Lisa Gardner - Alone

Nathan already knew how a stethoscope worked. His gaze flew immediately to Catherine, and she could see his growing panic. She did her best to give him a bolstering smile, though the same panic was already rising in her chest.

Nurse Brandi stepped into the space. Dr. Gerritsen, James, Maryanne, and Catherine disappeared back behind the curtain.

Dr. Gerritsen didn't waste any time.

"Judge Gagnon tells me that there is a custody issue with Nathan," the doctor said, looking Catherine straight in the eye.

"Judge Gagnon and his wife have filed for custody of Nathan," Catherine replied evenly. She was desperately eyeing the head of Pediatrics, trying to get a quick read on the man. Older. Wedding ring on his left hand. Happily married? Or bored, egotistical-ripe for the attentions of a young, beautiful widow? "He has concerns for the boy's safety," Dr. Gerritsen said. His tone was level. Serious. Very serious.

Catherine abandoned all notions of flirtation. She went instead for the concerned daughter-in-law, respectful and caring. She turned her head slightly and said in a low voice, as if she didn't want to upset her in-laws, "Judge Gagnon and his wife have recently lost their son. They are wonderful grandparents, but… they're not quite themselves right now, Dr. Gerritsen. Surely you understand how difficult this must be for them."

"We're sharp as tacks and you know it," James interjected harshly.

"Don't play us for doddering fools."

Dr. Gerritsen's gaze flickered to James and Maryanne, then back to Catherine. His expression was plainly perturbed.

"I don't like being put in the middle of these things."

"I never would have dreamed of getting you involved," Catherine assured him.

"According to Dr. Rocco's records, Nathan falls ill a lot." Dr. Gerritsen added pointedly, "And rather easily."

"Dr. Rocco always took excellent care of Nathan." Dr. Gerritsen gave her a dubious look. He obviously knew of her relationship with Tony and wasn't fooled.

"I don't think you should take the boy home," the head of Pediatrics announced.

Catherine's heart fell. She could feel the panic bubble up in her throat, even as James began to smile.

"Unfortunately," Dr. Gerritsen continued crisply, "I don't have any say in the matter."

"What?" James this time, clearly stunned.

"As of this moment, she's still Nathan's legal guardian." Dr. Gerritsen shrugged.

"I'm sorry, Judge Gagnon, but my hands are tied."

Maryanne started shaking her head, a woman suddenly coming awake only to find herself in the middle of a very bad dream.

"Exigent circumstances," James countered quickly.

"You felt there was an immediate and compelling threat to the boy, justifying sending him home with his grandparents."

"But I don't know that there's an immediate and compelling threat."

"The boy's health history. You yourself said it was suspicious!"

"He needs us," Maryanne said plaintively.

"We're all he has left."

Dr. Gerritsen flashed Maryanne a sympathetic look, before returning his attention to James.

"Suspicious, yes. Definitive, no." James was clearly furious now.

"She is a threat to that child!"

"If I was a threat to Nathan," Catherine interjected levelly, "why would I keep bringing him to the hospital for medical care?"

"Because it's what you do!" James barked.

"Using your own child to gain attention for yourself, so you can play the role of the tragic mother. I tried to warn Jimmy, I tried to tell him what you're doing. Harming your own son. It's disgusting!"

"But I don't need to play the role of the tragic mother anymore to get attention, do I, James?" Catherine looked her father-in-law in the eye.

"Now I'm the grieving widow."

James growled, an unexpected snarl of frustration and fury in the back of his throat. Catherine feared for a moment that the man might leap forward, that he might actually wrap his hands around her throat. That would be a change of pace. Jimmy had always been so sloppy with his rage. His father, on the other hand, was cold.

"James, darling?" Maryanne was whispering.

"Is she getting Nathan? You said it wouldn't happen. How can that happen?"

James put his arms around his shaking wife. He pressed her against him, comforting her with one hand, even as he continued to give Catherine a dark, angry stare.

"This isn't over," he said clearly.

"It is today."

Dr. Gerritsen had had enough of the family drama. The doctor was already gesturing Catherine back inside the curtained-off space.

"I'm sorry, Judge Gagnon, but there is nothing I can legally do to stop Mrs. Gagnon from signing out her son. If circumstances change, I'll be happy to help you. But until then…"

Dr. Gerritsen shrugged; Catherine ducked around his arm. She didn't bother to flash James a triumphant smile over her shoulder. She didn't dare look at Maryanne's grieving face.

She simply bundled Nathan up in his coat and got the hell out of there. Nathan was silent for the ride home. He sat in the back of the car, in his car seat, his right hand clutching the shoulder strap. Catherine thought there was something she should say. And then, for a while, she was simply as sad as Nathan that Prudence wasn't working today.

Pulling into a narrow parking space, she went around to get Nathan out of the back. The sun was shining, the afternoon surprisingly warm. She looked down the street and saw several of her neighbors out, walking kids, walking dogs. She wondered if it was strange that she didn't wave to her own neighbors. She wondered if it was stranger that none of them would've bothered to wave back. Nathan piled out of the car, awkward in his heavy wool coat and new cowboy boots. The coat, a gift from his grandparents, was three sizes too big for him. The cowboy boots, purchased from the baby section of Ralph Lauren, at least fit.

Nathan wouldn't look up. Not down the street. Not at their townhouse. He put his hand in Catherine's obediently enough, but as they got closer and closer to the front steps, his feet began to drag. He shuffled along halfheartedly, kicking at stray leaves.

Catherine glanced up at their front door. She thought of the lobby behind it, then the stairs leading up to their unit. She thought of the master bedroom, with its torn-up carpet, splattered walls, and hastily rearranged furniture. Suddenly, she didn't want to go up those stairs either. She wished, for both of their sakes, that they could simply run away.

"Nathan," she said quietly, "why don't we go to the park?" Nathan looked up at her. He nodded so vigorously, it made her smile even as her heart ached. They set off down the street.

The Public Garden was crowded. Young lovers, dog walkers, urban families with stir-crazy kids. Catherine and Nathan walked along the water, where the swan boats paddled in the summer. She bought popcorn from a vendor and they amused themselves feeding the milling ducks. Finally they found a park bench at the edge of a clearing, where children the same age as Nathan, but twice his size, ran and tumbled and laughed in the now waning sunlight.

Nathan didn't even try to join them. At the age of four, these were the lessons he'd already learned.

"Nathan?" Catherine said quietly.

"Now that you're home… some people are going to need to talk to you."

He looked up at her, his face so pale, she felt compelled to run her finger down his cheek. His skin was cool and dry, the face of a boy who spent too much time indoors.

"Do you remember Thursday night?" she asked softly.

"The bad night?"

He didn't say a word.

"Daddy had a gun, didn't he, Nathan?"

Slowly, Nathan nodded.

"We were fighting."

Nathan nodded again.

"Do you remember what we were fighting about?" Catherine was holding her breath. This was the wild card, of course. How much did a frightened four-year-old remember? How much did he understand?