Даниэла Стил - Neighbors

They heard him practicing after that, and were surprised how fast the time went, as they sat there talking. It was two hours later when she glanced at her watch, and looked regretful.

“I’d better get back. Joel had a late meeting tonight. He’ll be home by now. He likes me to be home when he gets there.” He wasn’t unreasonable or overly possessive, but she was there for a reason and he never let her forget it. He lived with her because he enjoyed her company, and her body. He usually made love to her as soon as he walked in the door at night. She felt differently about it now than she had in the beginning. At first it had flattered her, and now she realized it was more about his needs than any deep feelings he had for her. She knew he stayed with women for about two years, and she was nearing her expiration date.

He had opened new horizons to her, and had been very generous. He made up for the salary she had lost when he asked her to give up her job. He wanted her to be fully available to him, and he didn’t want to be sleeping with one of his employees, or not for long anyway, so he didn’t want her to work for him.

Joel had always told her that marriage wasn’t an option, and he wasn’t a “long-term guy,” as he put it. He had learned that lesson once, and been burned. Ever since his divorce, he liked to “keep things fresh,” and move on before the relationship got too demanding or maudlin or boring. She wasn’t with him for the money, it had been exciting and fun to be with him, he was handsome and sexy, and she liked the difference in their ages. He was a grown-up, and not some young kid who would jerk her around. He never did, and lived up to his promises. But in the past year she had begun to feel like a body he thought he had bought and paid for. He didn’t want anything too exotic, but he acted like he owned her. And there was always the unspoken message that she was disposable.

She had thought of leaving him, but it was never the right time. They were always about to go on a fantastic trip, or he was in the middle of a complicated deal and she didn’t think it was fair to leave him then, or it was a holiday like his birthday or Christmas. And what would she do when she left him? She lived in a gorgeous house with him, hadn’t worked for two years, which would be hard to explain. He had promised her a reference saying that she had been his personal assistant when they separated, but people knew about their arrangement. She met all his business contacts when there were social aspects involved, and she held up her end of the deal too. She looked fantastic, and every man was envious of him. She supported Joel in everything he did, she appreciated everything he did for her, and she had an easy, sunny disposition. He had even said to her more than once that if he was still a marrying man, he would marry her, but he wasn’t.

He preferred his bachelor life with a revolving door of women like her. He knew that if he married her, he would always feel that he had missed something, and eventually his own curiosity would get the best of him, and he would cheat on her, and then it would all come tumbling down around his ears again, and he’d be giving her a house and paying spousal support and they’d end up hating each other, just like his parents and his ex-wife. He never wanted to go through that again. In his mind, it ruined everything. Ava didn’t think he cheated on her, but she didn’t know for sure. If he did, he did it carefully. She thought she loved him at first, but now she wasn’t sure. It was an arrangement that worked for both of them, or had. But at twenty-nine, she was coming to a fork in the road. She wanted marriage and babies one day, and a home of her own.

Joel wasn’t the man she wanted to be with forever, and now she knew it more than ever. From the moment she’d met Peter, her heart had been engaged. He was ten years younger than Joel, but he seemed like a boy in comparison. His dream was to be a successful novelist one day, and in the meantime, he eked a living out of mediocre jobs. Peter fully realized that his writing wasn’t going to be lucrative for several years, or maybe ever. He could barely support himself now, and couldn’t have supported her, and she didn’t care. She wanted to be with him every moment of the day. She dreamed of him at night, and she could hardly breathe when he walked into the room. She thought Peter was the most beautiful, sexiest man she’d ever seen. The only thing she didn’t know was what they could do about it. He needed the job with Arthur so he could continue to write, but he’d made almost no money on his writing so far, except some freelance articles in obscure literary magazines. His real career hadn’t even begun yet, and hers as a model had been on hold for almost two years, and she wasn’t a graphic designer yet. They had some lean years ahead of them if they tried to make a life of it.

Neither of them had an apartment. He lived in a tiny room in Arthur’s attic. They had talked about it, and Peter was sure that Arthur wouldn’t let her live there with him. She didn’t know whether to wait until Joel ended their relationship sometime in the next year, which seemed inevitable, or to throw caution to the winds, leave him, have Peter leave his safe haven with Arthur, find an apartment together and try to get better jobs than they’d both had previously. Peter felt an allegiance to Arthur now. He really liked him and didn’t want to let him down. When she’d gotten involved with Joel, she was twenty-seven, but two years later, she didn’t want to make a mistake.

Peter kissed her, and held her tight afterward. He had tears in his eyes when he whispered to her, “What are we going to do? I hate your going back to him.” They hadn’t made love at Meredith’s, because she didn’t want to sleep with two men at the same time. She was in love with Peter, but she lived with Joel. It had been bearable and even fun most of the time until the earthquake, but since then, everything had changed. It worked when she saw Peter every day, but every night in bed with Joel, she ached for Peter and fantasized about him. Now she couldn’t bear to be away from him, two houses down on the same street. And he was going crazy, thinking about her. “Maybe I should give Arthur notice,” he said miserably. He had come to love him almost as a father, and he knew Arthur needed him, or someone who really cared about him, to make his life easier. But he wanted to be with Ava. He could see himself marrying her one day, if another guy with a Ferrari didn’t see her first.

“We’ll figure it out,” she said, trying to calm him. They had known each other for a month, and it already felt like a lifetime to both of them. He hated her being with Joel, but he was well aware that materially he had nothing to offer her. He was literally a starving writer, living in a garret. It was picturesque in a novel, but not in real life.

He walked her down the stairs, and she left a few minutes later, after they lingered for a few more minutes. He walked up the stairs to Arthur’s study to check on him. Arthur was reading some papers in Braille at his desk, and looked up when he heard Peter walk into the room. He had intensely acute hearing, despite his age, which helped him compensate for his blindness. He joked about it at times, and said thank God he wasn’t Beethoven, who was deaf. In some ways it was easier since he had been sighted as a young person, so he knew what things looked like.

“Everything all right?” Peter asked when he checked on him. Arthur could hear the sadness in his voice, despite the cheerful tone he used to cover it. He knew that he was troubled, and he could guess why, as he had said to Meredith.

“Come in, son,” he invited him to come in and sit down. “I’m fine, but what about you? What’s happening with you two?” They both knew he meant Ava. It was the only subject on Peter’s mind at the moment, and superseded even his unfinished novel. He had figured out the ending since he’d met her, and had told her about it, but hadn’t written it yet.