Jo Leigh - One-Click Buy - September Harlequin Blaze

Even her parents had zoned right in on her mood when she’d gone to visit them Sunday. She’d tried so hard to paste on a smile, especially around her father, who was just now starting to seem like his old self. But her mother had immediately noticed something was wrong and had questioned her about it.

She’d covered…promising everything was fine.

One more lie to add to her list. She was becoming quite adept at it. And frankly, she hated herself for that.

“You deserve to feel this way,” she told herself as she sat in the closed bakery a few evenings later. It was her quiet time again, when the café staff had left for the day but the evening kitchen and delivery help hadn’t arrived. She was sipping a big, fattening cappuccino laden not only with whipped cream but a swirl of caramel. Feeling like absolute scum.

“Iz?” a voice called. A female one.

Turning on her stool, she saw her cousin, Bridget, enter through the employees’ entrance in the back.

“Hey,” Izzie mumbled.

“I’ve been calling.”

“I don’t usually answer the phone after hours.”

Bridget frowned. “I mean your cell phone.”

“Turned off.” Izzie blew on the steaming coffee drink. “There’s more if you want to make yourself one.”

Bridget looked longingly at the mug and fresh whipped cream and got to work. She remained quiet as she did it, but Izzie saw the worried sidelong glances her cousin cast her way.

When Bridget had finished-topping her hot drink with a sprinkle of cinnamon-she took a seat on the opposite side of the counter. “You look like hell. You haven’t been sleeping.”

“Thanks. And you’re right. I haven’t been.”

Bridget sighed. “Me, neither.”

Finally looking seriously at her cousin, she saw the dark circles under her pretty eyes and the droop of her normally smiling mouth. It was an unusual combination. Bridget was not the cheerful, constantly giddy sort, but she was always quietly happy. And her face reflected that.

Not today, though. “What’s wrong?”

“I hate men.”

“I hear ya,” Izzie mumbled, though her heart wasn’t in it. She didn’t hate Nick, not at all. She just hated that look of disappointment on his face. Hated how it made her feel.

Low. Rotten.

Yes, she’d had a reason to keep her identity hidden from most of the world. But once she’d let Nick lay her down in the back of that van and do things to her that would cause a real good little Catholic girl to faint of shock, all masks should have been torn away.

“I don’t understand them.”

Sensing her cousin was talking about one man in particular, Izzie set aside her own emotional misery. “What’s going on?”

“It’s that guy at work I mentioned a few weeks ago. Dean.”

“The new salesman?”

Bridget nodded. “I finally met him for coffee one day, kind of figuring it was our first date. But obviously I totally misread him. He made it clear he was just interested in getting to know a coworker. And he hasn’t asked me out again.”

Izzie frowned, disliking the look of unhappiness on Bridget’s face. “Have you made it clear you’re interested?”

“I went out with him, didn’t I?”

“Yes, but did you make it clear that you were looking at him as more than just a coworker?”

“How was I supposed to do that?”

“I don’t know-flirting, smiling, brushing up against him. All the typical weapons of the female romantic arsenal.”

“I…don’t suppose I did. We talked mostly about business…at least when I wasn’t griping about my landlord.”

“So, he might not even know you’re interested in him that way. Which means, you need to let him know, then figure out if he gave you the brush or retreated out of self-preservation.”

Bridget blinked. “Self-preservation?”

“Some men won’t make a move on a woman unless they’re sure she’s interested. It takes a lot of self-confidence.”

Self-confidence like Nick’s. It had taken a boatload of it for him to keep pursuing her when she’d kept turning him down.

“Is that what you would do? Make it more obvious?”

“Yeah. I would.”

Her cousin mumbled something, then cleared her throat. “You know, I’d think you’re right. But there’s something about Dean that makes me think he’s not quite as nice and shy as he seems.”

Izzie instantly stiffened. “Has he done anything to you?”

“Done? Oh, goodness, no. He’s barely looked at me since the day we went out. But there have been one or two times when I’ve caught him staring at me-with this, oh, God, it sounds so stupid, but I’d swear he looks almost hungrily at me when he thinks I’m not looking.”

“Hungry’s good. If it’s coming from someone you want to want you.” Not just a room full of horny men turned on by a naked dancer. Her audience sometimes annoyed the hell out of her. Sometimes it seemed like dancing naked alone would be better than dancing naked in front of a crowd. Of course, she wouldn’t get paid for that. A definite drawback.

“Not if he constantly hides it. And there’s more, he sometimes just comes across so much harder-tougher-than this nice, quiet, soft-spoken salesman. It’s almost like he’s trying really hard to be on his best behavior.”

Izzie didn’t like the sound of that. Guys who tried that hard to be on their best behavior had to be pretty bad during their not-quite-best behavior. She said as much to her cousin, but Bridget waved away her concerns.

Though they talked a little while longer, Izzie couldn’t keep her mind on anything. Her cousin noticed her distraction and tried to get her to talk about it, but she wasn’t ready to.

It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Bridget to keep her secret. Or that she feared her cousin would be shocked by it. But the truth was, it didn’t seem right for Bridget to be the one she talked to about this. Not when Nick was the first one who’d realized what she was doing on Saturday and Sunday nights.

She wanted to talk to him.

She wanted him. Period.

She just didn’t know if it was too late to get him. Judging by the way he’d slammed out of her dressing room Saturday night, she greatly feared it was.

IT TOOK EVERY OUNCE of willpower Nick possessed to avoid going into Natale’s Bakery that week. Something inside him insisted that he go up there and confront Izzie now that he felt at least moderately calm. Unlike the way he’d felt Saturday night at the club.

Something else demanded that he stay away, let her figure out what the hell it was she wanted from him and clue him in when she was ready. Maybe he’d accommodate her. Maybe he wouldn’t. It depended entirely upon what she wanted: him in her life, him out of her life? A secret affair, or a public one? A lover…a friend?

There were a lot of different possibilities. He honestly wasn’t sure which he was most hoping for. The only thing he knew he wanted was for Izzie to come clean with him about everything. Then they could figure out the rest.

He assumed it would take a while. Considering she’d called in sick from work Sunday night, he had the feeling she was going to avoid the confrontation for as long as possible. But, unless she quit working at the club, she wasn’t going to be able to avoid him forever.

Quit working at the club. He couldn’t deny that his first reaction had been to want her to.

He didn’t want other men looking at Izzie. He didn’t want other men fantasizing about her. And he most certainly didn’t want anyone getting fixated on her…fixated enough to stalk her, threaten her or hurt her.

Once he’d calmed down, though, he realized he understood exactly why she’d gone to work at Leather and Lace. It was probably for the same reasons he’d gone to work there.