Karin Slaughter - Faithless

The box was empty.

Lena had stayed around the potential crime scene until the last sample was taken. The box had practically disintegrated over time, the wood soaking into the ground. That the box was older than the first they had found was obvious, just as it was obvious that the box had been used for the same thing. Deep fingernail scratches gouged out the top pieces Jeffrey had pried away. Dark stains riddled the bottom. Someone had bled in there, shit in there, maybe died in there. When and why were just two more questions to add to the growing list. Thankfully, Jeffrey had finally accepted that they couldn’t continue looking for another box in the pitch dark. He had called off the search and told a crew of ten to show up again at daybreak.

Back at the station, Lena had washed her hands, not bothering to change into the spare outfit she kept in her locker, knowing nothing but a long, hot shower could wash away some of the distress she was feeling. Yet, when she came to the road that led into her neighborhood, she found herself downshifting the Celica, making an illegal U-turn to bypass her street. She unlatched her seat belt and drove with her knees while she shrugged off her jacket. The windows slid down with the touch of a button, and she turned off the noise coming from the radio, wondering how long it had been since she had a moment to herself like this. Ethan thought she was still at work. Nan was probably getting ready for bed and Lena was totally alone with nothing but her own thoughts to keep her company.

She drove through downtown again, slowing as she passed the diner, thinking about Sibyl, the last time she had seen her. Lena had screwed up so many things since then. There was a time when no matter what, she didn’t let her personal life interfere with her job. Being a cop was the one thing she was good at, the one thing Lena knew how to do. She had let her connection to Terri Stanley get in the way of her duties. Yet again, her emotions were jeopardizing the only thing in Lena ’s life that was a constant. What would Sibyl say about Lena now? How ashamed would her sister be at the kind of person Lena had become?

Main Street dead-ended at the entrance of the college, and Lena took a left into the children’s clinic, turning around and heading back out of town. She rolled up the windows as the chill got to her and found herself fiddling with the dials on the radio, trying to find something soft to keep her company. She glanced up as she passed the Stop-N-Go, and recognized the black Dodge Dart parked beside one of the gas pumps.

Without thinking, Lena did another U-turn, pulling parallel to the Dart. She got out of her car, looking into the market for Terri Stanley. She was inside, paying the guy behind the register, and even from this distance, Lena could almost smell the defeat on her. Shoulders slumped, eyes cast down. Lena suppressed the urge to thank God she’d happened to run into her.

The Celica’s gas tank was almost full, but Lena turned on the pump anyway, taking her time removing the gas cap and putting in the nozzle. By the first click of the pump, Terri had come out of the store. She was wearing a thin blue Members Only jacket, and she pushed the sleeves up to her elbows as she walked across the brightly lit filling station. Terri was obviously preoccupied as she walked to her car, and Lena cleared her throat several times before the woman noticed her.

“Oh,” Terri said, the same word she had uttered the first time she’d seen Lena at the police station.

“Hey.” Lena ’s smile felt awkward on her face. “I need to ask you-”

“Are you following me?” Terri looked around as if she was scared someone would see them together.

“I was just getting gas.” Lena took the nozzle out of the Celica, hoping Terri didn’t notice she’d put in less than half a gallon. “I need to talk to you.”

“Dale’s waiting for me,” she said, tugging down the sleeves of her jacket. Lena had seen something, though-something all too familiar. They both stood there for the longest minute of Lena ’s life, neither one knowing what to say.

“Terri…”

Her only answer was, “I need to go.”

Lena felt words sticking in her throat like molasses. She heard a high-pitched noise in her ear, almost like a siren warning her away. She asked, “Does he hit you?”

Terri looked down at the oil-stained concrete, ashamed. Lena knew that shame, but on Terri it brought out anger in Lena like she hadn’t known in a while.

“He hits you,” Lena said, narrowing the space between them as if she needed to be close to be heard. “Come here,” she said, grabbing Terri’s arm. The woman winced from pain as Lena yanked up the sleeve. A black bruise snaked up her arm.

Terri didn’t move away. “It’s not like that.”

“What’s it like?”

“You don’t understand.”

“The hell I don’t,” she said, tightening her grip. “Is that why you did it?” she demanded, anger sparking like a brush fire. “Is that why you were in Atlanta?”

Terri tried to squirm away. “Please let me go.”

Lena felt her rage becoming uncontrollable. “You’re scared of him,” she said. “That’s why you did it, you coward.”

“Please…”

“Please what?” Lena asked. “Please what?” Terri was crying in earnest now, trying so hard to pull away that she was almost on the ground. Lena let go, horrified when she saw a red mark on Terri’s wrist working its way below the bruise Dale had made. “Terri-”

“Leave me alone.”

“You don’t have to do this.”

She headed back to her car. “I’m going.”

“I’m sorry,” Lena said, following her.

“You sound like Dale.”

A knife in her stomach would have been easier. Still, Lena tried, “Please. Let me help you.”

“I don’t need your help,” she spat, yanking open the car door.

“Terri-”

“Leave me alone!” she screamed, slamming the door with a loud bang. She locked the door as if she was afraid Lena might pull her out of the car.

“Terri-” Lena tried again, but Terri had pulled away, tires burning rubber on the pavement, the hose from the gas pump stretching, then popping out of the Dart’s gas tank. Lena stepped back quickly as gas splattered onto the ground.

“Hey!” the attendant called. “What’s going on here?”

“Nothing,” she told him, picking up the nozzle and replacing it on the pump. She dug into her pocket and tossed two dollars at the young man, saying, “Here. Go back inside.” She climbed back into her car before he could yell anything else.

The Celica’s tires caught against the pavement, the car fishtailing as she pulled away. She didn’t realize she was speeding until she blew past a broken-down station wagon that had been parked on the side of the road for the last week. She forced her foot to back off on the accelerator, her heart still pounding in her chest. Terri had been terrified of Lena, looking at her like she was scared she’d be hurt. Maybe Lena would have hurt her. Maybe she would have turned violent, taking her rage out on that poor helpless woman just because she could. What the hell was wrong with her? Standing at the gas station, yelling at Terri, she had felt like she was yelling at herself. She was the coward. She was the one who was scared of what might be done to her if anyone found out.

The car had slowed to almost a crawl. She was on the outskirts of Heartsdale now, a good twenty minutes from home. The cemetery where Sibyl was buried was out this way, on a flat plain behind the Baptist church. After her sister had died, Lena had gone there at least once, sometimes twice a week, to visit her grave. Over time, she had cut down on her visits, then stopped going altogether. With a shock, Lena realized she hadn’t visited Sibyl in at least three months. She had been too busy, too wrapped up in doing her job and dealing with Ethan. Now, at the height of her shame, she could think of nothing more appropriate than going to the graveyard.