Rene Gutteridge - Listen

Damien touched the casket, running his fingers along its rim, grazing the silk lining.

Captain Grayson’s words whispered in the corridors of his mind again, and their conversation at the hospital started to replay. He blinked, trying to kick it out again.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Meredith?” Damien said to Frank, wiping the tears from his eyes. “How could I not know that? I know everything about you.” He never told anyone except Angela. Not even his closest friend. What kept him quiet all these years? Was it guilt? shame?

He took a few steps back and felt a hand on his shoulder. He knew it was Kay.

“The kids are here,” she said quietly.

Damien nodded and turned. Jenna rounded the corner first, followed closely by Hunter. Jenna’s dress glided around her knees as she walked. Hunter fidgeted with his collar. Damien held out his arms, and they each buried their face in a shoulder.

“You know,” Damien said, still blocking their view, “you don’t have to see Frank like this. It’s all right to remember him how he was.”

“It’s okay, Dad,” Jenna said, her gaze drifting toward the casket. “Frank was family. We should be here for him, even like this.”

Damien took them each by the shoulder and turned. Hunter trembled beneath his hand. Jenna leaned into him. Kay came up beside them and they stood silently for a while, just looking.

“I hope you two find as good a friend as Frank was to me.” Damien wanted to say more, but his voice quivered and he hated his kids seeing him like this.

Then Jenna lightly laughed. “Is that his cell phone?”

Damien grinned through his tears. “Yeah. Figured Frank wouldn’t want to go through eternity without his technology. The police finished their investigation of it and gave it back.”

Hunter looked at him. “Is the lid going to be open during the funeral?”

“No. This is called a viewing. We’ll close it before the funeral starts.”

“Good,” Hunter said. “Frank would not want to be seen in a suit.”

Damien laughed. “Exactly, buddy.”

“He’s in heaven,” Jenna said. “I know it. I remember when we were little, Frank would always talk to us about heaven and God and Jesus. He always said he wasn’t getting there by his merits, which he thought was funny because of his last name.”

Damien smiled. Sounded like a Frank joke.

“Jenna, you got your cell phone?” Hunter asked.

“Yeah. Why?”

“Let me see it.”

She dug in her purse and handed it over. Hunter’s thumbs flew over the number keys.

“Son,” Damien said, “now’s not a good time to be texting-”

Suddenly Frank’s cell phone lit up and vibrated. Hunter smiled.

Damien leaned in to read it: We luv u Frank. Rest well.

With another smile came another swelling of emotion. Tears dripped down Damien’s face faster than he could wipe them. Kay brought him into a hug, then let go, nodding that he should look behind him.

He turned.

Angela.

“Honey,” Damien said, “why don’t you take the kids out. I’ll be there in a minute. It’s almost time for the funeral to start. We need to get over to the church.”

Kay gathered them by the shoulders and ushered them out, disregarding Angela as she walked by her.

Angela gave a short, polite smile, clinging tightly to her black clutch. She was dressed from head to toe like a mourning widow.

Damien drew in a deep breath, careful to keep his emotions-and tongue-under control.

Without saying anything, Angela came up beside him, her eyes fixed on Frank. She blotted her face every which way with a tattered tissue. “Oh, baby…”

Damien stepped back and rolled his eyes. He couldn’t watch this. In fact, he couldn’t be near this woman. He started to leave.

“I know what you think of me,” she said.

Damien stopped, willing himself not to turn around.

“But I didn’t have anything to do with this.”

Damien faced Angela. “He was at your apartment when he was killed. You had something to do with it.”

“Like I told the police, I wasn’t there. I was at work, which has already been confirmed.” Angela glanced at Frank. “I went in early because I’d skipped some days and was behind on my work. I have no idea why he was there.”

“I imagine that he was there because he still loves you.” Damien looked down. “Loved you, I mean. After everything you did to that man, he never stopped loving you.”

“You probably don’t believe this, but I never stopped loving him either. Frank was not an easy man to live with, but that didn’t mean I didn’t still love him.”

“Sure. You loved him enough to keep calling him from time to time, giving him hope.”

“That’s not true.”

Damien sighed. “I don’t want to get into it. Not here. Not now, over Frank’s…” He shook his head and turned to leave.

“I’m a suspect. They haven’t officially said it, but I know it. They keep returning, looking through my stuff, asking me questions.”

Damien turned around one more time. “Why didn’t he tell me about Meredith?”

Angela shook her head. “He made me swear to never tell. I never visited her myself. He wouldn’t allow it. But he told me once that every time he went, he would whisper in her ear.”

“Whisper what?”

“All the good things about her. All the things she couldn’t believe about herself.”

Damien kept walking. He couldn’t take any more of Angela. Maybe she was worth fighting for in Frank’s world, but she wasn’t worth dying for.

The police chaplain greeted Damien as he left the hallway and entered the foyer of the funeral home. Walking behind him was Reverend Caldwell.

“Chaplain, good to see you,” Damien said, shaking his hand. Captain Grayson stood beside him and shook Damien’s hand too. “Hi, Lou. Reverend Caldwell, thanks for coming.”

“Sure,” Reverend Caldwell said, holding his hand with a tight, knowing grip. “Have any questions about how or when you’ll be speaking?”

“No, I’m good. Thanks,” Damien said.

“We better get to the church,” the chaplain said. “They’ll bring Frank over in about ten minutes. I’ll see you both there.”

Damien nodded, then turned to Lou. A tense moment of silence passed between them. Damien couldn’t hold it in any longer. “I know Frank wasn’t behind this Web site. I heard you found nothing on his computer linking him to it.”

“We’re still investigating. There’s the possibility that he used a remote computer not tied to him.”

“I would hope that you’d be investigating his murder.”

“They may be all connected.”

“How so?”

“When we went to Frank’s apartment, his computer was on. He’d been checking the Web site.”

“So? Everyone is checking it.”

“We can tell that he viewed it early in the morning, before he went to Angela’s.”

Damien folded his arms and stared at the carpet.

“Also, there hasn’t been an updated post on the Web site since Frank died.” Lou put a hand on Damien’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. ”

“It’s not true. Frank wouldn’t do this. I know him. You need to look elsewhere. And you need to figure out who killed Frank.”

“We’re looking into all the angles, including whether or not Frank knew Angela was seeing someone.”

“Just find out who killed him, okay?”

As much as he splashed cold water on his face, Damien still couldn’t shake the fatigue he continued to feel every morning. His sleep was fitful at best, and even if he managed a good night’s sleep, he never felt rested. And when he had the time, he didn’t want to rest. He wanted to find out what happened to Frank.