Джанет Иванович - Twisted Twenty-Six

“You hired the god of Thunder,” Grandma said. “What did you expect?”

“I know,” Bernie said. “It was a bad choice.”

“You should have hired a less macho god.”

“He was the only one who needed money,” Bernie said. “Zeus was a big spender.”

“And then you killed him?” I asked.

“I had to. He was in a panic. He was going to turn himself in. He would have ruined everything.”

“Bernie,” I said. “How could you do that? You aren’t a killer.”

“I am now,” Bernie said. “And it was surprisingly easy. BANG . Ironic, right? All those years when Jimmy would have nothing to do with me. I wasn’t fit to be in the mob. I wasn’t good enough for them. I know what everyone said about me. Bernard isn’t too bright. Bernard isn’t Italian. His relatives are from one of those inferior eastern European countries. Tea drinkers.” Bernie closed the blade on his knife and put it back in his pocket. “And it turns out I can kill without remorse. Go figure.”

“So, what is this about?” I asked. “Getting even?”

“It’s about getting even and about the chance to start my life over. Someplace far, far away.”

“Why do you want to start it over? You have a good life. A good job. A loving wife.”

“I have a shit job. I hate my job. My father left the company to my brother. He’s two years younger than I am. The company should have been mine. Not that I wanted it. The Concrete Plant. Do you know what we do? We pour concrete into molds and sell the blocks.”

“What would you rather do?” I asked him.

“As it turns out, I’d rather kill people.”

“That’s not a step up from concrete,” Grandma said.

“Anyway, as it happens, I’m brilliant,” Bernie said. “While the La-Z-Boys are going nuts because they can’t find the keys, I found a way to benefit from their stupidity. I don’t know what the keys look like. Don’t care. I don’t know what they open. Don’t care. For that matter, I don’t know if Grandma here is going to be any help to them. Don’t care. What I do know is that they think Grandma has the sacred keys. And they’re willing to pay big bucks for Grandma. Grandma is my ticket out of the Concrete Plant. Even Julius Roman thought I was a genius. He approached me at the Bonino viewing. Said he met a business associate in the alley and was on his way home when he saw me dump Lucca. Said he figured I was going to extort money from the La-Z-Boys, and he wanted in on it.”

“So you killed him?”

“I didn’t need his help, and I wasn’t in a mood to share.”

“What about Jeanine?” I asked.

“Jeanine will be fine. She can cross the driveway and drink wine with her dim-witted mother every night. She can go to Mass and talk to God or Jesus or Mary. Jeanine has lots of friends. The house is paid for. All she has to do is keep up with the taxes and cut the grass once in a while.”

“What happens if they won’t pay your price for Grandma?”

“We’ve already agreed on a price. We just have to work out the swap. Granny for a big bag of money.”

“And me?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” Bernie said. “If they don’t want you, I guess I’ll kill you. That might be better for you anyway since I’m told Lou Salgusta is ready to fire up his tools of persuasion.”

“You’re a little nutty,” Grandma said.

“Yeah,” Bernie said. “And I’m tired. It’s been a long day. I’ll see you girls in the morning.”

We watched him leave, dragging the recycling container behind him. The door clicked closed and locked.

“This is a real bummer,” Grandma said.

I looked at the chain around my ankle. “There has to be a way out of here.”

I walked into the bathroom. Toilet and sink. The chains were padlocked around the sink plumbing. I went back to Grandma.

“I don’t suppose you have a nail file.”

“No. I don’t have a stick of dynamite, either.”

“How did he get you to go with him?”

“He had a kitten. He said he wanted to take it to the shelter, and he asked me if I could hold it for him. And then when I got in the car with the little cutie, he zapped me. How about you? Did you fall for the kitten thing?”

“Yep.”

“It was a really cute kitten,” Grandma said. “I keep wondering what happened to it.”

“It never occurred to me that it might be Bernie,” I said. “I thought it was Barbara.”

I looked around. Sacks of sand were stacked against one wall. A jumble of equipment was against another wall. A band saw. A leaf blower. Coils of hoses. Machinery parts that were alien to me. A long folding table and a single folding chair. A shop vac.

“Where are we?” I asked Grandma.

“I don’t know for sure. He had a sack over my head, and my hands were handcuffed when he brought me here. You can’t hear any sounds from outside. From the way he would come in and out I thought this must be part of the Concrete Plant. Like he would work some and then come check on me, even though it was a Saturday. This room looks industrial.”

I agreed with Grandma. The room looked industrial. It seemed to be some sort of storeroom.

“Are you scared?” I asked Grandma.

“Sure, I’m scared. Aren’t you scared?”

“Yes, and I’d be even more scared if I wasn’t so tired.”

“I don’t like being scared,” Grandma said. “It makes my stomach feel squishy. I always thought your job sounded so great. Putting your life on the line for justice. And going into all kinds of dangerous situations. But now that I’m in a dangerous situation I’m thinking it isn’t anything I want to do again. I can see why you don’t always like your job.”

It isn’t the danger that I hate, I thought. It’s the ick .

It was late, and the cot was big enough for only one person. I persuaded Grandma to lie down on the cot, and I stretched out on the floor. It wasn’t comfortable, but I was exhausted, and for the next several hours I slipped in and out of sleep.

Bernie showed up again at eight o’clock. He had a couple bags of breakfast sandwiches and two containers of coffee. He slid the sandwiches over to us and placed the coffee within reach, making sure he didn’t get too close to me.

“We’re making the swap this morning,” he said. “It’s going to take place here.”

“Where is here?” I asked him.

“We’re at the plant. This is a storage facility that’s never used. It’s behind the truck garages. Sometimes I come here when I want to get away from everyone and take a nap or watch a ball game. I get good reception on my iPad in here. I’m the only one with a key, and no one would come here anyway.”

I ate half a sandwich and sipped my coffee.

“The police will track you down, and you’ll spend the rest of your life in jail,” I said to Bernie.

“They’ll never find me. The instant I get my money I’m gone.”

A half hour later, Charlie Shine and Lou Salgusta arrived. They were each carrying two suitcases.

“This is stupid,” Shine said to Bernie. “Nobody demands cash in a suitcase anymore. We wire money now. Do you know how hard it was to get this much cash? We had guys working all night.”

“Leave the suitcases by the door,” Bernie said. “I’ll take them from here.”

Shine looked down the room at Grandma and me. “What’s with this? We were supposed to get Jimmy’s old lady. I’m not paying for a second hostage.”

“She’s a freebie,” Bernie said. “If you don’t want her, I’ll take her with me and get rid of her.”

“I like it,” Salgusta said. “Two is always better. We’ll keep her.”

Bernie took a suitcase in each hand and staggered a little under the weight. He walked out of the building, Shine followed him, and there were two gunshots.