Kate Donovan - Exit Strategy

McGregor surprised her by disengaging himself from her arms and taking a full step backward. “Miranda’s in Switzerland? Without authorization? And you knew about it?”

She nodded.

“You arranged it?” He seemed almost dazed, then rallied enough to murmur, “Okay. Let’s hear it.”

She gave him a quick rundown, trying not to notice how green he turned when she detailed the mission to South America, or how narrow his blue eyes became when she described the altercation with Gresley.

“So?” she asked finally. “Am I fired?”

“If this goes south, I’ll definitely have to fire you,” he confirmed.

“And if it succeeds?”

“Then I’ll probably be stuck with you indefinitely.”

Ignoring her groan, McGregor folded his arms across his chest, then leaned back against the kitchen counter. “So? What was it like, seeing your mentor again?”

Uh-oh…

She licked her lips, then admitted, “It was a relief. I thought he’d never leave that mountain again. Not for anything. But he left it for Miranda.”

McGregor shrugged. “And?”

“And he looked different. Acted different. He’s still my friend, and I still care about him, but he doesn’t really fit in anymore. I guess I’m the only one who didn’t know that.” She stepped closer. “Miranda asked me an interesting question the other day. Whether I would want Ray to be the director of SPIN again if he decided to come back.”

“That is an interesting question.”

“Is it?” She smiled wistfully. “To me, it made no sense. Because I couldn’t imagine anyone but you as director now. I wanted Ray back as a friend. As a valuable resource. And because I didn’t want him to be lonely. He’ll always be the founder of SPIN and I’ll always give him credit for that. But you’re the perfect director for us.” She touched his cheek. “I see now that I must have been sending you mixed signals. Sorry.”

He nodded. “The question is, what do we do now?”

“About us?”

“I meant, about Miranda.”

“Oh.” She grimaced. “With Ray there to help her, she’ll be fine. I mean-” she scanned his blue eyes anxiously “-you don’t really think he’s a head case who can’t be trusted to do the right thing, do you?”

“I don’t know.” McGregor’s tone was solemn. “I never knew the guy very well. All I knew was, he gave you a rough time when you worked for him. Then he almost got us all killed. Now he’s been off on his own for a year, doing God knows what.”

“Purifying himself.”

“Give me a break,” McGregor drawled. “Guys like that don’t just leave the game forever, Goldie. It’s in their blood. Either he’s fooling himself, or he’s fooling us. If that’s what’s going on-if he’s using us for his own clandestine purposes, like last time-”

“He isn’t!”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I have to be sure. Because if I’m wrong…” She tried to steady her voice, failed, then explained unhappily, “If I’m wrong, what’s going to happen to Miranda?”

“Come on, Jonathan. It’s a beautiful day! We’re in the Swiss Alps-the prettiest place I’ve ever been. Let’s go outside.”

Miranda’s host gave her a pained smile. “That’s the claustrophobia talking.”

She laughed. “You’re kidding, right? This isn’t exactly a closed-in space. You live in a freaking barn.”

“I’ve been having trouble with allergies lately. And there are security concerns as well. We’re safer indoors.”

“What a nut.” She gave him a smile to assure him she was just teasing. “How many phobias do you have, anyway? I’ve noticed at least eight since I got here. That’s just the tip of the iceberg, right?”

He scowled, but she could see he was secretly enjoying the banter. In fact, she had the distinct impression he hadn’t had this much fun in a long, long time, and it was little wonder. His home was so barren, so cold. Yet for all his strangeness, Kell seemed like a decent man at heart. He was simply scared of his own shadow, not to mention, everyone else’s.

“You’ve been here for three hours and you still haven’t told me what I need to know about your condition,” he reminded her sternly.

“What’s there to say? I’ve got it, I want to get rid of it. So hypnotize me, or give me an injection, or something. It’s been ten years. I’m sure you’ve come up with some new therapies by now. Those old breathing exercises you taught Ray just don’t work for me. I do them, but the results are pathetic.”

“Okay.” He pursed his lips. “Besides claustrophobia, what are your major phobias?”

“That’s the only one.”

“Not possible. A phobic person tends to have a cluster of them.”

“Or in your case, a whole herd of them.”

Kell bit back a smile. “Do you want my help or not?” He studied her intently. “What about bugs? Rodents? The dark? Germs?”

“Everyone’s afraid of the dark. And bugs and rats give everyone the creeps.”

“But if you’re claustrophobic, they’re probably triggers for you. That’s all I’m saying. They trigger your panic, correct? And then you can’t breathe.” He opened a tube of antibacterial cream and rubbed some on his hands as though the mere mention of rats and germs had upset him.

Miranda shrugged her shoulders. “I had a rough experience on the plane. If it hadn’t been for the overhead oxygen jets, I would have started climbing the walls.”

“That’s because claustrophobia isn’t fear of small places at all. It’s fear of running out of air. That’s why a small room with a window that opens is fine, while an elevator of the same size is instantly scary.”

“Elevators. That’s why I’m here, you know. Ray has a fantasy about sex in elevators, but I can’t handle it. We discovered that the night we met. He let it go for a while, then finally started teaching me the stupid breathing exercises.”

“Just so he could make love to you in an elevator?”

“No.” She smiled. “It’s also because he doesn’t want me to be afraid. He’s so brave-so big and strong and fearless-he just can’t stand to think of me being scared. Plus,” she added with a wink, “the danger of being discovered turns him on. Sex in elevators, sex in the back of limousines, sex in alleys. I’m okay with the alley, but the other two get me panicked.”

“Not your typical relationship,” Kell murmured. Then he cleared his throat and asked, “Does it bother him that you have sex with other men?”

“Actually, it’s probably a relief for him, as long as they don’t hurt me. I can’t make any demands for fidelity from him when I’m fooling around with other guys, right?” She sighed. “I don’t really understand him. Such a great guy, but living by himself, except for his one weekend a month with me.”

“He hasn’t told you why he turned his back on society?”

Miranda shook her head. “I’ve always assumed he was bitter. That’s why it surprised me this morning, when you said he was protecting the world, not himself. Why would the world need protection from an insurance investigator?”

“Ask Ortega. It’s not my place to say. Although…” Kell arched an eyebrow. “How does he explain the way he met me?”

“You were kidnapped and held for ransom because of your science stuff. Ray’s company insured your employer, and he went down there to investigate, in case they filed a claim. The bad guy grabbed him, too, and threw you both in some icky, dirty cage. You kept his spirits up with your breathing technique until he managed to kill the bad guy and free you both.”

“That’s what he says? That I kept his spirits up?” Kell’s eyes clouded. “I wouldn’t have lasted a week without him there.”