Claire LaZebnik - Knitting Under the Influence

“In the kitchen,” Kathleen said to Kelly. “Now.”

The second the door had swung shut behind them, Kathleen hissed, “What the fuck is going on? Why is Lloyd here? And why is Jordan Fisher feeling up Christa in front of everybody?”

“Oh, God, Kathleen, it's such a mess, you can't believe it,” Kelly said. She pulled a long hank of her strawberry blond hair across her throat like she was trying to choke herself with it. “Lloyd came over one day with that Jordan guy, who kept going on and on about representing us-as if we'd leave CAA for him. And I thought he was, you know, totally sleazy-”

“He's disgusting,” Kathleen said. “I met him before. I mean, that greasy hair-”

“I know!” Kelly squealed. “I can hardly even bear to look at him. And he was like trying to flirt with us and then afterward Christa said she thought he was cute and I said the truth, which was that he totally made me want to throw up, and she got really mad and wouldn't talk to me, and it's basically been like that ever since.”

“He was all over her at the table,” Kathleen said. “Are they actually going out?”

Kelly opened her wide blue eyes even wider. “Are you kidding me? For like weeks now. That's why he and Lloyd are here. Christa invited Jordan without even asking and then she said we had to invite Lloyd, too, or he'd be hurt.”

“Since when is hurting Lloyd's feelings a problem?” Kathleen said.

“Well, we do have to be careful. Junie said people would think we were really horrible if we weren't nice to him since we're rich and he isn't. And he is our father.”

“Who ran out on us when we were babies.”

“Yeah, he's a jerk,” Kelly said. “Don't you think its weird how much you look like him?” She put her hand on her hip. She was wearing a skimpy tank top and jeans that were cut so low you could see every inch of her hip bone, but she was so thin there was nothing either curvaceous or sexy about the revealed flesh. “Believe me, I wouldn't have invited him, but Christa's all like, ‘whatever Jordan thinks.’ She's even saying she's going to let him represent her. He says we'll do better with two different agents- that it'll give us twice the clout. Like he has any clout at all.“ She rolled her eyes.

“What do Junie and Mom think?”

“Junie said no way should we switch agents, and she and Christa got in a big fight about it. And then Mom and Christa had a fight because Mom told her she should listen to Junie, and then Christa and I had a fight because I was like ‘I can't believe you don't see what a sleazeball this guy is and everybody else does’ and by the way, you weren't around to back me up-”

“I know,” Kathleen said. “Sorry about that. I’ve been kind of busy, but I should have come over more.”

“It's not really your fault.” Kelly flipped the hair back over her shoulder. “If she can't see how disgusting he is, there's kind of nothing anyone can do, anyway. I mean, I’m her identical twin and I can't get her to see it, you know? And now she said they might even move in together. Can you believe it?”

“No,” Kathleen said. “I can't. But-and believe me, no one thinks the guy's more repulsive than I do-but I guess she does have a right to her own life. Everyone does.”

“Not us,” Kelly said. “Not Christa and me. We can't live our own lives. Not like other people.” She sighed so deeply you could see the exposed part of her stomach rise up and then relax back down. “People only want to see us together. If we separate-” She didn't bother to finish the sentence, just shrugged and waved her hand. Her fingernails were painted dark orange. “You know,” she said, “you're the lucky one. You only have to deal with, you, know what I mean?”

“Yeah,” Kathleen said. “There's only ever been me.”

Eloise wouldn't let Sari have any more time alone with Charlie for the rest of the evening. Sari went back into the family room after dinner, but her mother followed her in there and started a conversation about some distant cousins. At one point, during a commercial, Sari said, “Hey, Charlie, lets play a game or go for a walk or something,” and her mother immediately said, “If you're not really watching TV, then you can help me with the dishes,” and led Sari into the kitchen. Lucy followed close behind.

The phone rang while they were still washing up, and Sari's father called to them from the bedroom to say it was Cassie. Sari's mother lit up. “I knew she'd call! She wouldn't let Thanksgiving come and go without calling. Not Thanksgiving.”

She pounced on the phone and said, “Cassie darling!” And then, “We're just fine! Wonderful! Sari came with her old chum Lucy and it's been just the loveliest time.”

“Just the loveliest,” Sari said to Lucy, who smothered a laugh.

Eloise held the phone out to Sari. “She wants to say hi to you.

Sari put it to her ear. “Hi,” she said warily.

“I can't believe you're there,” Cassie said. “You're even crazier than they are. Which I wouldn't have thought was possible.”

Sari couldn't really argue with any of that. “How's your Thanksgiving going?”

“Fine. Cold.”

“Where are you?”

“Vermont,” Cassie said. “Bet you're losing your mind there, huh?”

“You're not wrong,” Sari said.

“Still desperate to have children of your own?”

“I never said I was. I just said I couldn't promise not to.”

“Yeah, whatever. Tell Mom I had to go. I can't talk to her again. I don't even know why I called in the first place. There was some ad on TV that got to me and I felt guilty for a second. I’m already regretting it. Don't have kids, Sari. Just don't.”

“I’m not planning to at this moment.”

“You're such a fucking coward. Happy Thanksgiving.”

“You, too,” Sari said, but Cassie had already hung up. Eloise held out her hand expectantly.

“She's gone,” Sari said, turning the phone off. Her mother pouted. “I hardly got to talk to her. Why did you hang up so fast?”

“I didn't,” Sari said. “She did.”

“Oh.” Eloise took the phone from her hand and popped it back into its base. “Well, she's probably busy. You know Cassie.”

“Not really,” Sari said. “Do you?”

“Don't be silly.” Her mother left the room to get a few more things off the dining room table.

Lucy and Sari looked at each other. “Car?” Lucy said. “Now? Please?”

“Yeah, all right,” Sari said. “I don't know what I’m waiting for, anyway. Let's just go.”

“Sweetest words I’ve ever heard.” They dried their hands on a dish towel and went to say goodbye.

In the family room, Sari knelt in front of Charlie, getting between him and the TV, so he had to look at her. He smiled and leaned sideways so he could see around her. “Goodbye, Sari,” he said.

“I love you,” she said.

“I love you,” he repeated.

“You see?” Sari's mother said. She had followed Sari in there. “You see? He loves like a child, pure and simple and with his whole heart. If everyone were like Charlie, there would be no wars, no cruelty, no fighting.”

“Just a whole lot of TV watching,” Sari said, rising back to her feet.

In the car, Lucy said, “When did she get so religious? I don't remember her going on and on about God when we were in high school.”

“It's been building up over the years,” Sari said. “It's not like she ever went to church when we were kids. Actually, I don't even think she goes to church now. She worships at the House of Denial.”

“She lives in the House of Denial,” Lucy said. “What's up with all that ‘God made him the way he is so we can't even try to help him’ shit?”