, which they ate without even cleaning.

When they'd feasted until they were full, Percy shone the light around at the toppled plants, the discarded stems, the footprints in the dirt.

"Someone's going to know," he said.

Nina raked her fingers through the soil, erasing a foot' print.

"We'll cover our tracks," she said. "Like we did in the woods."

They went back and forth, carrying all the uprooted If plants out to the woods to hide. They buried the smashed tomatoes they'd carelessly knocked to the ground; they picked up every stray leaf and discarded stem.

"There," Percy said, letting one last clod of dirt filter through his fingers, covering one last trampled plant. "Is this how it looked before?"

Nina shone the flashlight back and forth. The globes of red and green looked eerie on the tomato vines. The leaves of the remaining potato plants cast shadows over the holes they'd covered so carefully.

"I don't know," she said doubtfully. It was hard to remember what the garden had looked like in the begin-ning; she'd been so hungry and so overjoyed at the prospect of eating. "I think next time we'll have to be more careful."

She traipsed back to the woods with the other three kids. All of them were subdued suddenly, worn out after their burst of excitement.