Lei Mi - Profiler

When they reached the empty school playground, Deng Linyue impatiently lit one of the sparklers with Fang Mu's lighter. Holding it as it crackled to life, she jumped and danced, swinging her arm in a small circle while the sparkler glittered in the darkness.

Standing to the side, Fang Mu smoked and looked worriedly into the fireworks box. How long would it take for the whole box?

"Let's do one together." Seeing that he was just standing there, she warmly invited him to join in.

He wasn't interested, but to spare her feelings, he lit a sparkler and swung it around.

In the flickering light, his mind began to wander. The girl silhouetted before him looked just like someone from the deepest part of his memory.

Sadness suddenly welled up inside him.

Noticing that he was staring at her, Deng Linyue blushed slightly and walked over to him.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly.

"I'm fine." He ducked his head and lit another cigarette.

Looking at the sparkler in her hand steadily burning away, Deng Linyue said thoughtfully, "The first time I saw you I felt you were someone with a story. But I also knew you were the kind of person who doesn't like to open up about himself to other people. That's why getting to talk with you this much tonight has made me so happy; because I…I really want to understand you."

Her gaze dropped as her voice grew slowly softer. "Do you remember how I said that Liu Jianjun never made me feel like I could relax completely, like I could completely rely on him?" She paused for several seconds, and then, with what seemed a great deal of determination, looked up. "That night, lying against your chest, I really felt that way."

Fang Mu said nothing. His hands began to tremble.

Thinking back on what happened, Deng Linyue spoke as if she were talking only to herself. "At the time I was so afraid. Of course, I'd been scared before, like when I saw a cockroach or had a bad dream, but that night was different. That was the kind of fear that makes you feel sick from the inside. My mind kept saying the same thing over and over: 'I'm going to die, I'm going to die.' It felt like I was the only person left on Earth; that there was no one who could save me. But then you appeared, at that very moment you appeared. Leaning against your chest, I could feel your breath, your heartbeat. I knew that I had been rescued, that I was safe. No one could hurt me, because you were by my side."

Fang Mu looked down. Although Deng Linyue didn't see it, a huge teardrop rolled down his face.

Chen Xi, I loved you more than anything. And yet I was too late.

Deng Linyue slowly leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"You said that man might try to get me again. If he does," she said, looking up at him, "will you protect me?"

Will you protect me?

She was standing with her back to him in the market; their shadows entwined under the streetlight; her head on his shoulder at the bus stop; soft sounds in the night… Are you still awake? Chen Xi was dressed in white; her long hair fluttering; her face serene in the crime scene photograph…

I will protect you…

At last Fang Mu began to sob. Turning, he saw Deng Linyue, her eyes full of tenderness.

These past few years, I've been so tired.

Unable to help himself, he reached his arms around her and her warm, soft body leaned against his chest. Seconds later a pair of warm, supple lips pressed against his own.

After accompanying Deng Linyue back to her dorm, Fang Mu suddenly felt the need to take a walk alone.

Once he reached the outdoor stadium, he began strolling around the track. For a long time his mind was totally empty. Only when the cold made him start to shiver did he finally come back to reality.

I kissed a girl today?

The details of the kiss were blurry, the feel of her lips, their twining tongues. It was not the unforgettable experience he imagined his first kiss would be. When he had struggled out of the vortex of his memory and seen Deng Linyue pressed sweetly against his chest, his first thought had been, My God, what have I done?

When he had dropped Deng Linyue off at the women's dormitory moments ago, she had looked at him as if she didn't want him to leave, but Fang Mu knew he couldn't stay another second.

Why did I do this?

Was it because of loneliness? Or something else?

When did I get so weak?

At last he was too tired to walk any farther. Leaning against the flagpole at the north end of the stadium, he exhaustedly closed his eyes.

The ice-cold flagpole quickly sent a chill through his body, the sensation like a snake wriggling inside him. Although terribly uncomfortable, he still didn't want to move. He lit a cigarette, inhaled deeply, and then slowly exhaled while looking up at the starlit sky.

The cigarette smoke mixed with his vaporous breath. It obscured the stars, and also obscured the people watching down on him from above.

By the time Fang Mu got back to the dorm it was almost curfew. Du Yu was playing Counter-Strike. When he heard Fang Mu come in he quickly turned around and said, "You're back?"

Afraid he would ask for details, Fang Mu just nodded, and then grabbed his washbasin and headed for the bathroom.

The bathroom light was broken again. In the darkness, Fang Mu filled the basin with cold water and dunked his head. He shivered, but his mind felt clear and light.

Suddenly, something furry brushed quickly past the back of his leg. He was so startled that he swallowed a mouthful of water. He immediately looked up, wiped the water off his face and looked around. A small black and yellow cat was watching him from the bathroom doorway.

Fang Mu knew it was Tom, Meng Fanzhe's cat.

Feeling both curious and amused, Fang Mu cupped his hands full of water and pretended he was about to splash the pet. But for some reason, the cat wasn't scared at all. He just tilted his head and kept looking at Fang Mu.

Fang Mu opened his hands, and as he did a thin stream of water spilled out.

Fast as lightning, Tom leapt away. Instead the water spilled on the foot of someone who had just entered the bathroom.

"Oh no, I'm sorry," said Fang Mu quickly. Looking up, he saw it was Meng Fanzhe. "Oh, it's you. My bad."

Meng Fanzhe smiled to show he didn't care.

Tom had fled the bathroom, but he didn't go far. He sat in the corridor and watched them through the doorway.

As Meng Fanzhe looked at Tom, his eyes filled with affection. "He's really cute, isn't he?" he mumbled to himself dreamily.

"He sure is," said Fang Mu. Suddenly his humor returned, and he added, "Jerry."

Meng Fanzhe turned and looked at him. "Jerry?" He laughed and then looked down, as if thinking something over. "Jerry…Jerry…"

Without another word, Meng Fanzhe abruptly turned and walked out the doorway. Seeing this, Tom raised his tail and silently followed his owner.

Feeling a little embarrassed at having made fun of the guy, Fang Mu grabbed his bar of scented soap and looked off toward where Meng Fanzhe had disappeared.

When Meng Fanzhe had looked at Tom, love hadn't been the only thing in his eyes.

There had also been a trace of pity.

When Fang Mu returned to his room, Du Yu was still at his computer, tirelessly waging war. "Hey, so how was it?" he asked without turning his head.

"How was what?"

"Your romantic date."

"What's there to say? We just ate dinner." Suddenly feeling a little guilty, Fang Mu quickly tore off his clothes and burrowed under the bed covers. He closed his eyes and pretended to go to sleep.

After a while he heard Du Yu finally turn off his computer and climb into bed. A few minutes later he was snoring away.