Алекс Михаэлидес - The Silent Patient

Yuri shook his head. “I don’t smoke. Not cigarettes, anyway.” He laughed. “You look like you need a drink. Come on, I’ll buy you a pint.”

I hesitated. My instinct was to refuse—I had never been one for socializing with work colleagues. And I doubted Yuri and I had much in common. But he probably knew Alicia better than anyone else at the Grove—and his insights might prove useful.

“Sure,” I said. “Why not?”

We went to a pub near the station, the Slaughtered Lamb. Dark and dingy, it had seen better days; so had the old men dozing over their half-finished pints. Yuri got us a couple of beers, and we sat at a table at the back.

Yuri took a long swig of beer and wiped his mouth. “Well? Tell me about Alicia.”

“Alicia?”

“How did you find her?”

“I’m not sure I did find her.”

Yuri gave me a quizzical look, then smiled. “She doesn’t want to be found? Yeah, it’s true. She’s hiding.”

“You’re close to her. I can see that.”

“I take special care of her. No one knows her like I do, not even Professor Diomedes.”

His voice had a boastful note. It annoyed me for some reason—I wondered how well he really knew her, or if he was just bragging.

“What do you make of her silence? What do you think it means?”

Yuri shrugged. “I guess it means she’s not ready to talk. She’ll talk when she’s ready.”

“Ready for what?”

“Ready for the truth, my friend.”

“And what is that?”

Yuri cocked his head to one side slightly, studying me. The question that came out of his mouth surprised me.

“Are you married, Theo?”

I nodded. “I am, yes.”

“Yeah, I thought so. I was married once too. We moved here from Latvia. But she didn’t fit in like I did. She didn’t make an effort, you know, she didn’t learn English. Anyway, it wasn’t … I wasn’t happy—but I was in denial, lying to myself.…” He drained his drink and completed his sentence. “Until I fell in love.”

“Presumably you don’t mean with your wife?”

Yuri laughed and shook his head. “No. A woman who lived near me. A very beautiful woman. It was love at first sight. I saw her on the street. It took me a long time to get the courage to talk her. I used to follow her.… I’d watch her sometimes, without her knowing. I’d stand outside her house and look, hoping she would appear at the window.” He laughed.

This story was starting to make me feel uncomfortable. I finished my beer and glanced at my watch, hoping Yuri would take the hint, but he didn’t.

“One day I tried speaking to her. But she wasn’t interested in me. I tried a few times, but she told me to stop pestering her.”

I didn’t blame her, I thought. I was about to make my excuses, but Yuri kept talking.

“It was very hard to accept. I was sure we were meant to be together. She broke my heart. I got very angry with her. Very mad.”

“And what happened?” I was curious despite myself.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? You stayed with your wife?”

Yuri shook his head. “No. It was over with her. But it took falling for this woman for me to admit it … to face the truth about me and my wife. Sometimes it takes courage, you know, and a long time, to be honest.”

“I see. And you think Alicia’s not ready to face the truth about her marriage? Is that what you’re saying? You may well be right.”

Yuri shrugged. “And now I’m engaged to a nice girl from Hungary. She works in a spa. She speaks good English. We’re a good match. We have a good time.”

I nodded and checked my watch again. I picked up my coat. “I have to go. I’m late to meet my wife.”

“Okay, no problem … What’s her name? Your wife?”

For some reason, I didn’t want to tell him. I didn’t want Yuri to know anything about her. But that was stupid.

“Kathryn. Her name is Kathryn. But I call her Kathy.”

Yuri gave me an odd smile. “Let me give you some advice. Go home to your wife. Go home to Kathy, who loves you.… And leave Alicia behind.”

CHAPTER TEN

I WENT TO MEET KATHY at the National Theatre café on the South Bank, where the performers would often congregate after rehearsal. She was sitting at the back of the café with a couple of fellow actresses, deep in conversation. They looked up at me as I approached.

“Are your ears burning, darling?” Kathy said as she kissed me.

“Should they be?”

“I’m telling the girls all about you.”

“Ah. Should I leave?”

“Don’t be silly. Sit down—it’s perfect timing. I’ve just got to how we met.”

I sat down, and Kathy continued her story. It was a story she enjoyed telling. She occasionally glanced in my direction and smiled, as if to include me—but the gesture was perfunctory, for this was her tale, not mine.

“I was sitting at a bar when he finally showed up. At last, when I’d given up hope of ever finding him—in he walked, the man of my dreams. Better late than never. I thought I was going to be married by the time I was twenty-five, you know? By thirty, I was going to have two kids, small dog, big mortgage. But here I was, thirty-three-ish, and things hadn’t quite gone to plan.” Kathy said this with an arch smile and winked at the girls.

“Anyway I was seeing this Australian guy called Daniel. But he didn’t want to get married or have kids anytime soon, so I knew I was wasting my time. And we were out one night when suddenly it happened—Mr. Right walked in.” Kathy looked at me and smiled and rolled her eyes. “With his girlfriend .”

This part of the story needed careful handling to retain her audience’s sympathy. Kathy and I were both dating other people when we met. Double infidelity isn’t the most attractive or auspicious start to a relationship, particularly as we were introduced to each other by our then partners. They knew each other for some reason, I can’t remember the precise details—Marianne had once gone out with Daniel’s flatmate possibly, or the other way around. I don’t remember exactly how we were introduced, but I do remember the first moment I saw Kathy. It was like an electric shock. I remember her long black hair, piercing green eyes, her mouth—she was beautiful, exquisite. An angel.

At this point in telling the tale, Kathy paused and smiled and reached for my hand. “Remember, Theo? How we got talking? You said you were training to be a shrink. And I said I was nuts—so it was a match made in heaven.”

This got a big laugh from the girls. Kathy laughed too and glanced at me sincerely, anxiously, her eyes searching mine. “No, but … darling … seriously, it was love at first sight. Wasn’t it?”

This was my cue. I nodded and kissed her cheek. “Of course it was. True love.”

This received a look of approval from her friends. But I wasn’t performing. She was right, it was love at first sight—well, lust anyway. Even though I was with Marianne that night, I couldn’t keep my eyes off Kathy. I watched her from a distance, talking animatedly to Daniel—and then I saw her lips mouth, Fuck you . They were arguing. It looked heated. Daniel turned and walked out.

“You’re being quiet,” Marianne said. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Let’s go home, then. I’m tired.”

“Not yet.” I was only half listening. “Let’s have another drink.”

“I want to go now.”

“Then go.”

Marianne shot me a hurt look, then grabbed her jacket and walked out. I knew there’d be a row the next day, but I didn’t care.

I made my way over to Kathy at the bar. “Is Daniel coming back?”

“No. How about Marianne?”

I shook my head. “No. Would you like another drink?”