Дэвид Балдаччи - The Guilty

“And he’s a little beat up for hand-to-hand combat, Dan,” pointed out Reel. “And the fact that he’s been nearly killed a few times trying to help you should count a little in his favor, don’t you think?”

Dan blinked at her, his face changed color, and he abruptly sat back down and stared at the tabletop.

“The Barksdales?” prompted Robie.

His father growled, “That was over twenty years ago. What does it matter?”

“Because it might be connected to what’s going on now.”

Dan shot him a glance. “How do you figure that?”

“The photo was in Clancy’s possession. Clancy was a blackmailer. I can’t think of another reason why he would have that photo. As far as I knew he didn’t even know the Barksdales. They were from far different classes of people.”

“That’s true. And those classes generally don’t mix in Mississippi.”

“But they might have mixed. We were told that Nelson Wendell used a shack on Sherman Clancy’s farm to have his little get-togethers with the kids. It was how Clancy got on to what Wendell was really doing and then started his blackmailing.”

Dan looked disgusted. “What scum. He should have gone to the cops.”

“He was after dollars, not doing the right thing,” commented Reel.

Robie added, “Pete said his father thought the shack was being used by Wendell for liaisons with women. He probably would have blackmailed him either way. But the kid thing was far worse than having mistresses. But let’s get back to the Barksdales.”

Dan said, “So you think he was blackmailin’ them, too?”

“Did he have a way to?”

“How would I know that? I was a humble Cantrell lawyer back then. Just like Clancy, I didn’t rub elbows with the likes of the Barksdales. I told you that!”

“But I dated Laura. In fact I wanted to run off with Laura.”

Father and son stared across the table at each other while Reel glanced between them.

“So that was what happened,” said Dan accusingly. “Thanks for finally gettin’ around to tellin’ me.”

“No, it didn’t happen, because Laura decided to stay. So I went alone.”

Dan eyed him fiercely. “And why did you do that? You had a damn college scholarship to play football at Ole Miss. Sure you were a little undersized for quarterback but you had grit. And you would’ve gotten an education, made something of yourself.”

“I did make something of myself.”

“But not here,” said his father. “You had to run off to do it. Cut me and your mother right out.”

“She was already gone, Dad. Long gone by then. You saw to that.”

Reel rose. They both glanced at her.

“I think what’s about to come should be between you two men only. I’ll be waiting outside, Robie, when you’re done.” She paused and looked in turn at each of them. “Do I have to check for weapons?”

She wasn’t entirely joking.

“We’ll be fine,” said Robie.

She walked out after giving him a meaningful glance.

Robie turned back to his father.

“I had to get out of Cantrell.”

“Why?”

“You damn well know why. Because you were here.”

“Is that right?” snapped his father. “Just up and left without a word.”

“You left home. So did I. Why was it okay for you and not me?”

Dan erupted, “Because my old man was a—”

“A what?” interrupted Robie. “An asshole that made his son’s life a living hell? Who made things so bad that his own wife couldn’t live with him and finally up and left, leaving the son alone with him?”

“You just blurred two lives, Will, mine and yours,” said his father.

“Apparently, they were identical,” shot back Robie.

“You can’t understand. You don’t know anythin’ about—”

“Then why don’t you explain it to me, Dad ? Because I’m here now . And I’m listening.”

“You don’t want to hear anythin’ I have to say,” his father scoffed.

“Actually, that’s the reason I came back here.”

“Bullshit.”

Robie continued on, his tone level and calm. It was as though he had rehearsed his entire adult life to say what he was about to.

“I have a job, Dad. A complex one that requires me to be absolutely perfect at what I do. But on my last two missions I wasn’t perfect. I was far from it, in fact.” Here Robie paused, and when he continued his voice had grown strained. “I killed someone I shouldn’t have. And the next go-round I saw something that wasn’t even there. A little boy and his old man. But they weren’t there. They were just in my head.” He tried to say something else but the words were all muddled in his head. He had thought through what he would say to his father many times. Now that he had the chance, he just couldn’t manage it.

The case clock in the foyer ticked out the time as the men stared at each other. It felt nearly an eternity, perhaps longer to both of them.

Finally, his father spoke. “I told Laura you’d gone off without her.”

Robie felt like someone had fired a bullet right into his brain.

“What?” he said quietly, trying to keep what he was feeling restrained inside him, because he wasn’t sure what would happen if he didn’t.

“I told her you wanted to start life fresh away from here.”

“When?”

“She came by a few days after you left. She wanted to know where you were. I saw your stuff was gone. And that old clunker, too. I knew what’d happened. Even if you hadn’t bothered to leave me a damn note. Anythin’ could’a happened to you. Anythin’!” Dan slammed his fist on the table.

“You had no right to tell her anything.”

“I had every right! You were my son. Even if you had run off. And you didn’t take her with you, so I figured you just... just didn’t want her. So I told her that flat-out.”

“And what did she do?”

“She ran off cryin’.” Dan lowered his head, his angry expression gone. But Robie felt it all building inside of him. For one split second he imagined himself pulling his gun...

“You didn’t need her,” continued Dan.

“Stop talking, Dad,” Robie said, his voice barely a whisper.

“She just would’a weighed you down. You wanted out of Cantrell? Well, you needed to make a clean break of it. And that father of hers—”

Robie stood. “Shut up, Dad.”

Dan looked up at him, anger flashing across his features, until he saw the look on his son’s face. And, perhaps for the first time in his life at least since Vietnam, Dan Robie seemed afraid for his life.

Before he did something he might regret, Robie turned and walked out.

“How’d it go?” asked Reel.

She and Robie were out on the rear porch of the Willows.

“I’m not talking about it,” snapped Robie. His heart was racing, his blood pressure had spiked, and he thought he might be sick to his stomach. He was the exact opposite of cold zero, a physiological level he might never experience again.

Robie slowly pulled out the photo of Laura Barksdale.

“So, was he able to enlighten you on that?” asked Reel.

Robie nodded. “In a way I never imagined.”

“What does that mean?”

But Robie shook his head. “Not now, Jess.”

Reel took the photo and studied it. “She was very beautiful.”

“Yeah, she was.”

“I could see how a young man would fall head over heels for her.”

“Yeah,” said Robie as he took the photo back.

“So you must have come to this house a lot back then?”

“Not that often, actually.”

“Why?”

“Her parents wouldn’t have approved.”

“What, you weren’t blue blood enough?”