Alexandra Kryuchkova - A Trap for a Thought-Form. Playing Another Reality. M.A. Bulgakov award

“Didn’t you say yesterday,” Roman suddenly put his arm around my shoulder, pulling me to him and moving to a whisper, “that every person is Teacher and Student at the same time? In some way, you are certainly Master for me, but in some way, perhaps, my Student as well. No?”

The electric light came back as suddenly as it had gone away.

I pulled away from Roman abruptly.

The Guardian appeared from behind the black curtain and blew out the antique lantern, however, the candles on the guests’ tables kept burning for a long time.

“The next task is one of the easiest.”

Task No. 4. THANKSGIVING

…Remember at least 50 people who have influenced your destiny. They can be not only parents, but also writers, not only kind people, but those who offended you. The important is that thanks to these people some positive changes took place in you and / or your life.

Make a list of these people, and then mentally turn to everyone and thank, from the bottom of your heart, sincerely, even those who hurt you. They were sent to you from Above and exclusively for the good. However, sometimes it is possible to understand this only many years later. Or, how Sergey Yesenin wisely formulated, “You cannot see a face to face, you can see great things at a distance.”

The Guardian of the Portal approached me and defiantly rang the bell. The break was over. I went onto the stage and announced the Open Mic. The Cat materialized in Roman’s place.

***

“Why u not want I call u?”

“It’s night.”

“Want see u face. See u. No fly. Cancelled. I want u… Translation: I want to hug and kiss you everywhere … Want?”

“Stop, Pasha…”

“No! I want u! Many years u near I wanted… I saw u not can touch u. I like u much much much! U beautiful. But u distance! U not want?.. Yes or no?.. Tell me true! Tell u want so 2!”

“I am tired. I want to sleep.”

“I want 2 sleep with u! I want u much much much! Translation: I want you. Is it bad to say what you feel? Tell me what I’m wrong about? ”

I flew into the Mansion five minutes before the fixed time of our literary party, but the Blizzard was delaying the guests.

“Hello!” the Guardian, as usual, graciously relieved me of the snow-powdered furs and handed them over to the hanger. “Who are you going to introduce to the public today? The cryptic book title on the poster is a real charade! ‘Ucatanagon’, is it about some ‘Cat’? Or is it just something ‘gone’? Another Swampy? Baba Yaga? Or the skeleton of Koschey the Immortal?”

“You won’t believe the truth,” I whispered mysteriously as I walked into the cafe.

“One of the Rainbow?!” mirroring my whisper, the Guardian suggested and followed me to make us coffee.

“No, the Rainbow is still ahead of us! And here… how to explain… The annotation says, it’s like a mystical fantasy about options for the further development of mankind, ruled by Ucatanagon with a certain Ma… However, as you read along, you find the bear having non-standard sex with the fox, and then killing it. The bull is engaged in even more unconventional sex with…”

“S-stop-stop-stop! I see!” the Guardian laughed, handing me a double espresso with milk. “I figured out who the Ucatanagon is!”

“It seems to me that even the author himself didn’t understand who Ucatanagon was, but that doesn’t matter anymore.”

The hall was gradually flooded with guests.

“I look at them,” the Guardian said thoughtfully, “and I think, isn’t it the Ball of…? You know whom I mean…”

“The Ball is scheduled for the 40 thnight… Tell me, is the Portal located in the postbox room, where letters to the Creator are written?”

“I can’t answer that question,” the Guardian sighed with a shrug.

“I felt it there… Are there other rooms nearby?”

“Yes, there is one next to the postbox room.”

“Could you open it for me? For a couple of minutes, while the guests are gathering…”

We sailed into an adjoining room, where I slowly spun around the table. The walls were full of…

“Would you like me to make an exhibition of your paintings here?” the Guardian suddenly suggested.

“How do you know I paint?”

“You gave me your ‘Moon Cat’, there is your painting on the cover, ‘The Girl and the Cat’. And inside the book, there are the same Girl and the Cat, already as drawings. You have a lot of works about the Girl and the Cat. They are very relevant here. So, do you want an exhibition?”

“I think it’s better to gift the rest of that serial paintings to the Mansion. Some have already been sold, some have been donated… I will bring you the paintings on the 40 thnight as my gift for the Museum. Yes?”

The Guardian didn’t answer. I thought about it, and suddenly, in the silence, I felt that…

“The Portal! Is it HERE?!” I exclaimed in surprise.

The Guardian smiled.

“Listen, it can’t be like that! I felt the Portal there, and now it’s here?!”

The Guardian came up to me and carefully ran his hand through my hair.

“You are very beautiful, Alice…”

The door opened, the Cat appeared on the threshold.

“Meow?!!!”

“He seems to be jealous,” the Guardian smiled, and we returned to the hall.

***

While the Zoo lover was sharing with the guests his vague concepts of the further development of mankind and answered questions, I kept glancing at my table with a lonely cup of coffee bored on it.

I felt… sad…

I admitted to myself that I got used to the appearance of Roman at our literary parties. I was afraid he wouldn’t come again.

During the break, I was back at the table when the door to the hall opened and…

“Hello,” Roman smiled, taking a seat next to me.

“Do you want coffee?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“So you’re not a phantom after all!” I exhaled in relief.

“What if you are a phantom, like me, and like your coffee?” I heard in response.

“And like the Guardian? And this house?” I continued my train of thought.

“And like all these guests,” Roman finished it there.

“When are we going to walk through walls?” Roman asked me aloud, sipping his coffee.

“As soon as we become phantoms,” I replied. “First, reset to zero to become wizard. The tasks I give you now, in fact, have to be done with a certain frequency, not just once. These are the rules of magicians’ life. They exist on a par with the rules of ordinary people life, like brushing your teeth, for example.”

“Okay. Have you already thanked everyone mentally?” Roman remembered my previous task.

The bell rang before I could think of a response.

Roman leaned towards me.

“In my opinion, the Guardian is jealous,” he whispered. “The break ends somehow quickly.”

“Write down the task!”

Task No. 5. WISHING WISHES

…Make a list of all your possible ill-wishers (of course, there shouldn’t be any, but they inevitably appear from time to time). Even if you have completed the task of repentance and forgiveness, even if you have personally reconciled with everyone, and you have been really (not in words) forgiven, wish everyone from the bottom of your heart exactly what he lacks, and / or what you want to receive for yourself personally, if you don’t know what the ill-wisher needs.