Greg Iles - Turning Angel

”What time is it, Ellen? Did you hear the verdict?“

She nods. ”That was two hours ago, Penn.“

”Oh. Were you in court?“

”No. I couldn’t watch. I wanted to be with Timmy.“ Ellen tries to force a smile, but the effort goes in vain. ”It’s very difficult to go out in public now. People just stare and point like I’m some circus animal. They don’t spare Timmy, either. The kids at school…they’re awful.“

”That’s what happens in these trials. I don’t blame you, Ellen. I know Drew missed you being in there for him, though.“

She gives me a mistrustful glance. ”Do you really think so?“

”I know it, no matter what’s happened between you. Today could mean the end of Drew’s life. And he’s spent most of that life with you.“

She blinks several times, and then tears begin streaming down her cheeks. ”How could they do that to him?“ She raises a shaking hand to wipe her face. ”He’s given so much to this town, to so many of those people. How could they believe Drew could do that?“

”I thought you believed it, too.“

Ellen seems not to have heard me. ”What am I supposed to do now? I have a son, Penn. What do I tell Timmy?“

”Try to explain things, I guess. Tim’s old enough to understand some of it.“

She shakes her head violently. ”No. He’s younger than you think. Emotionally, I mean.“

Ellen sits beside my bed, then stands again immediately. I can’t get a handle on her emotional state. Maybe she can’t either. As I study her face, her lips smeared with too much lipstick, it hits me that she might be deep into drug withdrawal, just like me. With Drew in jail and Kate dead, her sources for Lorcet have dried up.

”Did you come just to visit me?“ I ask. ”Or is there something I can do for you?“

She sucks in her lips and knits her brow. Then she shakes her head several times, as though having a silent conversation with herself.

”Ellen?“

”I want you to know something, Penn. I don’t…don’t know who else to tell.“

”You can tell me. Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s all right.“

”No, it’s not.“ Her red eyes burn into mine. ”I killed Kate, Penn.“

It takes a moment for the words to register. It’s as though Ellen said, ”I just arrived from the planet Tralfamadore.“ But she didn’t say that. She said, I killed Kate. And she meant it.

”Tell me what you’re talking about, Ellen. Are you speaking figuratively?“

”I’m afraid not. No, I killed her.“ She holds up her hands. ”I killed her with these…my own two hands.“

For a moment I wonder if I’m hallucinating. But Dad is giving me sedatives, not LSD. Then it hits me: Ellen is lying. She’s trying to save Drew’s life.

”How did you kill her, Ellen?“

”I choked her.“

”I thought you were with your sister when Kate died.“

She shakes her head again.

”Your sister lied to protect you?“

”Yes. Don’t blame Jackie, though.“

My pulse is returning to normal. Overcome with guilt about her past behavior in the marriage, Ellen is trying to save Drew by sacrificing herself. ”Why don’t you tell me what happened? Just sit down in that chair and let it out.“

She looks at the chair with disdain. ”I don’t need to sit. It’s simple really. The day it happened, I was supposed to be shopping with Jackie. But before I met her, I stopped by Drew’s office. I wanted to show him some paint samples I’d gotten from Sherwin-Williams, for the living room.“

”Did Drew know you were coming?“

”No. Anyway, when I got to his office, I happened to walk past his car. The Volvo. I saw a piece of paper taped to his window, and something made me stop. Probably because it didn’t look like an advertisement. It looked like a note. Like, ’I backed into your car by accident, here’s my phone number‘-that kind of thing.“ Confusion enters Ellen’s face. ”But it wasn’t. It was a note from Kate.“

Fresh anxiety wakes in my gut. ”What did it say?“

”’I need to see you. Meet me at the creek.‘ “

”That’s it?“

”Yes.“

”Did she sign it?“

”No.“

”How did you know it was from Kate?“

Ellen’s eyes crinkle at the corners. ”I didn’t really. Not for sure. But Kate worked for us two summers. I’d seen her handwriting lots of times. So when I saw the note, I think…on some level I recognized it.“

”Keep going. Tell me sequentially.“

”I drove back home and walked down to the creek.“

”Did you leave the note on Drew’s car?“

”No. I took it with me.“

”Why?“

Ellen touches her forefinger to her chin and taps it softly. ”I don’t know.“

”Go on.“

”I took the path I used to take when I walked Henry.“ Henry was their black Lab, now dead. ”There’s only a couple down there anyway. I wasn’t sure I was headed to the right spot, and yet…it was like the handwriting. I had the same instinct. If Kate had written the note, then I was going the right way.“

”I understand.“

”I walked down to this place about halfway between our two neighborhoods.“ Ellen’s gaze drops, and she speaks like someone under hypnosis. ”She was sitting on a log when I saw her. She looked upset. When I was about thirty feet away, she looked up. She didn’t see me, because I was under the trees. Then I stepped into the sunlight. The look on her face…I can’t describe it.“

My fists are tight under the covers. ”Tell me.“

”She was afraid, of course. But there was something else.“

”What?“

”Relief. That the truth was finally out, I guess. She must have been holding in so much for so long.“

Ellen actually sounds sympathetic. But her feelings had to be much different on the day these events transpired. ”What happened then?“

”I called out her name. Like a question. ’Kate?‘ She stood up then, as though my words had brought her to life. God, she was a beautiful girl.“ Ellen suddenly fixes me with a furious glare. ”I hate Drew for what he did. Not to me-though it’s almost destroyed me-but to her. He had no right to alter Kate’s life like that. He disrupted the natural order of things. She had so much to offer, she was so fresh, and he stole that from her. Her whole future.“

”Please go on, Ellen. What happened next?“

”I showed her the note.“

I close my eyes briefly. ”And?“

”I asked her to explain it to me. I think at that point I was still hoping for some sort of innocent explanation. I know that sounds pathetic, but it’s true. Kate got very upset, but she didn’t even try to lie. She told me she was in love with Drew, and that he loved her back. It was a wife’s worst nightmare, really. I just…I couldn’t process it, you know? But when I finally got what she was trying to tell me, I saw red. I couldn’t believe she’d deceived me that way. I couldn’t believe that this child had made such a fool of me. How stupid I’d been! And she wasn’t talking about sex, oh, no. She was talking about love. She lost her embarrassment very quickly. She was almost crowing, really. Or I felt that she was.“

”What did you do, Ellen?“

”I told Kate she was a fool, that Drew was lost in a midlife crisis, that she was giving up her youth for an affair that would come to nothing. I told her Drew would never leave Tim. And-that’s when it happened.“

”What?“

”Kate got this serene smile on her face. She told me they were running away together.“ Ellen is staring at the wall as though she can still see Kate before her. ”I told her she was crazy. Nuts. But she just kept smiling. Then she said, ’I’m pregnant, Ellen. Drew and I are going to have a baby.‘ “ Ellen’s mouth hangs slack for a few moments, as though she’s still in shock. ”I don’t think I was functioning normally from that point on.“