Alexander Smith: The Double Comfort Safari Club

Perhaps there was a saying warning you against questioning the size of another’s teapot; something like, A teapot is only as large as it needs to be, or Do not talk about the size of another’s teapot when… No, this was nonsense, Mma Makutsi decided, and there was no reason at all why she should not raise the matter with Mma Ramotswe, who was reasonable, after all, and full of proverbs too.

“I’ve been thinking,” she began.

Mma Ramotswe looked up from her desk. She smiled. “Thinking? We all have a lot to think about, I suppose.”

Mma Makutsi busied herself with the kettle. “Yes, Mma. You know how sometimes a good idea comes to you? You don’t necessarily think about it deliberately, but it just comes. And there you have your idea.”

“Yes,” said Mma Ramotswe. “And what idea do you have, Mma Makutsi? I’m sure it will be a good one.” She was always polite-and encouraging too; a lesser employer might have said, Thinking? There is work to do, Mma! Or, even more discouragingly, I am the one to do the thinking round here, Mma!

Mma Makutsi glanced at Mma Ramotswe. There was no trace of sarcasm in her voice; Mma Ramotswe did not believe in sarcasm. “This idea is about teapots. About efficiency and teapots. Yes, it’s about those two things.”

“Good,” said Mma Ramotswe. “Anybody who could invent a more efficient teapot would be doing a great service to…” She paused, before concluding: “to all tea-drinking people.”

Mma Makutsi swallowed; sometimes it was easier to deal with a hostile reaction rather than a welcoming one. “Well, I don’t think I could invent a new teapot, Mma. I am not that sort of person. But-”

Mma Ramotswe interrupted her with a laugh. “Anybody can invent something, Mma. Even you and I-we might invent something. You do not have to be a scientist to invent something very important. Some inventions just happen. Penicillin. You know about that?”

Mma Makutsi saw the conversation drifting away from teapots. “I was wondering…”

“We were taught about penicillin in school,” Mma Ramotswe mused. “At Mochudi. We were taught about the man who found penicillin growing in…” She tailed off. Again, it was hard to remember, even if she could see herself quite clearly in the school on the top of the kopje overlooking Mochudi, with the morning sun coming through the window, illuminating in its shafts of light the little flecks of floating dust; and the voice of the teacher telling them about the great inventions that had changed the world. Everything, all these great things, had happened so far away-or so it seemed to her at the time. The world was made to sound as if it belonged to other people-to those who lived in distant countries that were so different from Botswana; that was before people had learned to assert that the world was theirs too, that what happened in Botswana was every bit as important, and valuable, as what happened anywhere else.

But where had that doctor grown the penicillin that was to save so many lives? In his garden? She thought not. It was in his laboratory somewhere, perhaps in a cup of tea that he left on a windowsill, as Mr. J.L.B. Matekoni had done once and Mma Ramotswe had discovered it, months later, when the half-finished liquid had turned to green mould.

“In a cup of tea,” she said hesitantly. “Maybe. Or in a saucer, perhaps.”

“That is very interesting, Mma,” said Mma Makutsi briskly. “But I have been thinking about a more efficient way of making the tea in this office. I am not interested in making penicillin or inventing anything.”

Mma Ramotswe nodded encouragingly. “It is a good thing to be efficient,” she said.

Mma Makutsi seized her chance. “So why don’t we use the big teapot to make the ordinary tea,” she said. “There are always more people wanting ordinary tea-Mr. Polopetsi, for instance, and Charlie and Fanwell. If we made the ordinary tea in that big pot, then I would not have to make a second pot.” She paused. “And it would make no difference to your red bush tea, Mma. You would still have more than enough.”

For a few moments Mma Ramotswe said nothing. I’ve offended her, thought Mma Makutsi. I shouldn’t have spoken about this. But then Mma Ramotswe, who had been looking out of the window, as if pondering this casually lobbed bombshell, turned to Mma Makutsi and smiled. “That is a very good idea, Mma,” she said. “Every business needs new ideas, and that is one. Change the pots next time you make tea.” She paused. “I do not mind having the smaller pot. Not at all.” And then, after a further pause, “Even if I have always loved that big teapot.”

“Then you must still have it,” said Mma Makutsi quickly. “Efficiency isn’t the only thing, Mma.”

Mma Ramotswe shook her head. “No, what you said, Mma, is quite right. There is no point in filling a big teapot with red bush tea if I am the only one who drinks it. I do not want to be selfish.”

You are never selfish, thought Mma Makutsi, ruefully. Never. I am the selfish one. “But I did not mean to take it from you,” she said. And she tried to explain: this was no act of petty office self-aggrandisement; it was not that. Nor was it the act of a bored bureaucrat, of one of those who sought to bring about change in the well-ordered ways of others simply because they had to find something to do. It was not that, either. “I am not one of those people who change everything just to make it more efficient.”

“I know you aren’t,” said Mma Ramotswe. “But you are still right.”

Mma Makutsi, in her misery, looked down at her shoes, as she often did at such moments. She was wearing her everyday footwear-a pair of brown shoes with rather frayed edges, shoes that had the look of experience. They looked back at her with that slight air of superiority that her shoes tended to effect. Don’t look at us, Boss, the shoes said. It was your big idea, not ours. We don’t go around trying to change things, do we? We do not.

AS IT HAPPENED, there were few takers for tea that morning, as the mechanics were busier than usual and unable to take the time off. An hour or so later, though, Charlie came in to report that he was going out to fetch a spare part for Mr. J.L.B. Matekoni, and would be happy to see if there was any mail in the mailbox near the Riverside filling station. His offer was accepted, and he returned twenty minutes later with a bundle of letters, which he placed on Mma Ramotswe’s desk.

“There is only one interesting letter there,” he said. “It is from a place in the United States. I can tell from the stamp. Wow! One, two, three!”

Mma Makutsi looked at him with irritation. “It is none of your business,” she said. “Our letters are none of your business, Charlie. You are just a mechanic-not a detective.” Her irritation suddenly changed to pleasure as she contemplated her next observation. “Actually, you are just an apprentice, not a proper mechanic yet.”

It was a telling blow. Charlie and Fanwell had not made great progress with their apprenticeships, largely because of their failure to apply themselves to the regular examinations that the Apprenticeship Board required. Fanwell, at least, had an excuse for this, as he was chronically dyslexic and, although intelligent, had difficulty understanding examination questions. Charlie, who was both intelligent and a quick reader, could claim only fecklessness as an excuse, if it were an excuse, which of course it was not.

“It is addressed to Mma Ramotswe,” he snapped. “Not to you.”

Mma Ramotswe made a calming gesture; she did not like the arguments that seemed to flare up between these two, nor any arguments, for that matter. “I do not mind,” she muttered as she extracted the white airmail letter from the pile of manila envelopes.