Стюарт Вудс - Barely Legal

Herbie was still wobbly on his feet, but between them, Fred and Stone were able to muscle him through the door of Stone’s Turtle Bay town house.

Joan looked up from her desk as they came in. “Oh, my,” she said. “Do I take it we’re going to have company?”

“Herbie’s going to be staying with us for a while,” Stone said. “His apartment’s a crime scene, and he wouldn’t be comfortable there anyway. You want to help Fred set him up in the guest room? I need to call Dino.”

Dino was eager for an update. “You get him out of there?”

“No problem. Well, actually one problem. The ADA is Dierdre Monahan.”

“Ouch.”

“Indeed.”

“How’s Herbie?”

“Distraught. He’s still pretty out of it. When they read him his rights, it’s the first he’d heard that Yvette was dead. He’s still not sure he didn’t do it.”

“You mean he got taken in by the evidence, just like the cops?”

“No, I mean he’s so drunk or drugged or whatever he doesn’t remember anything. What about the crime scene? Is there anything that doesn’t point to Herbie?”

“There’s some evidence of a robbery. I’m running it down.”

“Do that. It would be nice to have something to tell him when he wakes up.”

Stone was just getting off the phone with Dino when Joan came downstairs.

“He’s out like a light. We gave him a pair of your pajamas and put him to bed. He was out before his head hit the pillow.”

“There may be people looking for Herbie. If anyone calls, there’s no need to bother him, just take a message.”

“Of course,” Joan said.

“There’s no reason to say where he is.”

“Of course not.”

“Some of these callers may be official.”

“I understand.”

“I don’t want you to lie to the police.”

“What if they ask me where he is?”

“You don’t know.”

“But I do know.”

“When we’re done here I’m going to have Fred take Herbie to a safe house where he can hide out. Or I might not. I haven’t decided yet. You won’t know which. So if anybody asks if you know where Herbie is, you can honestly say that you don’t.”

“What can I tell them?”

“I’m Herbie’s attorney. You can always get a message to him through me.”

“What if they want to talk to you?”

“Put them on hold and call me.”

“In other words, standard procedure. Okay, I got it.” Joan started out. “Do you want me to have Fred get the car?”

“No.”

Mario Payday acted as if the postman had mislaid the mail. “This is most distressing.”

“I know,” Carlo said.

“He’s not at court, and he isn’t home.”

“No, and he’s not in jail. He’s been released.”

“So what is the point of putting pressure on an individual if the person in question can’t be found? Kind of a waste of effort if you ask me.”

“There’s a bench warrant out for his arrest.”

“I thought he was arrested.”

“That was for murder. This is for failure to appear in court.”

“The gentleman has no end of trouble. Which does not mean I intend to stand at the back of the line.”

“Trust me, we’re on it. The minute he surfaces, he’s yours.”

“You just can’t tell me when that will be. Well, I suppose it was too much to ask.” Mario waggled his cigar, blew a smoke ring. “I’m famished. Let’s see how things look after lunch.”

Judge Buckingham surveyed the gathering in his chambers with displeasure. “The defense attorney has been arrested?” he said incredulously.

“Yes, Your Honor,” ADA Grover said. “When the officers attempted to serve the bench warrant, they discovered that Mr. Fisher was already under arrest.”

“For murder?”

“That appears to be the case. We’re still trying to sort it out, but apparently Mr. Fisher was found with a dead woman and the murder weapon in his hand.”

“I hardly think this is the place to get into the merits of that case,” Stone Barrington said.

“And who are you again?” Judge Buckingham said.

“Stone Barrington, Your Honor. Attorney for Mr. Fisher, appearing in his stead. I think you can understand why he is unable to be in court this afternoon.”

“You are using a murder arrest as an excuse for his failure to appear in court?”

“It beats ‘the dog ate my homework.’”

“So where does that leave us?”

“I believe we are entitled to a mistrial, Your Honor.”

ADA Grover nearly gagged. “A mistrial? Because the defense attorney killed someone?”

“Well, the defendant can hardly get a fair trial under the circumstances. Jurors are apt to hold Mr. Fisher’s arrest against him.”

“What do you propose, Mr. Barrington?”

“If Mr. Barrington would care to take over as defense attorney, we would have no objections,” ADA Grover said.

“I’m sure you wouldn’t, since I’m totally unprepared and know absolutely nothing about the case. But if you adjourn until tomorrow, I suspect Herb will be able to return.”

“What are we going to tell the jury?”

Stone considered. “To say the attorney’s been arrested would be highly prejudicial. There’s no way to continue after that.”

“What do you want to tell them?”

“Court’s adjourned until tomorrow. What more do they need to know? They’ll grumble a bit and go home.”

“And what’s going to happen tomorrow morning?”

“I’m sure Mr. Fisher’s misunderstanding will be straightened out and he’ll be back on the case.”

“Misunderstanding?” ADA Grover said sarcastically.

Judge Buckingham said, “All right. I’ll adjourn court until ten o’clock tomorrow morning, at which time Mr. Fisher better be here. If he’s not, he better be in jail. If he’s not, he soon will be.”

Joan stuck her head in the door. “There’s a Detective Wallace calling.”

“What does he want?”

“Herb Fisher.”

“What did you tell him?”

“I told him I’d take a message. That didn’t seem to thrill him, so we went through the rest of the dance. Then he asked to speak to you.”

“Then I better speak to him. Thanks, Joan.” Stone picked up the phone. “Stone Barrington. May I help you?”

“This is Detective Sergeant Wallace of the NYPD. I’m looking for Herb Fisher.”

“Well, you’ve come to the right place. I’m Mr. Fisher’s attorney.”

“Where is Mr. Fisher?”

“I’m sure I couldn’t tell you.”

“I have a bench warrant for Mr. Fisher.”

“Have you served it?”

“No.”

“Then it isn’t binding. Come back when you’ve served it.”

“Don’t think you can give me the runaround, Mr. Barrington, just because you’re friends with the commissioner. Impeding an officer of the law in the course of carrying out his duty is a criminal offense. It carries a jail sentence.”

“I’ll bear that in mind. If you’re done threatening me, I’d like to get back to business. I am rather busy at the moment.”

“I’m telling you that I have reason to believe that the object of the bench warrant, Herbert Fisher, is on your premises.”

“What is the reason for that belief?”

“Well, he’s not in his own apartment.”

“Oh? He’s not there so he must be here? I’d love to get you on the stand, Sergeant.”

Stone hung up and buzzed Joan. “If Detective Sergeant Wallace should call back, I’m not in.”

“Got it. And Herbie’s up.”

“Oh?”

“He’s awake, anyway. Sitting up in bed. He’s still groggy. Whatever he was on had quite a kick.”