Gillian Jackson - The Accident

Hannah was impressed with the tremendous effort the Joneses had so obviously put into making their son’s dream a reality. There were a couple of buildings where visitors were not allowed, one a hospital block and the other a quiet space for new or timid animals to settle in. But there were photographs outside these areas, showing the interior and some of the occupants, images which elicited many oohs and ahs from the visitors.

Other than these restricted areas there was so much to see. Donkeys, Shetland ponies and goats were enjoying the attentions of the visitors and probably being given far too much food, while cats weaved in and out of the multitude of legs as if they owned the place, which in a way, of course, they did.

After an hour or so, Hannah needed to sit down, so they made their way towards a marquee which sold refreshments for a welcome cup of tea and a break. It was there that she saw Cassie Jones. The woman was heading her way and Hannah was unsure whether she wanted to speak with her or not, but then she reminded herself that there was absolutely no reason why she shouldn’t, and she deserved being congratulated on such a remarkable achievement.

Cassie smiled as she neared Hannah’s table, and Hannah reached up to catch her arm.

‘Mrs Jones?’ she said. Cassie sat down on a seat next to her and smiled. ‘My name’s Hannah Graham. I’d just like to say how wonderful this is, it’s remarkable, and you’ve done such an amazing job.’

‘Thank you, Mrs Graham. I remember you from the inquest. How are you doing?’

‘I’m fine, thank you, up and about again now.’ She gave a rather embarrassed smile.

‘So I see. I’m really pleased for you, and thank you for coming today. We all lost so much that awful day, and it’s good to catch up on how others are getting along. I’ve just been talking to Joe Parker; I don’t know if you remember him, he lost his wife in the accident?’

‘Oh yes, I bumped into Joe at the hospital. How is he?’

‘Well, he seems to be heading your way, so perhaps he can tell you for himself?’ Cassie smiled as she nodded towards where Joe was approaching, and then she stood up to leave her seat free. ‘It’s been lovely to meet you, Mrs Graham, please keep in touch; it would be good to chat when I’ve more time.’ With that she left and a smiling Joe Parker slid into her seat.

‘I thought it was you!’ He sounded really pleased to see her and Hannah introduced him to her children.

‘Isn’t this wonderful, Alan and Cassie have worked tremendously hard to achieve all this.’ Joe was obviously impressed.

‘They certainly have,’ Hannah agreed. ‘And this weather’s perfect. Who would have thought we could have one of the best summers for years after such an abysmal winter?’

They were both thoughtful for a moment, silently remembering exactly what the winter had cost them.

Sam broke into the silence. ‘Mum, will you be okay if we go and explore a bit more? Mel wants to get a few more pictures.’

‘Of course, take your time, love; I’ll probably still be here, drinking the teapot dry.’

Sam and Mel said goodbye to Joe and left to see the rest of the farm.

‘Your daughter’s the image of you, you must be very proud of them,’ Joe remarked.

‘I am, they’re great kids, both off to uni soon so I’ll miss them like crazy, but don’t tell them I said so!’

‘Your secret’s safe with me!’

‘So, how are you getting on, Joe?’

‘Okay — well ... maybe not okay, you know?’

Hannah nodded.

‘I almost envy Cassie and Alan for the way they’ve channelled their grief into something so positive,’ Joe continued. ‘They’re an extraordinary couple and what they’ve done here is nothing short of amazing. I didn’t know them before so I never met Timmy, but he must have been a remarkable young man to inspire all this. They seem to have found a reason to keep going, to cope with their grief; I suppose that’s what I envy...’ Joe looked as if his thoughts were miles away. ‘They say we all find our own coping mechanisms, eventually.’

‘So how do you cope?’ Hannah looked directly into his eyes.

‘Nothing so original for me, I’m afraid, simply taking one day at a time. They say time heals but just lately time seems to bring one problem after another. My brother died a couple of months ago too. He was murdered.’

As Hannah listened she studied the man sitting just a few feet away from her. He had the air of having lived through so much and a depth of experience was etched in his face, lines of sadness and loss covered what must once have been laughter lines, and grief was evident in his eyes. She hoped that for Joe there could still be joy, dreams and possibilities. He deserved no less. Empathy flooded through her as he shared with her the recent events in his life.

‘Oh, that’s terrible for you, I’m so sorry! You must be devastated?’

‘Well, I can’t claim that we were close and it’s a bit of a long story, I wouldn’t want to bore you with all the details...’

‘It wouldn’t bore me at all and I’ve been told I’m a pretty good listener.’

‘Another time perhaps?’

‘Yes, another time.’ Hannah smiled.

‘How about you, Hannah, how are you managing?’

‘Rather like you I suppose, a day at a time. As you see I’m upright again and have become quite a whiz on crutches when the leg gets too much.’

‘Good for you, it can’t be easy. Is your husband not with you today?’ Joe looked around.

‘Ah, that’s another story, we’ve split up.’

‘Oh, Hannah, I’m sorry, and here’s me going on about my woes!’

‘Don’t worry, at least he hasn’t died.’

‘It wasn’t because of the accident was it, your leg, I mean?’

‘No, apparently there was someone else, a younger woman and they’ve recently had a baby. As always I was the last to know, or even suspect.’ Hannah’s empty laugh at her own words didn’t hide the hurt that was evident in her eyes.

‘That must be difficult. Can I be so presumptuous as to go on record as saying he must be a total fool?’ Joe looked earnestly at Hannah and her eyes began to fill with tears. ‘Now I’ve upset you, sorry again! Can I get you another cup of tea? I think I’d like one now.’

‘Good idea.’ Hannah sniffed.

As Joe left her for a few moments, she blew her nose and took a few deep breaths. Perhaps they should stick to talking about the weather, it was much safer, but she liked Joe, he’d been through so much and it appeared to give them a bond. Hannah wondered if there really would be ‘another time’ and found herself hoping that there would.

Joe had begun to notice an improvement in his general health of late which he had no hesitation in attributing to giving up smoking. It hadn’t been an easy journey, but it was now over four months since he’d smoked his last cigarette. He’d lost weight too, not consciously and not perhaps in the best of ways, sometimes it was simply because he forgot to eat, but he felt better for it and knew that Alison would be proud of him.

Attending a social event without Alison still felt strange to Joe, but the project at Timmy’s Farm was so fascinating that he soon became absorbed in all that was going on around him. Meeting Hannah Graham again was an unexpected pleasure too; she was so easy to talk to, straightforward and honest, qualities which he’d always admired in a person. They talked in a general manner, both in awe of the Joneses’ hard work, and on a deeper level too, as Joe shared some of the details of his brother’s death, and Hannah told him that she and her husband were now separated.

She also shared the better news that she’d regained her memories of the accident, and it was so obvious to Joe that a weight had been lifted from her by the realisation that she hadn’t been to blame. Joe assured her again, as he had at the hospital, of his certainty that there’d been nothing that she or anyone else could have done that day. Still, he could understand her relief and he would probably have felt much the same himself in Hannah’s situation.