Clare Mackintosh - I Let You Go

‘Who is Charlotte?’ You were shaking, but you stayed standing in front of me.

I laughed. ‘I have no idea.’ It was true: I didn’t remember her at all. She could have been any number of girls. ‘She’s probably some waitress who took a shine to me – I must have shoved the receipt in my pocket without looking at it.’ I spoke easily, without a trace of defensiveness, and I saw you falter.

‘I hope you’re not accusing me of anything.’ I held your gaze challengingly, but you looked away and didn’t speak again. I almost laughed. You were so easy to beat.

I stood up. You were wearing a vest-top with no bra underneath and I could see the spread of your cleavage, and the shape of your nipples beneath the fabric. ‘Have you been out like that?’ I asked.

‘Just to the shops.’

‘With your tits on show?’ I said. ‘Do you want people to think you’re some sort of slapper?’

You brought your hands up across your chest and I pushed them away. ‘It’s all right for complete strangers to see them, but not me? You can’t pick and choose, Jennifer: either you’re a tart or you’re not.’

‘I’m not,’ you said quietly.

‘That’s not how it looks from where I’m standing.’ I brought up my hand and pushed my cigarette end into your chest, grinding it out between your breasts. You screamed, but I had already left the room.

39

As Ray strode through back to his office after the morning meeting, he was collared by the station duty officer. Rachel was a slim woman in her early fifties, with neat, bird-like features and closely cropped silver hair.

‘Are you duty DI today, Ray?’

‘Yes,’ Ray said, suspiciously, in the knowledge that nothing good ever followed that question.

‘I’ve got a woman called Eve Mannings at the front counter who wants to report a fear for welfare: she’s concerned about her sister.’

‘Can’t shift deal with it?’

‘They’re all out, and she’s very worried. She’s already been waiting an hour to see someone.’ Rachel didn’t say anything else; she didn’t need to. She simply looked at Ray over plain, wire-framed glasses, and waited for him to do the right thing. It was like being told off by a kindly but intimidating aunt.

He peered through the SDO to the front counter, where a woman was doing something on a mobile phone.

‘Is that her?’

Eve Mannings was the sort of woman more at home in a coffee shop than a cop shop. She had sleek brown hair that swished around her shoulders as she bent her head to look at her phone, and a bright yellow coat with over-sized buttons and a flowery lining. She was flushed, although that was not necessarily a reflection of her state of mind. The central heating in the station only seemed to have two settings: arctic or tropical, and today was obviously a tropical day. Ray silently cursed the protocol that dictated that fear-for-welfare reports should be dealt with by a police officer. Rachel would have been more than capable of taking a report.

He sighed. ‘All right, I’ll send someone down to see her.’

Satisfied, Rachel went back to her counter.

Ray made his way upstairs and found Kate at her desk. ‘Can you nip down and deal with a fear for welfare at the front desk?’

‘Can’t shift deal?’

Ray laughed at the face she pulled. ‘Already tried that. Go on, it’ll take twenty minutes, max.’

Kate sighed. ‘You’re only asking because you know I never say no.’

‘You want to be careful who you say that to.’ Ray grinned. Kate rolled her eyes, but an attractive blush spread across her cheeks.

‘Go on, then, what’s the job?’

Ray handed her the piece of paper Rachel had given him. ‘Eve Mannings. She’s waiting for you downstairs.’

‘Okay, but you owe me a drink.’

‘Fine by me,’ Ray called, as she left CID. He had apologised for the awkwardness at dinner, but Kate had shrugged it off as unimportant and they hadn’t spoken about it again.

He made his way to his office. When he opened his briefcase he found a Post-it note from Mags on his diary with the date and time of their meeting with the school the following week. Mags had drawn a circle around it in red felt-tip pen, in case he had missed it. Ray stuck it to the front of his computer with the other Post-it notes, each carrying supposedly important bits of information.

He was still midway through his in-tray when Kate knocked on his door.

‘Don’t stop me,’ Ray said. ‘I’m on a roll.’

‘Can I fill you in on this fear for welfare?’

Ray stopped and gestured for Kate to sit down.

‘What are you doing?’ she said, looking at the mountain of paper on his desk.

‘Admin. Filing, mostly, and my expenses for the last six months. Finance say that if I don’t get them in today they won’t authorise them.’

‘You need a PA.’

‘I need to be allowed to get on with being a police officer,’ he said, ‘instead of all this crap. Sorry. Tell me how you got on.’

Kate looked at her notes. ‘Eve Manning lives in Oxford, but her sister Jennifer lives here in Bristol with her husband, Ian Petersen. Eve and her sister fell out about five years ago and she hasn’t seen her or her brother-in-law since. A few weeks ago Petersen popped round to see Eve out of the blue, asking where her sister is.’

‘She’s left him?’

‘Apparently so. Mrs Manning got a card from her sister several months ago but she couldn’t make out the postmark and she’s thrown away the envelope. She’s just found the card torn into pieces and hidden behind a clock on her mantelpiece, and she’s convinced her brother-in-law did it when he visited.’

‘Why would he do that?’

Kate shrugged. ‘No idea. Mrs Manning doesn’t know either, but it’s put the wind up her for some reason. She wants to report her sister missing.’

‘But she isn’t missing, clearly,’ Ray said, exasperated. ‘Not if she’s sent a card. She just doesn’t want to be found. The two things are entirely different.’

‘That’s what I told her. Anyway, I’ve written it up for you.’ She handed a plastic sleeve to Ray, containing a couple of handwritten pages.

‘Thanks. I’ll take a look.’ Ray took the report and put it on his desk among the sea of paperwork. ‘Assuming I can get through this lot, are you still up for a drink later? I think I’m going to need it.’

‘Looking forward to it.’

‘Great,’ Ray said. ‘Tom’s going somewhere after school and I’ve said I’ll pick him up at seven, so it’ll just be a quick one.’

‘No worries. Does that mean Tom’s making friends?’

‘I think so,’ Ray said. ‘Not that he’ll tell me who they are. I’m hoping we’ll find out more when we see the school next week, but I’m not holding my breath.’

‘Well, if you need a sounding board in the pub, feel free to offload.’ Kate said. ‘Not that I can offer any advice about teenage kids, mind.’

Ray laughed. ‘To be honest, it’s nice to talk about something other than teenage kids.’

‘Then I’m happy to provide a distraction.’ Kate grinned, and Ray had a sudden picture in his mind of that night outside her flat. Did Kate ever think about it? He considered asking her, but Kate was already heading back to her desk.

Ray got out his phone to text Mags. He stared at the screen, trying to come up with some wording that wouldn’t antagonise Mags or be an out and out lie. He shouldn’t have to bend the truth at all, he thought; going for a drink with Kate should be no different to going for a pint with Stumpy. Ray ignored the voice in his head that told him precisely why it wasn’t the same.

He sighed and put the phone back in his pocket, text message unwritten. Easier not to say anything at all. Glancing through his open office door, he could see the top of Kate’s head as she sat at her desk. She was certainly providing a distraction, Ray thought. He just wasn’t sure it was the right kind.