Camy Tang - Sushi for One?

Lex understood numb. “I don’t know.” She stared at her hands.

After a few minutes, Trish rose. “I’ll go.”

“No, don’t go.” Lex reached for her.

“You need someone else with you.”

“I need you.”

“What could I ever do for you?” Trish’s voice broke.

“I love you, Trish.”

Trish’s face crumpled. She dropped back down to the bed, stuffing her head in the covers. She heaved and wailed. Lex touched her head, her shoulder.

It took Trish a long time to calm down. She lay staring at the wall.

“I never thought to ask God about Kazuo.”

“I never thought to ask God about Oliver. I never thought to ask God about anything I did. I just did it. And things got worse and worse.”

The doorbell rang. Trish bolted to her feet, then glanced at the bathroom.

Lex stood. “Go. I’ll get the door.”

She opened it to the sight of the top of a female head and a male chest. She looked down. Oh, Mimi. She looked up. Who was that?

Mimi pushed her way in. “You really need a larger place, Lex.”

“I’ll remember that when I win Publisher’s Clearinghouse.”

Mimi waved a hand, Vanna-like, at her escort. “Ta-daaaaa!”

Lex looked. Trish came out of the bathroom and looked.

“And?”

Mimi huffed. “Doesn’t he look like Oliver?”

Lex shrank back at the name. Trish took a step toward Mimi. “Are you nuts? What are you doing?”

“Grandma saw Lex last night with Oliver. This is Trey, who looks just like him.”

Trey smiled at Lex.

“You want me to take Trey to the wedding next week?”

“Bingo!” Mimi beamed. “Just be a little lovey-dovey with Trey, here, and Grandma won’t cut funding. I mean, that’s the only reason you were after Slimeball in the first place, right?”

Sort of. She’d wanted to conquer her fear, and Oliver had fit everything on her List. But right now, weren’t her volleyball girls all that mattered?

Lex stared at Trey, and the panic whirled like a class-five hurricane in her stomach, clawed up her throat, and squeezed tight. Her hands shook and she grabbed at the wall next to her.

Mimi saw the gesture, and her smile faded.

Lex couldn’t fail her girls. She couldn’t. It would be so easy to just take Trey to the wedding. She could do it. She could hold his hand -

She bit her lip and tasted blood. She screwed her eyes shut. She breathed in through her nose. Exhaled.

“Lex.”

She opened her eyes to look at Trish.

“You don’t have to do it.” Mimi shook her head.

“I can’t. I’m sorry, Mimi. I appreciate – ”

“That’s okay. Trish told me. Don’t force it. It’s okay.” She nodded and then hustled Trey out of the apartment. “It’ll be okay.” They left.

Now Lex had to tell the junior high girls.

She couldn’t do it. She’d had all the practice, and she couldn’t do it.

Lex sat in the parking lot outside the gym in her car – a rental Venus had gotten for her because Lex went back to work next week.

She stared at the closed gym doors.

She’d failed them. Completely.

She couldn’t pray. She had to pray. God, please. Wasn’t there something He could do?

Silence. But it seemed a friendlier silence than from the months before.

Please do something. She’d wait for Him to do something. She’d wait for Him, even if He didn’t do something.

Her phone chirped. “Hello?”

“It’s Mimi.”

“What’s up?” Lex started up the car.

“I’ve found housing for you.”

Lex slammed on the brakes. “Really?”

“Yeah… with me.”

She wished she could see Mimi’s face, because her voice differed from normal. “In your apartment?”

“No, a few months ago, Mom and Dad got me a condo. My roommate just moved out, and… Want to move in?”

“Where do you live?”

“South San Jose.”

It would be a commute, but… “How much?”

“Free.”

“Free?”

“It’s… kind of a dump. A fixer-upper. If you don’t mind.”

“As long as it’s got a roof and no rats.”

“Oh, yeah, nothing like that. I was going to ask a fix-it guy to room instead, but I know you don’t have anyplace and you’ll be having surgery again soon.”

“Yeah.” Lex had hesitated asking Venus to help her again, taking her away from work.

“Well, I don’t mind taking care of you. And I know you’d be willing to help with renovations once you’re feeling better.”

This whole conversation seemed kind of weird, but hadn’t Lex just been praying? “You’re doing this, why?”

Mimi cleared her throat. Hemmed and hawed a bit. “Well, you need help. I need a roommate. I know you’re strong. You’re the ‘reliable’ cousin, so Mom and Dad won’t freak out if I live with you versus some guy they don’t know. You’re not going to steal my boyfriends. I dunno. Do I need any other reasons?”

“Yeah.”

“How about you score me some sports tickets?”

“I guess I can do that.” She could ask for a few favors from scouts, alumni association reps.

“So we got a deal?”

“When do I move in?”

Lex fingered the diamond earrings. She hated touching them. They were too delicate for her clumsy fingers. She was more comfortable with a volleyball.

Mom had put these on when she came home to die.

Lex had never worn them, partly for that reason. Mom’s face had been tired. She’d given up. It had been a relief.

Lex never gave up. Mom shouldn’t have either.

She knew it was irrational. Mom hadn’t been able to hold back death. But the earrings reminded her of that moment Mom gave in, gave up.

Lex was giving up too. Giving it into God’s hands.

No joyous peace, no incredible assurance that all would be well. Just calm hope, and a little numbness. Maybe it would work out okay, maybe it wouldn’t. She’d wait and see.

She put on the earrings.

Her bridesmaid dress took a little while to struggle into. The floaty skirt in sickly lavender kept tangling around her clumsy knee, and she couldn’t wear the dyed-to-order pumps unless she wanted to tear the other ACL too.

Lex chucked the shoes into a box and reached for her sneakers. The long skirt hid them. Sort of.

Now, crutches or no?

She glared at the crutches against the wall. They had come out when she was vulnerable and in pain.

But what was the point of being strong, or pretending to be? Lex purposely reached up to finger the earrings. She grabbed her purse and the crutches.

Besides, Mariko would go postal when she saw Lex hobbling down the aisle with them.

She went out to the curb. An SUV parked there, but she didn’t see her dad’s car. Lex was already late. Was he late too?

Wait, she knew that SUV.

Aiden walked around the back side and unlocked the trunk.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m your ride.” He took her crutches and slid them into the back.

“Where’s Dad?”

“Already on his way to the church with Mary.”

Lex couldn’t read Aiden’s bland face. “Why?”

“Why should he wait for you when you’d be late as usual?”

She glared.

He grinned.

Grinned.

“I guess I can handle a change in chauffeurs.”

“Before we go, I have something I should have told you a couple weeks ago.”

“If this is about Ike – ”

“No, but it’s about his church.”

“His church? You hate church.”

“I’ve been going to his church.”

Lex swayed. Aiden leaped at her, but she thrust a hand in his face.

“I’m fine. Repeat what you just said.”