Bobbi Smith - Captive Pride

CC stood perfectly still in his madly passionate embrace. She knew there was no point in struggling against him and that soon he would realize she wasn’t responding and release her.

Her prediction came true as John thrust CC from him in disgust. “So that’s the end of it…” His eyes bored into her, the agony of her final rejection mingling there with his anger at his own weakness for her.

“It has to be, John. There’s no other way. I’m sorry.”

In that moment in a flash of revelation CC saw her own situation mirrored in John’s emotions. He loved her just as she loved Noah…hopelessly, without a chance for any kind of future together.

“Good-bye, CC. I hope someday you find your true happiness.” With that he left the room, the closing of the front door giving testimony to his complete departure from her life.

CC lifted a trembling hand to her lips as she drew an unsteady breath. It was over. John was gone. The relief she felt was immense, but the sympathy she felt for him ran deep. How terrible it was to care for someone who could never return your feelings…

Noah had made it plain to her from the beginning that he had only been “taking what she was offering.” Instead of fighting him the other night in the carriage and insisting that his opinion of her was wrong, she had fallen into his arms without protest like a fool. She shook her head in despair as she realized that, like John, there could be no happy ending for her either. Lord Noah Kincade had used her, and she had allowed him to do it. He had felt no emotion for her but lust. When the spring came he would return to England, and she would never see him again.

The pain that that last thought brought was devastating and she sank down on the sofa, lost in a haze of loneliness that was so powerful it frightened her. She recognized now, as the agony of the truth of her feelings engulfed her, that she loved Noah. She hadn’t wanted to. She had fought it with all her might, but sometimes the heart just refused to follow the dictates of the mind.

“Miss CC?” Anna’s voice interrupted her thoughts.

“What?” She looked up, a bit startled to find her maid standing in the parlor doorway.

“Are you all right? You look a bit pale… Is there anything I can get for you?”

“I’ll be fine, Anna,” she answered, thinking that the one thing she really needed, she would never have…Noah Kincade’s love.

“If you’re sure, miss…”

“Yes, I’m sure.” Her tone was melancholy, and Anna could only guess at the cause as she left her mistress alone with her thoughts.

CC stared aghast at Ryan Graves. “Surely you aren’t serious. There must be someone else who can do this…”

“I’m sorry, CC. Both Joshua and I are willing to make the trip,” he replied, gesturing to Joshua Smith and himself, “but you’re the only one who could go in there without drawing attention to yourself.”

She shook her head quickly. “No. I can’t do it, Ryan.”

The rebel leader was stunned by her refusal. “CC, we have to get this money to Lord Kincade. We promised him over a week ago that he would have it soon, and I’m sure he’s wondering at the delay in the initial payment. If I try to deliver it…” Ryan hesitated, glancing poignantly at Joshua. “There’s no telling what might happen.”

“I don’t understand. What could possibly happen if you give it to him?”

Ryan’s expression hardened. “We have it from a reliable source that Lord Kincade’s movements about town are being monitored. We don’t know if he’s aware of the surveillance or not, and we can’t take any chances. The deal is too close to fruition. We have to see it through. It has to be you, CC. You’re the only one who is not regularly known.”

CC vacillated, tormented by the decision she had to make. She did not want to see Noah again, yet if the entire arms deal was to fall through because of her refusal to take the money to him at the inn…she hesitated to answer, knowing that she couldn’t tell them the real reason why.

Joshua Smith sighed in very real exasperation as his gaze rested coldly upon her. “I told you we shouldn’t allow a woman to be included in any of this, disguise or no disguise. This is men’s business, and females shouldn’t have a part in it.”

Joshua’s words stung her pride, as he’d hoped they would, and she stiffened as she answered, “I’ll do it.”

“Thank you, CC.” Ryan slanted Joshua a triumphant look as he handed her the wrapped parcel that contained the first of the two payments they’d agreed upon for the shipment.

“Does Kincade know I’m coming?”

“No. We didn’t even want to risk sending a message.”

“I see.” She frowned slightly at the thought of arriving unannounced. “What if he isn’t at the inn?”

“He should be,” Ryan answered, noting the time, “but if for some reason he isn’t, just keep the package with you until you can make contact with him. Then report back to me to let me know how everything went. I’ll be here until midnight tonight. If you have any problems and don’t get the money to him until tomorrow, you can send word to me at home.”

“Fine.”

“Also, I’ve enclosed a letter with the money explaining the situation to him, so you won’t have to. The less time you spend with him, the better off you’ll be. We don’t want to put you in danger either.”

“I appreciate that.”

“Good. I’ll be expecting to hear from you within the next eighteen hours,” Ryan told her seriously. “And remember, caution is the word of the day. Be as inconspicuous as you can.”

“I’ll be careful,” she promised.

“Good luck.”

Carrying the parcel under her arm as if it were of little importance, CC strode from the room in her practiced boyish style. She left the safety of the Green Dragon and went out into the dark of the early Boston night, all the while pensively wondering who it could be who was so interested in Noah that they would be having him watched.

Joshua looked at Ryan, his expression worried. “Do you think she’ll be all right?”

“I hope so,” Ryan replied tensely. “We have a lot riding on this deal and I don’t want anything to go wrong.”

“Why do you think she refused at first? Do you think she was too afraid?”

Ryan frowned thoughtfully. “No. I think I know CC fairly well and she doesn’t frighten easily. I’m not sure why she didn’t want to have any contact with Kincade. Maybe she thought that he might discover her true identity. After all, he does do some business with her father.”

“That’s true,” Joshua nodded. “But I’m sure she’ll do fine. All she’s got to do is to make sure he gets the package. Minimal contact. Nothing else. It shouldn’t prove too difficult.”

Noah sat in the taproom drinking a mug of ale and listening with little interest to the conversations flowing about him. Though it was early evening, he was already thinking of retiring to his chamber for the night, not so much because he was tired as because he was bored. The day had passed relatively quickly for him as he’d worked with Lyle on board the Lorelei in preparation for the ship’s departure on the short trip to the islands, but now the night stretched out before him in endless monotony. Matt had gone to visit Faith, and he was alone.

“Can I get you another drink, m’lord?” Polly sidled up to his table and brushed slightly against him.

“Yes, Polly, I do believe I’ll have one more.” Noah smiled with cool politeness, taking care that she read no invitation in his expression.

Polly’s expectant look faded as she noted his lack of interest. “I’ll be right back with your ale.”