Стюарт Вудс - Wild Card

“Maybe I should take the course,” Jamie replied thoughtfully.

“Well, you’d have to spend six weeks in Israel — and it costs twenty-five thousand dollars if you’re not a Mossad agent.”

“Maybe I could get the Times to pay for it.”

Stone was making all this up, and he thought it was time he put an end to it before Jamie headed off to Israel. “They won’t accept journalists in the course. That’s the first question they ask you when you show up for training. If you lie to them, they take you out and shoot you.”

“ Shoot you?”

“The Mossad is tough. They don’t fuck around.” Stone spurred his horse into a gallop before he had to answer any more questions.

When they got back to the stables, another pair of horses had just been brought out for Craig and Vanessa.

Stone motioned Craig over.

“What is it, Stone?”

Stone leaned in and whispered, “Are you absolutely certain that you want to get on that horse?”

Craig made a disgusted noise and slapped his own forehead.

“What?” Vanessa cried when she was told they couldn’t go riding.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been advised against it.”

“Why not?”

“It’s a security precaution,” he replied with a straight face.

Stone and Jamie walked back to the house. “Could you tell Craig was lying?” he asked her.

“No,” she replied.

“So much for instinct.”

While Stone and his guests were having drinks in the library early that evening, Derek Forrest appeared at the door and motioned for Stone to come into the hall.

“What is it?” Stone asked.

“We got the DNA results back,” Derek said, then read from a sheet of paper. “The man’s name is Antonio Fenzi,” he said. “Also, Anthony Farmer.” He showed Stone a sheet of paper with a mug shot. “Also Albert Fender. It’s the first time I’ve ever run a DNA check that came back with three names.” He handed Stone two more sheets of paper.

“But all with the same face,” Stone said. “And all three have arrests for assault, battery, and disturbing the peace, but on different dates. I wonder which name is on his passport?”

“Good question,” Derek said.

“Can Strategic Services let immigration officials know that they’ve admitted this man to the country, and find out which name he used?”

“We can do that.”

“You might let them know, too, that he’s a part of an assassination team, heavily armed.”

“We can do that, too.”

“For what it’s worth,” Stone said, “I’d bet he’s traveling as Anthony Farmer.”

“Why do you think that?” Derek asked.

“The Italian name is probably in some files that the New York district attorney has, but it would have been changed legally at some point. I suspect that Albert Fender was an afterthought when he got busted later.”

“I’ll mention that.”

“And you should tell them that, for an identifying mark, he might have a bullet wound in the ass.”

Derek laughed. “I’ll get right on it.”

Stone went back to the library.

“What’s happening?” Jamie asked.

“The best possible thing,” Stone replied. “Nothing.”

“Then what did that man want?” Jamie asked.

“Derek was just giving me a periodic report.”

Craig Calvert, who seemed taller than usual because he was sitting on a loose cushion, said, “Nothing works for me.”

Vanessa spoke up. “I’m not even going to ask,” she said, “because I’m certain the answer would bore me to death.”

“Good call,” Stone replied.

The following morning, Dino called from somewhere south of Ireland. “Wheels down in an hour,” he said.

“Great, I’ll have customs waiting to arrest you.” Stone asked Major Bugg to summon customs. Then, when some time had passed, Stone drove a golf cart down to the airstrip, arriving in time to watch the big Gulfstream touch down and taxi over to the hangar, where the customs van awaited. Stone stood off until his friends had been cleared, then collected them and their luggage.

“Is Craig Calvert still here?” Viv asked immediately.

“Oh, stop it,” Dino said.

“He’s working out with his trainer in the gym,” Stone replied. “He works out for four hours a day, but he’ll probably make an appearance at lunch.”

“I hope he’s still sweaty,” Viv said. “Did our team arrive on schedule?”

“They did, and they’ve already wounded a would-be assassin.” Stone handed Dino the three sheets.

“Have you had him arrested?”

“Derek has notified immigration, and we’ll let them handle it. I don’t want a lot of cops crawling all over the place. I’m told somebody will alert the media when they find out Craig Calvert is here, and you’ll have to spend your little holiday indoors, hiding from the paparazzi.”

Stone’s phone rang. “Yes?”

“It’s Felicity. Have Dino and Viv arrived yet?”

“How could you possibly know that?” Stone said. “Have you got a satellite trained on me?”

“Heavens, no,” she replied. “Dino and Viv always arrive shortly after you do.”

“I’ve been here for a month,” Stone pointed out.

“Well, I do have my sources. In fact, I understand Craig is your houseguest. May I invite myself over for dinner? I should be down from London in time.”

“Let me give you some fresh intelligence, then you decide. Vanessa Pym is Craig’s houseguest.”

“Oh, shit!” Felicity said.

“That was very unladylike.”

“Perhaps, but it was heartfelt. If I go anywhere near that little bitch, she’ll make the most awful noises.”

“I’m told she does that anyway, but not at dinner.”

“Well, it’s beans on toast at home for me, then,” Felicity said. “Goodbye.” She hung up.

“Felicity says hello,” Stone said to the Bacchettis.

“Is she coming to dinner?” Viv asked.

“Craig already has a date, and Felicity can’t be in the same house with her.”

“Anyone we might have heard of?”

“Vanessa Pym.”

“Oh, my God! Two movie stars!”

Dino spoke up. “Put me next to Vanessa Pym at dinner,” he said.

“Dino,” Viv said, “you’re too short to see down her dress.”

“I’ll sit on a phone book,” Dino replied.

At the front door there was a line of six security officers to greet their boss from New York. Viv flattered them by asking each questions about what they were doing.

“I winged one of ’em,” one officer said.

“Oh, good,” Viv said, “is his hide nailed to the barn door?”

“Next time,” the man replied.

Craig Calvert did appear at lunch, to the delight of Viv, but Vanessa Pym wasn’t up yet, disappointing Dino. They were just finishing lunch when Major Bugg entered the kitchen and whispered to Stone, “Detective Chief Inspector Holmes to see you. I put him in the library.”

Stone excused himself and walked down the hall, wondering how he should handle this. He decided to let Holmes, whom he knew, tell him.

“Good afternoon, Chief Inspector,” Stone said as Holmes rose to greet him. “Can I get you something?”

“Well, I know it’s five o’clock somewhere, but not in the South of England, old fellow.” Holmes sat down again.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I’ve just had a call from immigrations warning me of an assassination team on my patch. Is someone after you again, Stone?”

“Possibly,” Stone said.

“I’m sorry you didn’t think to call me.”

“Strategic Services in London handled it. I left it to them to call you, but apparently they didn’t. I’m sorry.”

“No, they didn’t. I shall speak to them about that. Would you like to bring me up to date?”