Justin Cronin - The Passage

“It’s new moon. You shouldn’t be out here.”

New moon, Michael thought. What was so important about the new moon?

“Look, that’s what he said. Take it up with him if you want.”

“I don’t see how you’re going to make it back in time.”

“Let me worry about that. Are you going to let me through or not?”

A tense silence. Then: “Just be back by dark.”

Now, sometime later, Michael felt the truck slowing once again. He drew the tarp aside. A purpling evening sky and behind them, in the truck’s wake, a boiling cloud of dust. The mountains were a distant bulge against the horizon.

“You can come out now.”

Billie was standing at the tailgate. Michael climbed from the truck bed, grateful to move at last. They had parked outside a massive metal shed, at least two hundred meters long, with a bulging convex roof. He saw the rusted shape of fuel tanks behind it. The land was lined with railroad tracks, heading off in all directions.

A small door opened in the side of the building; a man emerged and walked toward them. His skin was covered in grease and oil, so much that his face was practically black with it; he was holding something in his hands, working at it with a filthy rag. He stopped where they were standing and looked Michael up and down. A short-barreled shotgun was holstered to his leg. Michael remembered him as the driver of the van that had brought them from Las Vegas.

“This him?”

Billie nodded.

The man moved forward so their faces were just inches apart and peered into Michael’s eyes. First one eye, then the other, shifting his head back and forth. His breath was sour, like spoiled milk. His teeth were lined in black. Michael had to force himself not to pull away.

“How much did you give him?”

“Enough,” Billie said.

The man gave him one more skeptical look, then stepped back and shot a jet of brown spit onto the hardpan. “I’m Gus.”

“Michael.”

“I know who you are.” He held up the object for Michael to see. “You know what this is?”

Michael took it in his hand. “It’s a solenoid, twenty-four volts. I’d say it comes off a fuel pump, a big one.”

“Yeah? What’s wrong with it?”

Michael passed it back, shrugging. “Nothing I can see.”

Gus looked at Billie, frowning. “He’s right.”

“I told you.”

“She says you know about electrical systems. Wiring harnesses, generators, controller units.”

Michael shrugged again. He was still reluctant to say too much, but something, some instinct, was telling him he could trust these two. They hadn’t brought him all this way for nothing.

“Let me see what you’ve got.”

They crossed the railyard to the shed. Michael could hear, from inside, the roar of portable generators, the clang of tools. They entered through the same door the man had emerged from. The interior of the shed was vast, the space illuminated by spotlights on tall poles. More men in greasy jumpsuits were moving about.

What Michael saw stopped him where he stood.

It was a train. A diesel locomotive. And not some rusted derelict, either. The damn thing looked like it could actually run. It was covered in protective metal plating, three-quarter-inch steel at least. A huge plow jutted from the front of the engine; more steel plates were riveted over the windshield, leaving only a thin slit of exposed glass for the driver to see by. Three boxy compartments sat behind it.

“The mechanicals and pneumatics are all up and running,” Gus said. “We charged the eight-volts using the portables. It’s the electrical harness that’s the problem. We can’t pull a current from the batteries to the pump.”

The blood was racing through Michael’s veins. He took a breath to calm himself. “Do you have schematics?”

Gus led him to a makeshift desk where he’d laid out the drawings, broad sheets of brittle paper covered in blue ink. Michael looked them over.

“This is a rat’s nest,” he said after a moment. “It could take me weeks to find the problem.”

“We don’t have weeks,” Billie said.

Michael lifted his face to look at them. “How long have you been working on this thing?”

“Four years,” Gus said. “Give or take.”

“So how much time do I have?”

Billie and Gus exchanged a worried glance.

“About three hours,” said Billie.

“Theo.”

He was in the kitchen again. The drawer was open; the knife lay gleaming there. Tucked in the drawer like a baby in its crib.

“Theo, come on now. I’m telling you, all you got to do is pick it up and do her. You do her and this will all be over.”

The voice. The voice that knew his name, that seemed to crawl around inside his head, waking and sleeping. Part of his mind was in the kitchen, while another part was in the cell, the cell where he had been for days and days, fighting sleep, fighting the dream.

“Is that so fucking hard? Am I not being absolutely clear here?”

He opened his eyes; the kitchen vanished. He was sitting on the edge of the cot. The cell with its door and its stinking hole that ate his piss and shit. Who knew what time it was, what day, what month, what year. He had been in this place forever.

“Theo? Are you listening to me?”

He licked his lips, tasting blood. Had he bitten his tongue? “What do you want?”

A sigh from the far side of the door. “I gotta say, Theo. You do impress me. Nobody holds out like this. I think you’ve got some kind of record going.”

Theo said nothing. What was the point? The voice never answered his questions. If there even was a voice. Sometimes he thought it was just something in his head.

“I mean some, sure,” the voice went on. “In some cases you could say it goes against the grain, carving the old bitch up.” A dark chuckle, like something from the bottom of a pit. “Believe me, I’ve seen people do the damnedest shit.”

It was terrible, Theo thought, what staying awake could do to a person’s mind. You went without sleep long enough, you made your brain stand up and walk around day after day after day no matter how tired you felt-you did push-ups and sit-ups on the cold stone floor until your muscles burned, you scratched and slapped yourself and dug at your own flesh with your bloodied nails to keep awake-and before long you didn’t know which was which, if you were awake or asleep. Everything got blended together. A sensation like pain-only worse, because it wasn’t a pain in your body; the pain was your mind and your mind was you. You were pain itself.

“You mark my words, Theo. You do not want to go there. That was not a story with a happy ending.”

He felt his awareness folding again, taking him down into sleep. He dug his nails hard into his palm. Stay. Awake. Theo . Because there was something worse than staying awake, he knew.

“Sooner or later everybody comes around, is what I’m saying, Theo.”

“Why do you keep using my name?”

“I’m sorry? Theo, did you ask me something?”

He swallowed, tasting blood again, the foulness of his own mouth. His head was in his hands. “My name. You’re always saying it.”

“Just trying to get your attention. You haven’t been yourself much these last few days, if you’ll pardon my saying so.”

Theo said nothing.

“So okay,” the voice went on. “You don’t want me to use your name. Don’t see why not, but I can live with that. Let’s change the subject. What are your thoughts on Alicia? Because I do believe that girl is something special.”

Alicia? The voice was talking about Alicia? It simply wasn’t possible. But nothing was, that was the thing. The voice was always saying things that were impossible.