Lisa Gardner: Hide

"The way you smiled at me, Amy. The way you gripped my finger in your pudgy little fist. You were my family. You were the one person who would always love me, who would never leave. And I was so happy. Until the day I showed up and you were gone. Your whole family. Vanished."

"Bella is hurt," I pleaded. "Please."

"It was a terrible time. I knew, of course, that you never would've left me by choice. Obviously your father had made you do it." Ben took my hand, stroked my wrist with his blood-splattered fingers. "So I started asking around. An entire family can't just disappear. Everyone leaves some kind of trace. But no one could tell me anything. Then it came to me. My brother would need a job to support his family. Who could help get him a job? His former employer, of course. So I broke into Dr. Badington's house. I found his wife."

"What?"

"I came by in the afternoon. Naturally, Mrs. Badington refused to speak at first, but by the time I was done with her cat, she told me plenty. About your father's new position at MIT. A house in Arlington. Better yet, she never related my visit to anyone. The kinds of things I did to her, after all, are not the things you mention in polite society. Plus I promised that if she ever said a word, I'd return and do the exact same things to her husband."

"Oh my God…"

"I set out for Massachusetts. I was going to see you that very night. But it was late, I got lost and the craziest thing happened. I got carjacked. Wrong place, wrong time, with four big brothers who beat the shit out of me. Then they took my clothes and they… And then there was darkness. For such a long time.

"Bit by bit, I came around. I relearned how to eat, dress myself, brush my teeth. I spoke to very nice doctors who told me my life had gotten off to the wrong start but now was my second chance. I could be whoever I wanted to be, they said. I could reinvent myself.

"And for a while, I tried. It seemed like a nice idea. I could be Benji, whose father was a CIA operative and not just some drunken asshole who one day murdered his own wife before blowing out his brains. I liked being Benji. I really did.

"But I was so lonely, Amy. You must understand what it's like. To have no family. To have no one ever call you by your real name. To have no one who knows the whole you, the real you, and not just the façade all of us must wear in public. It's no way to live."

"Stop it," I whispered, tugging at my hand again. "Stop it, stop it." But he wouldn't shut up. He wouldn't stop speaking, my father's voice, my own thoughts, wiggling like snakes into my brain.

"I found the culvert one day when I was walking the grounds. It intrigued me enough to make it my own little home away from home. I was doing well by then, still living in the institute but enrolled in a nearby school. The culvert became a chamber, the chamber my study hall, and then, one day…

"I saw her. Walking home from school. I saw her and I could tell from the look on her face that she saw me, too. She liked me, she wanted to be with me. She was the one who would never leave."

"Shhhhh," I tried again, "Shh, shh, shh. You're crazy I hate you. My parents hated you. I wish you were dead."

"At the last minute, she changed her mind. She fought me. She screamed. So I had to… It was over very fast, and afterward I was sad. It wasn't how I wanted things to be. You must believe me, Amy But then it occurred to me. I could keep her. I knew exactly the place. And she would never leave me then."

" You are sick !" I pulled hard at my hand one last time, finally got it away from him. He didn't seem concerned.

"I tried again," he said matter-of-factly. "And again and again and again. Each time the relationships started with such promise, then quickly soured. Until one day I understood. I didn't want any of those stupid, useless girls. I wanted you . And then I remembered what Mrs. Badington said. And I found you again.

"My Amy, my precious, precious Amy. We came so close that time. I took things slower, starting off with little gifts to gain your trust. The smile on your face as you opened each box, discovered each treasure. It was just how I'd imagined it to be. It was just what I wanted it to be. You were going to be mine."

He stopped, sighed, paused. I nearly wept in relief.

But he wasn't done yet. How could he be done, when we both knew the worst was yet to come?

"Roger saw me. I thought I was being clever, but, oh, big brothers. They have a way of knowing what little brothers are up to. And he knew Of course he knew. I realized I'd have to move quickly. Except next thing I knew, cops had found my attic hidey-hole. And instead of sweeping you away, I was running from the law. By the time I regrouped, it was over. The house was there, but nobody was home.

"Roger," he said flatly, "had always been one smart son of a bitch. Naturally I made him pay."

Ben's hand had come up. He was rubbing his scar almost thoughtlessly. A nervous habit meant to soothe? Or reminder of a memory that still burned?

"You kidnapped Dori," I murmured.

"Had to," he said with a shrug. "Needed someone. Didn't want to be alone. And she'd stolen your locket. I couldn't let her do that."

"She didn't take the locket, you bastard. I gave it to her. She was my friend, and I shared with her because that's what friends do. You're terrible, you're horrible, and I will never be with you. Your touch makes me sick!"

"Oh, Amy" He sighed again. "You don't need to be jealous. Dori wasn't who I really wanted. She was merely a means to an end. I took her and Roger came back to me."

I blinked wildly in shock. "You saw my father again? In Arlington?"

"Roger came home. Just like I knew he must. Once, a very long time ago, Roger loved me. He would hide with me in the closet and hold my hand while our parents yelled. 'It's okay' he'd tell me. 'I won't let anything happen to you. I'll keep you safe.' Then one night, our father walked into the kitchen, found our mother standing there, and shot her three times in the chest. Boom, boom, boom . He turned, spotted me next. He raised the gun. I knew he was going to fire. Except Roger stopped him. Roger told him to put the gun down. Roger told him if he really wanted to kill someone, the least he could do was kill himself.

"And our father did exactly that. The dumbfuck pressed the muzzle against his temple and pulled the trigger. Bye-bye, Daddy Hello, boarding school.

"Except in boarding school, Roger disappeared. He had his own classes, his own friends, his own life. He left me. Just like that.

"So I waited in the house in Arlington. Because I knew then what I had always known. That Roger would come back. That it would be just him and me again. With a gun."

"You tried to kill my father!"

Ben looked at me. He shook his head sadly, touched his scar. "Oh no, Amy Your father, my dear brother, tried to kill me."

HOME STRETCH, BOBBY and D.D. came jogging up Hanover, dodging pedestrians, ignoring honking taxis. Dusk was falling, the street growing crowded as eateries opened their doors for the night. Bobby and D.D. weaved around teenagers yakking on cell phones, mothers pushing strollers, locals walking dogs.

D.D. had an easy rhythm. Bobby was starting to flag. No doubt about it: Once this case was done, he was getting his sorry ass back to the gym.

Still no word from Annabelle.

He used his growing panic to power his stride.

And he ran.

I DIDN'T BELIEVE him. My father with a gun? Even Mr. Petracelli had said my father couldn't stand firearms. Hearing about the night with his parents, I could certainly understand why.

But apparently, even for my liberal-minded father, Dori's abduction had been the final straw. Somehow, he'd gotten himself a gun. And then he'd caught a red-eye back to Boston to track down his brother.