Carol Ericson - Circumstantial Memories

“I know.” He clunked the six-pack on her kitchen counter, and placed his hands on her shoulders. “You’re the mother of my child.”

“About that.”

He ran a thumb along her jaw line. “We have time to work it out. If you haven’t noticed I’m crazy about Shelby, but you’re her mother and you know what’s best for her. I’ll follow your lead.”

His confidence in his ability to win Julia back and gain the love and trust of his daughter gave him the luxury of making that concession. Julia would never shut him out of Shelby ’s life, and he had to make sure she’d never shut him out of her life, either.

Julia’s face brightened. “Well, then, follow my lead to the kitchen. You can toss the salad while I put the finishing touches on my teriyaki chicken. It’s better when I grill it outside, but…”

Her eyes shifted to the back door that led to a wooden deck and she shrugged. “No word yet?”

“The Sheriff’s Department will find Brody, if they haven’t already. He must know they’re looking for him. He’s not going to show his face around here again, especially with the cameras watching.”

“You’re right.” She shook her head and her silky hair caught the recessed lights over the counter.

He wanted to run his fingers through her shimmering tresses, but she had to make the first move. He dumped the chopped vegetables into a big bowl of lettuce and inexpertly wielded a long wooden fork and spoon to toss the contents.

Julia snorted. “We went out to eat a lot, didn’t we?”

“No, actually, I was an expert chef in Paris, studied at Le Cordon Bleu and whipped up fancy cuisine for you all the time.”

“Yeah, right. Once all my memories start rolling in, you’re going to have some explaining to do.” She shoveled some rice from a rice cooker into a bowl and then spun around. “What happened to the CD? In all the…er…excitement, I forgot to ask you.”

“I sent it to the Black Cobra offices in Washington.”

“Black Cobra has offices in Washington? I thought it was a top secret agency.”

“It is. The offices are as bland as any other government agency office.”

“Have they gotten back to you yet?”

“I doubt Black Cobra is going to tell me the contents of the CD, but they did verify it’s one of theirs. Jeremy breached security and stole it.”

“Stand-up guy, my ex-husband.”

“Don’t start beating yourself over the head again because you married Jeremy. You already did that. The guy could charm a snake out of a basket, and you were vulnerable. He fooled everyone, not just you, and you’re not even a top secret agency like Black Cobra. Imagine how Jeremy’s employer felt when he turned.”

“As foolish as I do.”

He chucked her under the chin. “More. After all, you had Jeremy’s number before Black Cobra did.”

“I fell for Dr. Brody’s act, too.” She bit her nail and wrinkled her nose. “Seems I don’t have very good judgment when it comes to men.”

He didn’t plan on touching that one even with the long fork he still clutched in his hand. Lifting his shoulders, he continued tossing.

Julia set the table and placed a small vase in the middle containing the wildflowers Shelby picked earlier. Ryder took his place across from her and expelled a long breath. Ever since he walked back into Julia’s life, they’d been on a carousel of emotions thanks to Brody. With the danger behind her, Julia could come to terms with Shelby having a father in the picture.

“Do you want one of those beers you brought? Or the wine?” She half rose from her chair.

“I don’t like to drink alone. Put the beers in the fridge for another time, and we’ll save the wine for when we have something to celebrate-maybe your lack of fuzziness.”

“I’m ready to banish the fuzziness right now.” She took a gulp of water. “I planned to tell you about the pregnancy, Ryder. I was waiting for the right moment. You warned me you didn’t want a family, and I didn’t know how to break it to you.”

“I was an ass. My views on family life made it hard for you to tell me. I get that.”

“Then I got that call from Jeremy.”

“You should’ve told me about that call.”

“You’d just left for your next assignment. I knew any correspondence I sent wouldn’t reach you for a few months and it would be heavily censored when it did.”

He stabbed a piece of chicken with his fork. That’s what he liked about his job. It could take months before he got any news from his family. Knowing this, they rarely contacted him about so-called family emergencies. He could remain blissfully out of the loop, but he didn’t want to be out of Julia’s loop.

He volunteered for another two years in the field when his attempts to reach Julia failed. He should’ve tried harder to find her. His compulsion to step back from entanglements had cost him big time. Had almost cost him his daughter.

“So you set off for Arizona by yourself to deliver the CD to Jeremy.”

“I did it to…” A pink tide ebbed across her cheeks. “I did it to protect you.”

“Black Cobra would’ve handled any fallout from that CD. Didn’t you realize Jeremy would go crazy when he saw you pregnant?”

Julia pushed a few grains of rice around her plate. “I didn’t think he’d care.”

“You really didn’t know Jeremy well, did you?”

“No. After the whirlwind courtship, I discovered I’d married a stranger. And he’s still a stranger. I can’t quite recall the night of the explosion.” She picked up his empty plate. “Would you like more chicken?”

“Yeah. That was great.” He noticed the crease between her brows. The events of the past few weeks had put her nerves to the test and she needed a break. And so did he. “Could you please bring me one of those beers and then tell me about Shelby? Show me her baby pictures. Tell me about her birth. Her first smile. Her first tooth. Her first word. Everything.”

She set his plate and a bottle of beer in front of him. “You really want to know?”

“Everything.”

He twisted off the cap on his beer and then sawed into his third piece of chicken, never imagining he’d ever eat anything Julia Rousseau cooked.

For the next hour and a half Julia filled him in on the details of Shelby ’s life. They’d moved from the table to the sofa where she pulled out photo albums and her laptop to show him hundreds of pictures of Shelby.

He studied each picture as if committing it to memory. He laughed, asked questions and marveled at Shelby ’s brilliance. In short, he acted like a proud papa.

Excitement fizzed along Julia’s veins like a fine sparkling wine from Rod’s cellar. Ryder wanted to be Shelby ’s father. Did he want more?

Only one way to find out.

Julia stood up and stretched, tousling her hair and raising her arms above her head. The light material of her sundress whispered around her thighs and pulled tightly across her breasts.

Ryder’s gaze, glued to the laptop screen for the past fifteen minutes, shifted to Julia, dipped to her legs and then skimmed up her body, catching on her breasts.

His Adam’s apple bobbed and his eyes widened.

A smile tugged at the corner of Julia’s mouth. She hadn’t lost her touch.

“Another beer?” She bent over at the waist, giving him an eyeful of her cleavage, and swept up his empty bottle from the coffee table.

“No, thanks.”

“That’s good.” She twirled around and headed for the kitchen, swaying her hips, feeling Ryder’s gaze hitched to every swing.

“Good? Why is that good?”

She plunked the bottle down on her kitchen counter and then sashayed her way back to the living room. “I don’t want you to be impaired while you…” Ryder’s eyebrows disappeared under a shock of sun-streaked brown hair “…drive home.”