Josephine Cox - Songbird

She opened the door wide. “Look again.”

“I am looking! And I still say you’re imagining things.”

But he was agitated; deeply moved. He studied the lovely woman in the pictures, relaxed and glamorous, and as he tried to relate her to the sad, neglected woman lying in the hospital bed, he saw a caption: The Pink Lady Cabaret Bar, Old Compton Street, Soho, 1976; Maddy Delaney, the Songbird, singing the blues…

There was a mystery here, something linked to himself and his father, and Robin was determined to find out what it was.

It was early evening, and Brad was ready to leave Brighill Farm to drive into Bedford. “It would be so good if I could change his mind,” he told Sue Wright, who was now employed by him as a secretary and jill-of-all-trades. “A man needs his son alongside him. Besides, who will I leave all this to, if he doesn’t want it?”

“You can’t make the boy do what he doesn’t want to do,” she chided, for the hundredth time. Her Dave had been a late starter, and she was simply thrilled that he was knuckling under and studying Physics at the uni. No way would she have tried to persuade him to give it up. “Just as you had a dream of starting your chain of veterinary clinics, so young Robin has a dream of becoming a fine doctor.”

Brad felt ashamed. “I know,” he admitted. “And I know it’s selfish of me to try and undermine him.”

“Then don’t.” Sue always spoke her mind. “Look.” She pointed to the clock over the cooker. “You’ve still time to have a cuppa and a slice of that apple pie.” Her other four sons were all married or living away, and she hadn’t got out of the habit of baking for a large family.

Brad gave a sigh, then with a shrug of his broad shoulders, he relented. “Oh, go on then. Get the kettle on, you big bully! I’ll run up to the office and collect that brochure I want to show Robin.”

A moment later, studying the new, shiny reprint of his clinic brochures, he sat with Sue at the table. “Do you ever miss the old days?” she asked him suddenly. “You know, when our lads were best friends at school? Life seemed a lot more simple than.”

When Brad made no comment, she looked him in the eye. “You still miss that Sheelagh, don’t you?”

He gave a little smile. “Does it show that much?”

“All the time,” she said. “And if I’m honest, I still miss her too. She was such good company, always smiling and helpful; she was a special person. I can’t believe she was only here for such a short time. But how cruel of her, to disappear like that, leaving you and the boy so worried and upset! We’ve never found out what happened, have we?” Sue shivered. It had been a mystery as total as the vanishing of the Marie Celeste . Sheelagh’s clothes and few possessions had been left behind… Sue sometimes secretly wondered if the poor young woman had died – or some such inexplicable thing.

Encouraged by Sue’s comments, Brad opened his heart. “You know how much I loved Penny,” he started. “When I lost her, I thought the world had come to an end. I could never see myself with anyone else.”

He leaned back in his chair, his thoughts returning to the lonely years before Sheelagh had arrived in his life. “Then Sheelagh came along, and wham! Almost without me realizing it, she crept into my heart. She gave me hope for the future.”

“Why do you think you never found her?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I did my best – inquired at all the hospitals, and put notices up, and ads in the papers, but she just vanished without a trace. Someone said they’d seen her making calls from the phone box in the village, so perhaps she had a private life I knew nothing about. She may even have used a false name. I suppose after I asked her to marry me, she took fright and scarpered, which, if I’m honest, was probably for the best. She obviously didn’t feel the same way about me as I did about her. She went, and I had no right to stop her.”

He gave a weary smile. “It was Sheelagh who made me pull myself together,” he confided. “She really wanted me to succeed. She told me I must never let go of my dreams.”

“And after she’d gone, you never did.”

He lapsed into silence for a moment, before saying softly, “I wish she was here now, to share it with me.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, I still think you should have gone after her with more determination – searched the four corners of the earth if you had to! After all, what did you have to lose?”

“Maybe you’re right, Sue. Maybe I should have made more of an effort to find her. But she obviously didn’t want me to find her, or she would never have gone off like that in the first place, without so much as a goodbye.” That was the part that really hurt. Remembering what it had done to his young son, he felt angry, too.

Grabbing his coat, he threw it on and thanked her for the tea and apple pie. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yes, and I’d better get back home to my husband. He’ll be wanting his supper. Pass on my love to Robin then, and don’t forget to give him the benefit of doubt, both as far as his career is concerned, and the girl he’s chosen to be with. Try not to be too critical.”

He laughed. “Critical? Who – me? Shame on you, Sue. When have I ever been critical?”

Sue remained at the window, watching Brad until he was out of sight. Next to her was Roxy, the red setter bitch who had replaced the much-loved Donald when his big doggy heart had given out, years ago. “You’re a proud, unhappy man,” she said to the taillights of Brad’s car. “You should have gone after her.”

It was just after six p.m. when Brad arrived at North Park Road.

When he knocked on the door, it was Dave who answered it.

“Hi, there, Mr. Fielding. They’re next door, Rob and Betsy,” Dave informed him. “Our neighbor collapsed and was taken to hospital. Rob and Betsy have been clearing up for her. I think you’ll find your son replacing a window he broke in the back door when getting into the house.”

He sniggered. “It’s his second attempt – the first one didn’t fit properly. I don’t suppose he took the right measurements, but then again, he’s not all that hot at taking measurements – unless it’s of a girl’s vital statistics.”

Choosing to ignore Dave’s lighthearted banter, Brad clapped him on the shoulder and set off down the path. “Okay, thanks. I’d best go and find him then. See you later, Dave. Your mum’s looking forward to having you at home next weekend. I think she’s planning to fatten you up, so I wouldn’t bother to eat till then, if I were you.” Chuckling to himself, he went round the back of next door, and found his son struggling to get the windowpane to fit.

“Oh, Dad!” Robin’s face lit up on seeing Brad. “I didn’t think you’d be here for at least another hour.”

“Got my work done early,” Brad winked. “Thought I’d catch you unawares.” He rolled up his sleeves, and together the two of them had the pane fitted and sealed in record time.

“Thanks, Dad. I had the blessed thing in once, only it wouldn’t fit properly.”

“So, where’s your girl? Young Dave told me she was round here with you.”

“Betsy’s upstairs, putting the net curtains back up. She’s washed and dried them – got a ton of dirt out of them.”

Brad found her as Robin had said, climbing down from a ladder, and looking flushed and rather disheveled.

“Ah! And you’re Betsy, are you?” Brad said. He thought her to be an attractive young woman.

He went to shake hands, but when she kissed him on the cheek, he was taken aback. “Does your young lady greet all your friends like this?” he chuckled as Robin walked in the door.