Camy Tang - Sushi for One?

“I’ll think about it.”

“Don’t think too long. I have a date tomorrow night.”

I should go look for a condo.” Lex took a bite of Chunky Monkey ice cream and stretched her legs onto the battered oak coffee table.

Trish looked up from the edge of her Cherries Garcia. “What? Why?”

“It’s part of plan B.” She rubbed at a drop of ice cream on the dull orange and muddy brown of the living room couch.

“Kin-Mun was your plan A? Not much of a plan A, if you ask me.”

Lex had expected to feel upset for longer. Could she really get over someone so fast? “I guess I fell for an illusion. Or an ideal.”

Trish stuck her nose back in her ice cream. “Why a condo? I know you were saving money for a down payment, but now it looks like you’ll need that money to pay for the girls’ playoffs travel.”

“I don’t have enough for the entire team’s travel expenses. Besides, I’m sure I can get someone to sponsor the team instead. If they’d ever call me back.” Lex glared at the silent phone.

“It’s a lot of money.” Trish fished out a cherry.

“So, I also need to keep searching for a boyfriend.”

“You don’t need a boyfriend. Just somebody to bring to Mariko’s wedding.”

“Grandma’s expecting a boyfriend, not just a date. She’s going to be looking for some lover-like behavior.” Lex shifted her seat in the sagging couch springs.

“You realize that whoever you bring, Grandma’s just going to complain about something he’s not.”

“What do you mean? She’ll be ecstatic I’m dating. She’ll love him.”

“Wanna bet? It’ll be the same thing she did to Mariko. ‘He’s too short, he’s too tall, he’s too skinny, he’s too fat, he’s not Japanese, he’s not Chinese’… Mariko could never win.”

“Well, Mariko dated some pretty pathetic losers.”

“I think Mariko’s only marrying what’s-his-name because Grandma couldn’t find anything wrong with him.”

“Why should I care what Grandma thinks of my dates, anyway? She’s not the one kissing them good-night.” Suddenly Lex’s throat tightened. She couldn’t swallow her ice cream.

Trish gave a quick, wary look. “Are you going to be okay -?”

“I’m fine.” Lex scraped at her ice cream with her mouth still full.

They ate in silence for a moment, then Lex gave the coffee table a frustrated kick. “Why do we care so much what Grandma thinks? We’re pathetic.”

Trish kept eating. “It’s ingrained fear.”

“Yeah. Even when I know I’m right, it’s hard to disagree. Why are we so intimidated?” Lex took another bite. “She’s only ninety pounds. We could take her.”

Trish ignored Lex’s tongue-in-cheek. “She’s bigger than ninety pounds.”

“What do you mean? She’s only – ”

“No, I mean she’s larger than ninety pounds.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Lex set down her ice cream and stared at the phone, willing it to ring. “Well, I have four months. I’m sure I can find some nice guy.”

“You know, even if you dump him after the wedding, by that time you’ll have found another sponsor for the girls’ team, right?” Trish waggled her spoon at Lex. “Why are you stressing? Just pick up somebody from volleyball or something.”

“I dunno.” Lex crossed her arms and curled up in the sofa. “I hate being forced to do this.”

Trish paused mid-bite. “Are you not ready yet?”

“Of course I’m ready. I just don’t like being prodded like a cow. If I’m going to do this, I’m going to do it my way.”

“What’s the difference? Grandma still gets what she wants.”

“I have control of my life, not her. I’m not going to date every Tomeo, Daiki, and Haruto like Mariko did. I’m ready to date, but I’m not stupid. If I’m going to be out with a guy, he has to pass certain criteria.”

“Criteria? What are you going to do, ask to look at his teeth like a racehorse? Or under his hood like a car? ‘Flip up your shirt, please.

No back hair? Okay, you’ve passed inspection.’ ”

“Baka.” Lex swung a pillow at Trish. “No, I’ve been studying Ephesians in my women’s Bible study. It’s got all the traits of a godly man. I’ve been making a list.”

Trish chortled. “A list? An Ephesians List? I’ll bet it’s a mile long.”

“No, it’s only six points.”

“Just six? Let me guess. Heartbeat? Check. Can read? Check.

Worships the ground I walk on – ”

“Shut up. It’s a good list.” She ticked them off on her fingers.

“One, he has to play volleyball very, very well.” “Oh, that just widens the field. That’s in Ephesians?”

“Well, I have to ‘submit’ to him – you know, ‘wives, submit to your husbands’ – and I’m not submitting to anybody who can’t beat me in volleyball. Two, he has to be physically attractive. It’s the whole ‘oneness’ thing. I have to actually want to ‘be one’ with him.”

Trish snorted with laughter.

“That’s gross! You’re getting ice cream everywhere.”

“Sorry.” Trish covered her mouth.

“Three, he’s got to be Christian.”

“That’s third? Not high on your priorities, hmm?” Trish poked her in the ribs.

“Er… it’s in no specific order. Four, he has to have a good, stable job.”

“Where did Paul say he has to be rich?”

“Not rich. But Ephesians tells men to love their wives just as they feed and care for their bodies. So that means my boyfriend – or future spouse – needs to have enough money to feed and care for me, right? Five, he’ll be faithful. No sexual immorality, impurity, all that stuff.”

“That’s in Ephesians too? I have to read my Bible more.”

“Six, he won’t lie to me. ‘Put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor.’ ”

“How are you going to know if he’s lying?”

“Um…” Lex dropped her legs from the coffee table. “Well, hopefully he won’t. He shouldn’t manipulate me or deceive me in any way.

So, what do you think?”

Trish shrugged. “I guess that’s doable.”

“I just want to be careful, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.” Trish set down her empty carton. “So what’s up with buying a condo?”

“Think about it. A house declares independence. What’s more, to the family, it’s not a form of independence that’s outright defying Grandma. It’s an acceptable form of independence because it’s considered an investment.”

“Oh, I get it.”

“I need to make a statement. Even if I show up at Mariko’s wedding with a boyfriend, I want to show Grandma that I’m not completely under her thumb.”

“Grandma’s not a monster.”

“Easy for you to say, she hasn’t threatened anything important to you.”

“She was actually pretty nice to me the other night.”

“Huh? Why?”

“I introduced her to my new boyfriend.”

“So who’s the flavor of the week?”

“Shut up.” Trish stuck out her tongue, then launched into her giggly mood when talking about a new guy. “I met him when I went out to lunch last week at Sako Sushi. He’s a waiter. He gave me fresh chopsticks.” Trish dimpled. “And he spoke Japanese to Grandma.”

“Score!” She gave Trish a high-five. “No wonder Grandma liked him.”

“I’m telling you, being on Grandma’s good side is better than where you are now. Find a boyfriend.”

“Well, I’ll start at work tomorrow. Maybe my coworkers have some leads.”

Lex entered her tech manufacturing company in the morning to the melodious sounds of the Gorgon and the intern screaming at each other.