Claire LaZebnik - Knitting Under the Influence

She opened the wallet. “Hey, look-a student ID. That's helpful.” She studied it briefly, then looked up. “So how are you liking UCLA, Ashley? I see you're living off campus.” No response. “So what kind of name is Skopinker, anyway? Russian?” The girl was silent. “Ukrainian?” Ashley just glared at her. “Polish, maybe? Am I at least right to focus on Eastern Europe?”

“You can't do that,” the girl said. “That's my stuff. It's illegal to go through someone's stuff without a search warrant.”

“It's also illegal to pour paint on people's cars and send hate mail through the Internet,” Lucy said. “Maybe you and I should cut each other some slack.”

“You don't need to cut me any slack,” Ashley said. “I’ll be fine. It's the rats I’m worried about. Look at them, locked up in those tiny cages. Waiting to be slaughtered. Don't you have a heart? Or at least a conscience?”

“They love their cages,” Lucy said, with a brief glance over in that direction. “They're fed, they're warm, they have company-”

“Until you kill them.”

“It's a very fast, painless death. It's not like life is so great for a rat on the street, you know.”

“I bet they'd be willing to take that chance,” the girl said. “How about we set them all free and see whether or not they come back to their cages?”

“They'd die in a couple of days,” Lucy said. “Their adrenal glands don't function.”

“Holy shit,” the girl said. “What have you done to them?”

“They were born that way.”

“Bred that way, you mean.” The girl shook her head and her long blond hair swung first one way and then the other. It really was beautiful hair, Lucy thought. Too bad she was carrying around some extra weight, because the girl had potential. If she just lost twenty pounds and did something about her skin…

“It's scientific research,” Lucy said. “Ever heard of it? It's led to a lot of cures for a lot of people. For animals, too. In fact, Addison's disease is more common in dogs than in humans, and it's one of the-”

The girl cut her off. “There are ways of doing scientific research without torturing and killing harmless animals.”

“You're right,” Lucy said. “We could use college students instead. You want to be our first volunteer?”

The girl got up from her chair and walked over to the cages. “Poor little things,” she said. “What kind of a creature is man that he can do this to other animals without even feeling guilty about it? We're the ones without souls, not them.” She poked a finger in one of the cages and made little cooing noises for a while. Then she turned back to Lucy “Have you ever bothered to get down on their level and look them in the eyes, ever even tried to see the intelligence and the humanity-for want of a better word-that's in there?”

“Actually,” Lucy said, “believe it or not, I’m what you might call an animal lover. But I’m also a realist. Sometimes you have to kill a rat to save a human life, or two, or three thousand, and that's a choice I’m willing to make.”

“Easy for you to say. You haven't asked them. “ She gestured toward the rats.

“They're welcome to perform medical experiments on humans, as soon as it occurs to them to do so. And they get a grant from the NIH.”

“How can you say you're an animal lover? You think because you pet dogs now and then, that means you care?” She shook her head in sincere disgust. “If you really loved animals, you wouldn't just go and kill a few every week without even thinking twice about it-”

“No, not without thinking about it,” Lucy said. “I think about it all the time. And then I go ahead and I kill them because it's ultimately the right thing to do.”

“How can you say that?”

“Because it is. Choices aren't always easy, Ashley.”

Ashley snorted. “That's what evil people always say. You start with small animals, then why not kill bigger ones? And while you're killing bigger animals, why not kill off sick or weak humans? And, if you're going to kill them, why not kill the ones you decide are inferior to you? Because they're like a different race or religion or something? And then, of course, you'll have to kill anyone who doesn't agree with you-”

“Don't tempt me,” Lucy said.

“It's not funny,” Ashley said. “Life is valuable. All life. Can't you see that?”

Before Lucy could respond, the door opened and David walked in. “Did you see the sign on the door?” he said. “I was thinking we should leave it up there for a while just to- Oh, hi. Who's this?”

“This is Ashley,” Lucy said. “She's the one who put the sign there.”

“Ah,” David said. “Is she also the one who's been dumping paint on James's car?”

“I’m guessing,” Lucy said. They both looked at Ashley. She folded her arms tightly across her chest and stared at the wall.

“It's not that I don't think James deserves it,” David said, sitting down at his desk. “For all sorts of reasons. Like-see that coffee cup over there? He left that, right on my papers and they're all stained now, thanks to him. A slob like that deserves to have some paint thrown on his car. But he doesn't deserve it because he does animal research. That's to his credit.”

“Are we done?” Ashley asked Lucy. “I’d like to get out of here. Can I have my bag back, please?”

Lucy appealed to David. “What do you think? If James were here-”

“He'd want her head on a platter,” he said. “But it's kind of a young head. And James can be a little… overreactive.”

“Yeah, I know.” Lucy turned back to Ashley. “Listen, if I let you go right now, will you promise to leave us all alone and go bother someone else?”

“Preferably in a different building,” David said.

Ashley scowled. “I haven't admitted to anything yet. Maybe I don't even know what you're talking about.”

“Okay,” Lucy said, pulling a pad of paper toward her. “Here's the deal, Ashley. I’m writing down your name and address. If I find more signs or any of our cars gets covered with paint again or if we receive any more nasty e-mails, I will call the university administration and the police and tell them who's responsible. Do you understand?”

“You don't have any proof,” Ashley said. “And even if you did, I’d have to do what's right, no matter what the risk.”

“Yeah, well, if I were you, I’d make sure vandalizing research labs really is what's right before I went and got myself arrested for it.” Lucy tossed everything that had fallen on the desk back in the bag, then bent down and picked up the can of spray paint off the floor. “This, I’m not giving back to you,” she said and threw it in the trash can. “No good can possibly come of your having a can of spray paint. But you can take the rest and go.”

Ashley warily darted forward, snatched at the bag, and ran to the door. “Think about what you're doing,” she said. “Think about the pain you're causing these animals just because you're bigger than they are. Think about how you'd like to be treated if-”

“Think about the police coming to your door,” David said.

She shot him one last look of pure hatred and then was gone, slamming the door behind her.

David raised his fist in the air. “Vive la résistance!” he said cheerfully.

“Yeah, right,” Lucy said. “Do you think she thinks she's some kind of hero?”

“Definitely.”

“Someone should tell her about rats and the bubonic plague.”

“Someone should give her the bubonic plague.” He stared at the closed door. “Although, it was kind of a relief meeting her-she wasn't exactly an angry mob, was she?”