Michael Buckley - Once upon a crime

Suddenly, there was a loud bang and the lights went off in the building. The security guards were closing the store.

"Now, about that book. There's a speech inside that I need to get back. You can keep the journal. But no one can ever hear Veronica's speech. You and your family can go back to Ferryport Landing. Your mother and father's usefulness to the master is over and as long as you stay out of the way you'll live. Not a bad trade."

"No chance," Sabrina said.

The Wizard reached into his pocket and removed his small, silver remote. "Then, so be it." He pushed a button and at once every little robot head turned toward them with electrical eyes blazing. The machines that could move charged at them, some dragging half-assembled bodies. Puck swatted a few away with his wooden sword, but one of the mechanical birds swooped down and snatched the journal out of Sabrina's hand. It immediately flew back to Oz and gave him its prize. Then Oz ran.

The family had to fight through the crowd of misfit robots to chase after him as he dashed out of the workroom and through the empty store. It was mostly dark but there were a few security lights on, so it was easy to follow him. But he kept overturning racks of clothing and merchandise in the family's path.

Puck stopped, spun around on his heels, and quickly transformed into a bull with huge horns. He bent his head down, stomped his front hooves a few times, blasted a breath out of his nostrils, and then charged forward, tossing the obstacles out of the way. The women raced close behind.

They watched Oz take the escalator up to the floor above. Puck transformed back to his normal state, then raced up the escalator two stairs at a time. Sabrina wasn't far behind. Daphne stayed back to help Granny along.

They chased Oz up five flights, with Puck still in the lead. They were racing through the sporting goods department when Sabrina saw Puck flail through the air and slam into a nearby wall. Then, something came around the corner at her. Sabrina had seen it many times before as a young girl. She had associated it with sugarplum dreams. Now it made her think of nightmares. It was a seven-foot-tall Nutcracker, painted to look like a red-coated soldier with a white beard. Its most horrible feature was a gaping mouth that smashed closed every few moments as if it were gnashing its teeth.

"Oh dear," Granny said as she and Daphne came up behind Sabrina.

Puck crawled to his feet, rushed behind the Nutcracker, and delivered a well-placed kick to its behind. The robot turned and lunged at him.

"They don't sell explosives in this store, do they?" Puck shouted, as he dodged the creature's massive arm.

"They sell everything else," Sabrina said, glancing at a store directory on the wall. "Wait a minute. Sporting Goods! We're on the sporting goods floor!"

With Puck keeping the monster's attention, she and her family raced around, choosing weapons. Daphne found a tennis racket, which she swung wildly at the robot, but her racket turned into splinters when it got caught in the Nutcracker's deadly jaws. Granny found a couple of soccer balls, but when she raced back to use them on the robot, it easily deflected her blows.

"What's that thing?" Puck said. He was pointing to an odd machine that said PITCHMASTER on the side. The contraption had a pump that shot balls through a tube at super speeds. Sabrina guessed it was to teach batters how to hit fastballs.

Fastballs!

She flipped the machine on and pushed a button, and a baseball rocketed out of the tube and hit a nearby mannequin, knocking its head off its shoulders.

"Oh, I've got to get me one of those things!" Puck said. "Do you think it will shoot balloons filled with donkey poo?"

Sabrina ignored Puck's disgusting idea and shouted to her sister, "Help me turn this toward the Nutcracker!"

When they had the machine lined up, Sabrina hit the button again and a ball screamed out of the tube and hit the Nutcracker in the chest. The force was so incredible it left a huge dent.

The creature turned, a red light flashing in its mechanical eyes. It rushed at them so quickly, the only thing to do was push the button on the ball machine and hold it down. A ball crashed into the robot's face, knocking a metal panel off and revealing its wiring. Then another slammed into its right leg. Each ball knocked the robot back, but each time it recovered and kept coming at them.

Sabrina quickly studied the pitchmaster's controls. There was a button that read LIGHTNING FASTBALL. She pushed it just as the Nutcracker's hand reached out for her. A ball shot out of the machine's tube and hit the creature between the eyes. Smoke suddenly billowed out of its head, and little sparks of fire popped around inside what had been the robot's brain. A second later the creature fell over and moved no more.

There was a loud clang and Sabrina turned. Oz had been hiding nearby and knocked over a rack of bicycles in his effort to escape. He raced to the escalators and the entire family took off after him. As soon as the Wizard reached the top of one escalator, he hurried to the next until he had quickly reached the top floor of the store. When the Grimms and Puck finally got there, he was nowhere in sight.

"Oz, we know you're up here," Granny Relda called out.

"Yeah, you can't hide from us or from the beating you're going to get when we find you," Puck said.

"Shut up! You're not helping," Sabrina said.

"Don't tell me to shut up. I'm a king," Puck said.

"You're an idiot."

Just then, an enormous glowing head materialized out of thin air. It seemed to be made of emerald-green fire and had horrible black eyes. When its mouth opened, Oz's voice came bellowing out. "I have never had luck with children. I have to admit I've always underestimated them and they have been my undoing."

Puck snatched a giant candy cane decoration off a wall nearby and swung it at the head. "Aw, shut up." The cane passed right through the head, breaking up the image only temporarily.

"Look at Dorothy," the head continued. "That little girl was a moron, I tell you. I mean, dumber than a box of rocks. She comes to me asking for a way back to Kansas. I mean, if you could have a wizard grant a wish, would you waste it on going to Kansas? And her friends! 'Give me a heart!' 'Give me a brain!' 'Give me courage!' What they needed was a clue. So, I sent them to see the Wicked Witch of the West. Who would have thought they'd ever come back? They ruined everything for me. Well, I won't let it happen, again. It's time the Wizard got a wish of his own."

Sabrina motioned for everyone to follow her. Oz had to be hiding somewhere nearby.

"You're not going to get away with this," she muttered.

"Oh, but I am," Oz cried as the head followed her. "After all, I'm the great and terrible Wizard. I can do magic, child, and I've got a lot of tricks up my sleeve."

They turned a corner and found the man standing in plain view. He was busy working the buttons on his silver remote control, pounding them frantically and causing the little device to squeal and honk. When he finally noticed the family, he groaned. "Don't look behind the curtain," he said with an uncomfortable laugh.

"Oz, give me the book," Sabrina said.

"I can't, child," he said. The Wizard shook his head as he pushed a button on his remote, then backed away from the group.

Suddenly there was an incredible rumbling beneath them. The building shifted as a fissure opened up, snaking across the entire floor. Puck and the Grimms were knocked to their knees. The floor was splitting in two to make way for something big, round, and green. It rose higher and higher, and got bigger and bigger, until it nearly filled the entire store. With nowhere else to go, it pushed through the ceiling, causing concrete and wood to crash down around everyone.