Джеймс Чейз - The Way the Cookie Crumbles

She wandered over to a lounging chair and sat down.

For a long moment, she stared at Algir, then with a contemptuous grimace, she looked at Edris.

‘If this birdbrain doesn’t stop picking on me,’ she said, ‘I’ll walk right out of here. I mean it! Just because the slob can’t keep his money in his pockets doesn’t mean he can lean his weight on me!’

Algir started to say something, but Edris cut in, ‘I said knock it off! Leave her alone!’ To Ira, he went on, ‘Okay, baby, don’t worry about him. How’s it been going?’

‘I have most of the dope you want. It hasn’t been easy and I’ve had to watch my step, but I’ve got it.’ She opened her handbag and took out a folded sheet of paper. ‘How’s that for a start?’

Edris took the paper from her. He unfolded and examined it. After a few moments, he asked, ‘The dead safes?’

‘Some of them. There are others, but these are rented by the big spenders. There’s no record of what the safes contain. The clients open the safes themselves and the bank isn’t responsible for their contents, but judging by the size of their drawings, they should be loaded,’ Ira said. ‘I’ve found out there are five Texas oilmen due to leave at the end of the week. They’ve been winning thousands of dollars at the Casino. It’s an even bet they’ll leave their winnings in their safes before returning to Texas. You’ll find the numbers of the five safes in the second column.’

‘What’s the good of having the numbers of the damned safes?’ Algir snarled. ‘We want what’s in the safes!’

Neither Ira nor Edris paid any attention to him.

‘This is fine, baby,’ Edris said. ‘Now we want to find out how the security system works.’

‘I’ve found that out.’ Ira opened her bag and took out a pack of cigarettes. She lit a cigarette, then went on, ‘I talked to Papa. He thinks I’m a career girl. He told me how the system works and if he doesn’t know, then no one does.’

Edris leaned forward, his little eyes sparkling.

‘How does it work?’

‘I’ll tell you this much: you don’t stand a prayer bursting into the bank at night. There are six armed guards and each of them has been screened. They are picked men and it would be like handling dynamite to try and get at them. They are on constant patrol with dogs all during the night. The safes are below the bank in a vault lined with three inch steel and backed with four foot concrete walls. At closing time, the vaults are flooded. The water is drained out by a timing clock device at 06.00 hours and dried out by heater fans. So you can skip any idea of breaking into the vaults during the night.’

Algir savagely ground his cigarette into the ashtray.

‘I told you all along it was crazy even to think of getting at those safes!’ he snarled at Edris. ‘We’re just damn well wasting our time.’

‘Wrap up!’ Edris said, not looking at him. ‘How about during the day, baby?’

‘Still too tough. There are twelve guards patrolling. The grill to the vaults is kept locked and guarded by two guards with automatic rifles. They look big and tough enough to scare an army. The place is crawling with alarms. Papa said if twenty men went into the bank with smoke bombs and guns, they wouldn’t stand a hope. There’s a guard in a bulletproof glass tower who checks everyone in. You can’t get near him. If anything should start, he presses a button that closes and locks all the exits. The vaults are flooded and the cop house is alerted. So a bust in during office hours is strictly for the birds.’

Edris chuckled and rubbed his stumpy hands together.

‘They’ve certainly thought of everything, haven’t they, baby? Now, tell me something. Who does go into the vaults?’

‘The clients.’

‘No one else?’

Ira smiled.

‘Now you’re getting warm. Yes, there’s someone else. There’s a receptionist who takes the clients to their safes.’

Edris nodded.

‘I’ve heard about her. You met her yet?’

‘I’ve met her. Her name’s Doris Kirby. She’s thirty-three and she’s been doing the job now for eight years. You could no more get to her than you could get to a bishop.’

‘Know where she lives, baby?’

‘No, but I can find out.’

Edris nodded.

‘You find out, baby, as soon as you can. Phone me the address. It’s as urgent as that.’

‘Okay.’

‘Just what does she do, baby? Do you know that?’

‘Imagine you’re a client,’ Ira settled further into the cushions of the settee, ‘and you want to rent a safe. You go to the bank and you fill in a form. Name, address and telephone number; how long and how often you want to use the safe. You are given a key. If you lose it, the lock has to be forced: there are no duplicates. Each safe has two locks. You have one key and the bank has a pass key to the other lock. The safes can’t be opened unless both keys are used. The Kirby girl takes care of the pass key which she gives to the guard when she leaves. When you want to use the safe, you go to the guard at the grill. You show him your key which is numbered. He checks the number which tells him your name and address. He also has a photograph of you. Each key has its own password. You give him that and if he is then satisfied, he lets you go beyond the grill. At the foot of the stairs, the Kirby girl is sitting at a desk. You give her your number and she takes you to your safe. She unlocks the first lock with the pass key and then leaves you if you are likely to be long. You unlock the second lock with your key, put in or take out your money, and then ring a bell. Kirby comes back, locks her lock and takes you to the grill. That’s how it works and that’s what she does.’

Edris grinned evilly.

‘Fine, baby, fine, fine! I thought it would take you at least a month to come up with all that dope. You’re smart and I love you!’

‘You think all that crap’s fine?’ Algir exploded. ‘Okay, you tell me how we get at the money in those safes! I don’t give a damn about their system. How do we get at the money?’

‘Phil, buddy-boy, this is where you start doing some work. You’ve been bellyaching about this long wait, now the wait’s over. Your first job is to get little Miss Kirby out of the way. Nothing drastic. She’s to go on sick leave for at least a week. Can you fix that?’

Algir looked startled.

‘Well, go on why do we want her out of the way?’

‘Because, baby here is going to take her place. Aren’t you, baby doll?’

‘That’s the idea,’ Ira said, ‘but Crawsure’s got the last word on that.’

‘No, he hasn’t,’ Edris said, grinning. ‘Your Papa has baby, and he’s the big shot in the bank. You’ll tell Papa you want the chance to get to know some of his important clients. He’ll fall for that line especially if you point out Kirby won’t be away for long and the short experience will do you good. Explain that to Papa, and I bet you won’t have any trouble.’

Algir was now showing interest.

‘She takes an impression of the pass key? That’s it, isn’t it?’ he said, sitting forward.

‘She takes an impression not only of the pass key but of the client’s keys as well, especially those five Texans’ keys.’

‘How does she do that? Just now she said the clients kept their keys. How does she get hold of them?’

‘She sexes the keys out of them,’ Edris said. Simpering, he held out his stumpy hand, ‘If you will give me your key, Mr. Clunkerhead, I will be happy to open the safe for you.’

‘These Texans are hardboiled. Maybe they’ll tell her to go to hell.’

‘Would you tell a girl as pretty as this one to go to hell Phil?’

Algir regarded Ira critically. She put out her tongue at him.