Lucy Monroe - Satisfaction Guaranteed

“That merely shows my intelligence, not some deep-seated fear of really living.”

“Why, Beth? What is so smart about refusing to date men who fascinate you?”

“You think agents fascinate me? Brother, you are so wrong.”

“I don’t think so.”

Her dark eyes snapped with irritation. “Stop being a prick.”

“Whoa…that’s a pretty strong reaction for what is essentially a harmless conversation. I must have struck a nerve.” And that interested him. A lot.

“Why don’t we dissect you and see how much you like it?”

“Go ahead, Beth. What you see is what you get.” He put his palms out in an open gesture. “I left my family behind in Texas when I realized I wanted more from life than I could find following in my daddy’s footsteps as a cattleman. So, I left that for my sister and both she and Daddy are happier for it. I like to test my limits with extreme sports and my job, which makes me a little more primitive than your average Washington politician, but that’s not something I’m ashamed of. I’m nowhere near ready to settle down, no matter what my mama might like, and I have very few sexual inhibitions.”

He didn’t know why he added that last bit-like a challenge-except he couldn’t get the image of those hot-pink handcuffs out of his head.

“Which is exactly why I don’t date agents.”

“Because of the lack of sexual inhibitions? I’d say that would be a benefit considering your leanings in that direction.”

“Because agents aren’t good long-term relationship material.”

“You said you weren’t interested in getting married.” And he’d about convinced himself to believe her because doing so would mean he could go after those pretty pink handcuffs with a clear conscience.

After the assignment.

If he made it that long.

“I’m not, but things happen. If you date a man, you can fall in love with him and end up married to him against your better judgment. My mother once told me never to date a man I wouldn’t want to end up married to.”

“That doesn’t sound like your mother. She seems like the type that would encourage dating whoever got you the connections most beneficial to her.”

“She’s not that much of a barracuda. Now if it were my Aunt Connie…”

“Your mom’s sister who is an actual politician, not someone who likes to play behind the scenes like your mom?”

“That’s the one. She makes my mom seem positively June Cleaver maternal by comparison.”

“So, your mom told you not to date agents,” he said, going back to the topic that interested him.

“She told me not to date a man I wouldn’t want to end up married to, and agents make lousy family men.”

Considering the fact her dad had been one, that said a lot about how Beth felt about him as a parent. “You don’t think agents should get married? At all? That’s pretty extreme, don’t you think?”

“I didn’t say that. You’re really into twisting my words tonight. I merely said that agents make lousy family men and that I have no desire to end up married to one. Ever.”

“It’s a good thing for you your mom didn’t feel the same way, isn’t it.”

“I don’t know. Is it?”

“Your dad is a good man.”

“Yes, he is. I’m very proud of what he’s accomplished with his life, but it came at a price.” She sighed, her expression not so much sad as determined. “He wasn’t the only one who paid it either. I know what it’s like to grow up with a very absentee father. Lots of kids do, but that doesn’t make it any easier to live with when you are one of them.

“Dad didn’t settle for a desk job until I was in my teens. By that time, Mother had developed a whole life independent of his. So had I. That works for them, but it’s not what I want for myself or for any children I might have. I’m not sure that what I do want is anything more than a pipe dream, but I’m not settling for something less. Which is why weddings and marriage are not high on my list of interesting conversational topics.”

It was a hint to let the subject drop, but he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to settle down right now either, but someday he had every intention of getting married. Maybe even having kids. Family was a good thing. He was just too busy enjoying the single life at the moment to have one. But she sounded like she really never planned to go that route, and something told him that would be a real waste.

She was warm and sweet…the kind of woman that would thrive in a family like the one he’d grown up in.

“Okay, so your dad missed a few school plays, but think of all the good he did.”

She laughed, her expression almost pitying. “It was a lot more than a few school plays and someone else could have done what he did in the field.”

“He was a damn good agent.”

“Yes, he was…but he wasn’t the only agent, not even the only really good agent. And who is to say that him moving to a desk job earlier wouldn’t have done the agency more good?”

“But he wouldn’t have been happy.” Didn’t she see that?

“I know. But his happiness came at the cost of mine. I can understand that as an adult…that he had to do what he felt was right, but I can never condone subjecting any child of mine to a similar situation. It hurts too much. I didn’t understand why he had to do what he did when I was little. All I knew was that my dad didn’t love me enough to be there for me when I needed him. I love him, but I’ll never allow a child of mine to go to sleep at night wondering what is wrong with her that she’s so unimportant to her dad he’s missed her birthday again, or her first date, or her high school graduation.”

He opened his mouth to speak and then shut it again. He didn’t know what that was like. Sure, things had come up when he was a kid that made his parents have to miss something here or there, but never one of his birthdays…or his graduation. It would be too easy for him to say it wouldn’t have mattered, but he didn’t know because he’d never had to face that.

“It sounds to me like you know exactly what you want-”

“Or don’t want.”

“Or don’t want. You’re definitely strong enough to turn down a guy if he wasn’t offering you the kind of lifestyle commitment you’re looking for.”

“You’d think so, wouldn’t you? Maybe I am now…but I wasn’t always.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just that I’ve made mistakes in the past I have no intention of repeating.”

“You’ve never been married.”

She winced. “No, I haven’t.”

Did she have any idea how her half answers were driving him nuts. The more he learned about her, the more he wanted to know until it was a burning thing inside him.

That was just his curiosity. Nothing special, but he hadn’t been intrigued by something outside his job like this for a long time. Not since wanting to find out who had killed the uncle who had lived estranged from his family for decades.

He’d had to learn that info secondhand…another man had discovered the identity of the killer. But this time, Ethan was going to be the one to discover what made Beth tick.

“So, you’d be safe dating agents.”

“And if I fell in love?”

“Love?” He didn’t deny its existence, but he’d never felt it. Not for a woman. Sometimes he wondered if he just wasn’t the type of man to fall in love.

“Yes, you know that pesky emotion that causes people to do lots of stuff they swear they’d never do.”

“I don’t see you letting it rule you.”

“Don’t you?”

“You’re too stubborn.”

“Stubborn…what kind of talk is this? You are supposed to be telling this one of her beauty…ai, ai, ai…you leave the talk of stubborn for after the marriage.” Vito was shaking his head and staring at Ethan in horror.