Lynda Plante - Entwined

"Please help me, somebody help me."

But no one could hear her, everyone was at the big top. She couldn't stop them from coming. Rebecca could see herself in the frilly white dress, feel the urine trickle down her legs. She was afraid they would open the curtain, she was afraid to see what she had done to Ruda, and she tried desperately to remember what Papa wanted. What was it he wanted... what was it?

Red-red-green-blue-red-red... roses are red, violets are blue, pass the colors from me to you...

Sixteen tigers, three lions, and the black panther. The ring seemed to seethe with cats. Ruda attempted twice to give the command for Roja to move to the red pedestal, but couldn't. Instead in rapid succession she repeated four colors. It was as if her mind were locked. Command after command became confused and the cats started to veer away from the pedestals and meander around the ring.

Vernon moved close to the bars and whispered urgently into his walkie-talkie. "Hold back Mamon. Is he in the tunnel yet? Shit! Don't open the trapdoor yet, keep him in the tunnel. Repeat. Don't release Mamon, don't let him through. Get Grimaldi."

Mamon moved stealthily down the tunnel and reached the midway gate just as it clanged shut in his face. He backed up and ran at it angrily. Vernon prodded him backward with one of the long sticks. Mamon growled and swiped at the stick, but moved back down the tunnel to the safety of his cage.

Ruda remained motionless. The pain across her eyes blinded her. The spotlights began to blur. Her voice was hardly audible as she repeated in a monotone: "Red-red-green-blue-red-red-green."

Gradually the cats became seriously disoriented. In their confusion, led by Roja, the tigers reverted to the first part of the act. They formed a circle around Ruda's motionless body. The audience was mesmerized. No one knew anything was wrong. The orchestra played on; the conductor, who took cues from the act as it progressed, saw the cats forming a circle and cut the music to a low drumbeat.

Grimaldi opened the side trapdoor leading into the arena. He carried a long whip and the cats immediately turned toward him.

"Roja UP... RED UP... SONIA, green, SOPHIA, blue... UP!"

Ruda stared ahead, still mumbling colors, unaware of Grimaldi.

He came quietly, authoritatively, to her side and took her left hand, smiling — but his eyes were focused on the cats.

"Jason... Green. Good boy... UP UP!"

The cats seemed relieved that order had been restored. They returned to the pyramid formation, Grimaldi all the while drawing Ruda gently back from the center of the ring. He felt her hand tighten in his, but he kept his attention on the cats.

"You okay?"

Ruda gasped. She had completely blanked out and the realization of what was happening made her panic momentarily. Then she was back in control. Grimaldi and Ruda worked together, and the audience applauded as the cats sat poised on their pedestals. Slowly Grimaldi handed more and more of the commands back to Ruda, standing a few feet behind her just in case he was needed.

Wanton began to leap from one high pedestal to the next, and the audience cheered. Grimaldi saw Ruda turn toward the trapdoor, expecting Mamon.

From behind her he said softly: "No Mamon, Ruda. Finish the act on Wanton!"

Ruda was confused again. The she looked to Luis and gave a brief nod. As Wanton made his final leap to the top rung, Vernon passed the hoop of fire between the bars. Ruda took the flame torch and showed the audience the hoop. The orchestra picked up again. Ruda fixed the hoop to its stand, then stood back as she touched the cloth to set it alight. It blazed, while spotlights pinpointed the cats. The trapdoor to the tunnel was slid back.

Back at the cages the helpers cajoled and pushed Mamon back into his small cage. They had to move fast to push the cage out of the way of the cats coming back down the tunnel from the ring. The men were sweating from exertion. Mamon was frantic, lunging at them, trying to swipe at them through the bars.

"Don't even try to put him back in his main cage. Let him calm down. Get him out of the way. Come on, move it!"

The tractor was hooked up to Mamon's cage and wheeled out of the clearing. In the ring, Roja jumped through the hoop and ran straight to the tunnel. One by one the cats followed, leaping gracefully through the flames as the lights flickered and spun, herding them back down the tunnel to their cages.

Wanton was the last to leap. From forty feet in the air the cat sprang and for a moment the spotlight caught him in midair. He sprang from the lowest pedestal and upward through the hoop in one fluid movement, his sleek black body bursting through the blazing hoop.

The ring went black and the lights came up with Wanton draped over Ruda's shoulders. He rested across her, impervious to the wild cheers. Ruda slowly bent on one knee, dropped her head, and Wanton sprang off and returned down the tunnel.

Ruda took Grimaldi's hand and they bowed together. As she leaned forward she felt the ground give way beneath her feet. Grimaldi swept her into his arms and, smiling, he carried Ruda from the ring, acknowledging the rapturous applause.

The safety barriers were dismantled quickly and as the helpers took out the gates, they saw Ruda assisted to a chair by Grimaldi. They brought her water and she drank thirstily, leaning against her husband. She covered her face with her hands. "Oh God. Oh God..."

She rocked backward and forward on the chair. Grimaldi angrily waved Vernon away as he approached. "No. Leave us alone. Leave us alone, she's okay."

He didn't want anyone to see her in this condition. He knew how gossip spread and he didn't want it said that Ruda Kellerman was sick. They had six more weeks, and a chance to go back to the States. Grimaldi lifted her to her feet. "We'll go and change for the final parade, okay, Ruda? All right guys, everything's under control. All the cats back in their cages?"

The tractor was pulling all the cages into their covered tent to be put back into their regular, heavier cages. Mamon growled and hissed, swiping and butting the bars. Grimaldi helped Ruda from the arena, then gestured for Mike.

"Be careful with the bastard, he looks mean," he whispered. "Don't move him if you're worried, we'll deal with him when he's calmed down."

Mike nodded and murmured that he'd get the feeds ready, then looked back as Mamon roared his fury. Mamon's cage rocked dangerously as it moved out of sight. Grimaldi didn't have to repeat his order: No one would go near him.

The cold air made Ruda gasp. Grimaldi put a protective arm around her shoulders. Her chest was heaving. "You were right, Luis. I should have listened to you. Seeing Rebecca again made my mind go, but I'll be okay... maybe I need to lie down for a while."

As Grimaldi walked her to the trailer he stepped on Vernon's yellow rain cape, left by the side of the steps. He chucked it aside and helped Ruda inside. She sat down on the bunk, her head between her knees. Grimaldi poured a brandy and held it out for her. Ruda took the glass, cupping it in both hands. "You did okay out there, you old bastard."

He grinned and got himself a drink. "Well you know me, I always did like a challenge."

He caught his reflection in the mirror and chuckled. "I felt good. It's been too long. Maybe if we did the first half we could work something up together. But I won't work with Mamon, he's your baby. Look back at tonight's show — you don't need him. Maybe we could try and get another panther. Wanton's a great crowd-pleaser, they loved him. Did you hear that applause?"

Ruda pulled off her leather gloves. Grimaldi was staring at himself in the mirror.

"I'll start working out, get this fat off me." Grimaldi slapped his belly.

Ruda sipped her brandy, turned her face away. "Where's Rebecca?"