Kevin Miller - Declared Hostile

A nice rack. That’s all Coach and Trench had seen in Shane.

Macho’s eyes then met those of the officer who had caught her eying him, and she looked away. She now knew a great deal about him by his ribbons and devices, but he knew nothing about her — and would never suspect that Macho had a Silver Star.

A career. Annie had stayed for a career.

The train burst out of the underground tunnel and onto the 14 thStreet Bridge trestle. The water made her think of the ship again. On the ship was the last time she had seen Shane. Her face — a blended image of hurt and bitter contempt toward Macho for what Macho had caused her to lose: her dignity and sense of belonging and her trust in her squadronmates, current and future — would remain an indelible image in Macho’s memory.

In less than a minute, the metro dove again, now under the district streets, as Macho stared out the window at the darkness of the tunnel wall, similar to the darkness she had brought to herself and to another human being who personified light and love of life. Macho had won, but was it worth it to destroy the trust of one — and her own soul — in the process?

At Gallery Place-Chinatown she switched to the Red Line, and a crowd of midday riders pushed in. After a few stops, Macho took a seat, and, with her hair caressing the shoulders of her sleeveless teal dress, she looked like any other young professional woman in Washington taking a break for lunch. She gazed out the window into the empty black subway wall as the train moved from stop to stop, careful not to make eye contact with a scruffy older man who was staring at her in the same way Trench and Coach looked at women. And she had made them pay — at great cost and with significant collateral damage. The “no-load” eyeing her now wasn’t qualified to carry her helmet bag, but he was a man and men looked.

Although she was wearing Sketchers on her feet, the dress, the hair, and the spray of perfume all made a statement . And she could not turn it off for this man and then turn it back on for a professional man her age whose attention she might welcome.

But none of that today…. She was on a mission, and she had to remain focused. There was only one man she had to talk to today before she returned to the airport to catch the flight back to Norfolk.

Crossing into Maryland, the creep got off the train, and Macho relaxed. She kept her professional face expressionless, though, like the other bored young professionals who stared at nothing or were lost in their cell phones. They should be happy , she thought, living in this incredible city, partying all night in Georgetown and getting up the next morning to do it all again . She studied the jaded expressions of the twenty-something girls and their expensive suits, perfect make-up, and killer shoes. She was embarrassed to be caught in her clunky sneakers, despite the comfort. The young men in their wrinkled, ill-fitting suits needed haircuts and seemed unsure of themselves around the girls and around each other. Screw them , she thought. They were up here making policy on Capitol Hill that she and the Skipper and Big Jake and Olive had to execute, that Annie had given her life for. None of the girls looked like down-to-earth girlfriend material, and for a moment Macho judged them in contemptuous superiority — until she realized she had proven to herself and to Shane that she was not down-to-earth girlfriend material either.

At the Medical Center station, Macho got off the train and climbed the broken escalator into the humid air scented with the fresh cut grass workmen had blown off the sidewalks. The maple and oak trees were still green — though the fall change was only days away — and the sunshine felt good. She walked to the crosswalk at Rockville Pike and crossed with the crowd to the long semicircular driveway of the Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, the former Bethesda Naval Hospital. After showing her ID to security, Macho found a ladies’ room and changed into the black pumps she carried in her tote bag. She also freshened her makeup and looked at her reflection, scowling at the image that scowled back at her, nervous at what was about to happen. You earned this, she told herself.

Alone in the elevator, Macho’s heart raced as her clammy hands pushed the “4” button. When the doors opened on the ward, she stepped to the desk. A young nurse, an ensign by her collar device, lifted her head.

“Lieutenant James? May I visit him?” Macho asked.

“Yes, he’s in Room 412,” the nurse replied. Macho turned and smiled to herself as she walked away. No doubt Trench had this girl’s attention, as well as that of a harem of nurses who had bought into his program. Then she reminded herself that, yes, he was wounded in combat, undeclared or not.

Macho’s heels echoed as she walked to the end of the corridor and turned left. She slowed her pace when she saw that the door to Room 412 was open. She leaned forward to peer inside and saw someone in stocking feet and blue jeans on the bed.

“Trench?” she called in a soft tone.

The body flinched, and Trench said, “Who’s that!”

Macho walked in. “It’s me, Macho.”

Trench looked up with wide eyes, not at Macho but away from her, out of the corner of his left eye. His opened his mouth in shock at this unforeseen visit — from the last person he would have ever expected. He soon recovered, and his face went blank.

“Hey.”

Macho stepped to the foot of the bed, and as she did, Trench turned away from her. His wide eyes stared off into space.

“Hey. How are you doing?” she asked him.

“Okay. What brings you here?” His terse answers didn’t make it easy for Macho.

“I came to visit my shipmate.”

Trench closed his eyes and exhaled. “Why?”

“Because I sinned. And since I can’t make it up to the person I betrayed, I’m trying to make it up to you.”

Trench chuckled. “So, Wonder Woman won’t talk to you? Can’t say I blame her.”

“And you ? Have you talked to her since she left the ship?”

“No, but I’ve heard she doesn’t blame me. It’s you and Coach…. mostly you.”

Absorbing the blow she deserved, Macho looked down to gather her thoughts. She tried a new tack.

“Can you see at all?”

“Yeah, but only with my peripheral vision. It’s like I always have a big black circle in front of me, like I’m holding my fist in front of my nose. I can tell you’re wearing a green dress and your hair is down, but I can’t focus on any details. 100 % disability. Soon to be Lieutenant, U.S. Navy, retired.”

“Teal.”

“Wha…?” Trench asked, turning his ear.

“Teal. The color of my dress.”

“Oh, yes, of course, my apologies. Teal . Please forgive my Neanderthal ignorance. Not really a word common to the ready room as I recall. Maybe not even a color found in nature, but you are right . It is important to always be right.”

Macho berated herself. You stupid bitch! Trench had his shields up. Teal. Green. It doesn’t matter. He was the one who was blind, and Macho knew her personality could be grating, always having the last word, always having to be respected . She had to stay in control of her emotions.

“Heh, no, you’re right. It’s green. Chicks know things like teal . Can’t help it.”

“Matches your eyes,” Trench said. Macho, stunned that Trench had ever noticed her eyes, didn’t know how to react.

“Tell me about the XO,” he added.

“She led a strike against their anti-ship missile launch facility. I was with Annie on that one. One of the sweepers was shot down — Lemur in VFA-62. He was about 15 miles off the coast, and the Venezuelans sent all kinds of small craft out to get him. Annie got us some gas and took us back as On-Scene Commander. We were shooting ‘ Winders at them, strafing, but they just kept coming. The Flintlocks found Lemur and were hoisting him up as Woody and I were off chasing a Flanker . Annie was by herself, and she was making cold runs…. She even pickled her drop tanks on them, anything to hold them off. She was flying through small arms, got hit, lost an engine and was on fire, and still she came back to unload her last drop tank. She was slow in her dive and took a hit by a Grail. She corkscrewed in and didn’t get out. I saw it.”