Josephine Cox - Songbird

In the complete absence of any visitors, Nurse Cathy had become something of a friend. Maddy had accounted for the lack of visitors by saying that her grandad was too old to make the journey from Blackpool.

Now, as she handed Maddy her toiletries bag to push down the side of the holdall she had been given, Cathy asked, “Will you be all right, dear?”

“Yes – I think so.” But Maddy had no idea where she would end up. All she knew was that she had to get out of here, find lodgings of sorts, and contact Ellen as soon as possible. For now though, it was a milestone too far. She was still very weak.

“I can help, if only you’d let me.” The young nurse was no fool. She suspected that Maddy was a loner, with no roots or family. Using her recovery as an excuse, Maddy had confided very little about herself to anyone.

Lost in gloomy thoughts, Maddy did not hear and thus gave no answer. For endless weeks, this bed and this ward had been her home. Now, she had no idea where she could go – for Blackpool was closed to her, as was Brighill. Her mind went to Brad, and her eyes smarted with unshed tears.

In the depths of despair, she sat on the edge of her bed, her head hanging on her chest and her heart brimming with regrets. Her arms ached to hold her child. Where she had once been filled with optimism, now she was devoid of any ambitions or sense of joy. In fact, she felt like a completely different person – as though Maddy Delaney had been dragged into that car, and someone else had woken in that ditch.

It was a frightening, lonely feeling. So lonely, that for the first time in many months, she began to weep as if her heart would break.

Filled with compassion, Nurse Cathy drew the curtains round the bed, sat down and slid her arm about Maddy’s shoulders. “Let it out,” she advised. “My mother always says if you’re feeling bad, it’s better out than in.”

And so Maddy cried and clung to her, and when at last she was quieter, Cathy asked, very gently, “Where will you go?”

Maddy shook her head and sobbed, “I don’t know.”

The nurse bent her head to look into Maddy’s face. “Please… won’t you let me help? I know where you can get lodgings and wages to help you along, until you sort yourself out. It’s not charity,” she added hastily. “It’s hard work, but it’s regular, and it’s there for as long as you need it.”

This time, Maddy glanced up. “Where?”

“In this very hospital. They’ve been in desperate need of general help for a while now, in the kitchens and on the ward floors. The hospital owns a number of houses; some of them are nurses’ homes, and some are kept for other employees.”

She gave Maddy a cheeky wink. “I happen to know they have a vacant property on North Park Street, which would suit you just fine. It’s within a short bus ride of the hospital, or a twenty-minute walk on a good day. The shops are just round the corner.”

Sensing that Maddy was interested, she went on, “You can explain about your accident, so initially, you’ll be given light and easy duties.” She gave Maddy a friendly nudge. “So, do you want to give it a try? I know it’s not glamorous, but who cares? It’s a job. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to take it.”

Maddy decided to go for it.

That very afternoon, after Nurse Cathy finished her shift, she took Maddy down to meet the kitchen manager, a small beady-eyed woman called Miss Atkins, with a tiny little mouth and sticky-out feet.

There followed a brief interview, then a brisk walk round the main kitchens, which Maddy would be helping to clean. She was told, “Because there is a lot of foot-traffic during the day, the kitchens are best cleaned at nights. Does that pose a problem for you?”

“No, it’s not a problem for me.” In fact, it was ideal.

“Good! Of course, the work is hard… that’s why we currently have vacancies. I’ll give you a month’s trial, starting the day after tomorrow. If you knuckle down and work well, we’ll get on all right. But if I need to reprimand you more than twice, you’ll be out on your ear.”

Nurse Cathy had already explained about Maddy’s terrible accident. “I have no wish to throw you in at the deep end,” Miss Atkins said, less briskly. “You can start with the smaller tasks, then as you get stronger, you can take on some of the more demanding jobs.” She actually smiled. “Don’t worry, dear. I have no intention of working you into the ground. Don’t want to see you back here as a patient!”

The next thing was to arrange somewhere for Maddy to live. The nurse inquired at the staff office about the house on North Park Street, and after a bit of a tussle, and more paperwork and hanging about, they were given the key.

“The house has been unoccupied for two months,” the Personnel Manager told them, closing the big green filing-cabinet drawer. “It will need cleaning and opening up to let the cobwebs blow away.” The man gave no apology. “There’s no doubt it will be damp and univiting. But that’s the way it is, Sheelagh,” she told Maddy. “I’m afraid.”

Thanking her lucky stars for being given a roof over her head, Maddy signed the contract there and then.

Cathy, the nurse, said she would accompany Maddy to the house, but that first, they must go and have a sustaining meal in the staff canteen. Maddy was happy to do this, as she was feeling very wobbly by now.

With its stone mullions and deep Georgian windows, the house had once been a proud dwelling. When they opened the door however, the stench of damp hit the two women like a wall. “Phew!” Cathy led the way, carrying Maddy’s bag. “I’d best give you a hand to get rid of this smell.”

They went from room to room, and each one was the same – damp and dingy, and filled with secondhand furniture that had seen better days.

“We’ll soon have it shipshape and Bristol fashion,” said Cathy, and they did.

An hour later, with the windows having been thrown open to let the bad air out and the fresh summer air in, Maddy could see its potential. Not that she cared about such things any more. This house was a roof over her head, that was all. For now, she needed nothing more, except to be left in peace, allowed to hide from the world and not be a bother to anyone.

Under the sink they found cleaning materials and a round plastic bowl, and out in the yard Maddy located a bucket with its handle missing. But, “It will do the job,” she claimed.

So, the two of them got stuck in, and the old house began to look like a home. “You need bread and milk,” Cathy noted as they cleaned out the cupboards “and food of sorts.”

“I saw a little shop down the road,” Maddy recalled. “I’ll go and get a few things, and sort myself out tomorrow.” When she realized she had not even a penny, the shame enveloped her. “I’m sure they’ll let me have a tab or something, until I get my first week’s wages.”

Cathy would not even hear of it. “You rinse that rusty old kettle out,” she said, “while I go and get a few things to start you off.”

By the time she returned, with eggs and milk and bread, and a few treats like chocolate biscuits and a box of cornflakes for morning, Maddy had not only scrubbed and boiled the kettle twice over, but she had also found a pair of clean sheets in the airing cupboard. “I’ve shaken up the mattress,” she told Cathy, “and I’ve shaken and aired the blanket, so at least I’ve got a bed to sleep on tonight.”

Cathy had an idea. “Why don’t you come back with me to the nurses’ home, just for tonight?”

“I thought nurses weren’t allowed to bring anyone in?” Maddy asked.

“I’ll smuggle you in, if I have to.”

Maddy thanked her, but said, “No, it’s all right. I don’t want to get anyone into trouble. Besides, now that I’ve got a bed and food – for which I shall pay you back when I get my first pay packet, I’ll be fine here. Besides, I’ve got to get used to it, haven’t I?”