Iain Banks - Against a Dark Background

“So don’t!” she said through her teeth.

“It’s too late to back out now,” he told her. “I have a tame official who’s going to help; he’s terribly excited about it all.”

“Oh, good grief,” she groaned.

“It’s so easy,” he said, leaning close to her again. “I thought it was crazy too, when it was first suggested, but the more I looked into it, and found out the truth of where and how it’s stored, the easier I realised it was going to be. It’d be crazy not to do it.”

“In other words,” she said. “You got bored.”

“Na,” he said, waving with one hand and looking flattered.

“So,” she said. “How do you propose to set about this probably suicidal task?”

“Hey, kid,” he said, beaming a smile at her and putting his arms wide. “Am I the Tech King, or not?”

“You are, after all, the Tech King, Miz, of course,” she said, a dubious expression on her face. “But-”

“Look; it’s all set up,” he dropped his voice again and sat closer. “The technical part of it’s over, really; it’s just putting the final human bits of it together that I’ve been working on.” He looked at her carefully, to see how he was doing. “Look,” he said, putting on his most winning smile, “it’ll be fine. I’m serious; there won’t even be a fuss, dammit. They won’t even know the thing’s actually gone until I tell them; this is a totally beautiful plan I have here and you’ll thank me later for letting you become a part of what is not so much a theft but more of a work of art in itself, really. Honestly. And like I say, I can even bring it forward now you guys are here so it’ll all be over by the time we have to start out-running the Huhsz. If you’ll help. Will you help?”

She looked deeply suspicious. “If you can convince me this plan’s viable and we won’t all spend the rest of our lives on the hand-pumps in some prison-hulk eating plankton, yes.”

“Ah,” Miz laughed, slapping her knee. “No danger of that.”

“No?”

“Na.” He shook his head adamantly. “They’d kill us three and turn you over to the Huhsz for the reward.”

“Oh, thanks.”

He looked instantly stricken with contrition. “So sorry. That wasn’t very funny, was it?”

“Am I laughing?” She put her dark glasses back on and sipped her drink.

Miz pursed his lips. “This stuff about the Huhsz,” he said. “There no other way out?”

“I stay ahead of them for a year, or get them their Lazy Gun.” She shrugged. “That’s it.”

“They can’t be bought off?”

“Certainly they can; by giving them the Gun.”

“But not with, like, money?”

“No, Miz. It’s a matter of dogma; faith.”

“Yeah,” he said. “So?” He looked genuinely puzzled.

“The answer is no,” Sharrow said patiently. “They can’t be bought off.”

“Anyway,” Miz said, and tapped her on the shoulder with one finger, a knowing look on his face. “The Tech King has thought up a way of slowing the bad guys down.” He winked at her.

“Oh yes?”

“Ever been to the K’lel desert?”

She shook her head.

“Or Aïs city?” Miz asked, grinning.

“Too arid for my taste,” Sharrow smiled, rubbing her fingers up and down the stem of her glass. “I’m a moist kind of girl really, deep down.”

Miz crossed his eyes for a moment. “Please,” he said, sighing theatrically. He cleared his throat. “I’m serious.” He leaned close again. “These Passports are the World Court extra-specials, aren’t they? The unloseable ones with this weird sort of warp-type hole thingy in them?”

She frowned. “You’re losing me with all this technical jargon, Tech King.”

He slapped her thigh gently. “You know what I mean; the nano-event holes left over after the AIT Accident. Each Passport’ll incorporate one of them, won’t it?”

“Yes,” she said.

“And they’ll be coming out of Yada to be initiated at the Huhsz World Shrine?”

“I imagine so, but…”

He sat back, tapping the side of his head. “I have a Fiendish Plan, my Leader,” he said.

She shook her head, sighing. “And I thought you might have gotten sensible in your old age.”

“Perish the thought.” He grimaced. “And anyway; you’re the one wants to go looking for a book that hasn’t been heard of for a millennium without even the benefit of a paying contract in the vague hope it’ll somehow lead to a Lazy Gun.”

“Yes,” she said, dropping her voice and putting her face close to his. “But the book is only lost , not the most heavily guarded piece of jewellery on the fucking planet.”

Miz waved this distinction away with one hand as though it was a bothersome fly. “Did you get your contract set up with the Sea House guys?”

“Spoke to them this morning. Scale Two exes.”

“Huh. They handling it themselves?”

She shook her head. “Agency called The Keep.”

“The Keep?” Miz frowned. “Never heard of them.”

“Me neither; must be new. Seem to know what they’re talking about.”

“What is this damn book, anyway?” Miz asked, sounding annoyed. “The U.P.; what’s it about?”

Sharrow shrugged. “The only known part of the text is the dedication page; that gives a very rough idea, but the whole point of the fashion for noble houses commissioning Unique books was that the contents stayed a secret. For what it’s worth, just going on the names involved, this Unique’s meant to be the best of them.”

“Hmm. Maybe I’ll wait till they make the holo.” He shrugged. “And anyway, how come you think you can track it down when nobody else has been able to?”

“Gorko,” Sharrow said. “And Breyguhn.”

“What, your grampa?”

“Yes. According to Breyguhn, Gorko found out where the book was, but didn’t try to lift it. He’s supposed to have left a record of where it is, or was. Breyguhn claims she knows how I can get hold of this information.”

Miz thought about this, then said, “Shit, yes, the book. That’s what she was after when she broke into the Sea House, wasn’t it?”

“Yes. And she thinks she’s on the trail now.” Sharrow shrugged. “Or she could be having a joke at my expense.”

“A joke?” Miz looked intrigued.

She shook her head. “Wait till you hear how I’m supposed to access the information Breyguhn’s found.”

“Tell me now; I hate being teased.”

“No.”

“Tell me!” he said, leaning closer and tickling her waist.

She stifled a shriek and tried to slide away, slapping his hand. “Stop that! Behave yourself!” She held up her glass in front of her. “Look at this. See; empty.”

He stopped trying to tickle her and looked round for a waiter, a wide grin on his face. His expression changed as he looked back up the ramp to the barge. “Ah,” he said. “Somebody I’d like you to meet. Back in a trice.” He sprang from the shell-boat, leaving it rocking.

She watched him go as he paced up the pontoon, waving at some people calling from another shell-boat.

Sharrow sat back in the seat, staring into the middle distance where another aim of the Log-jam sparkled in the sunshine, light reflecting off a thousand windows of a floating apartment block. The Crownstar Addendum, she thought. Oh dear. She had the unnerving feeling that they were all going off the rails; Miz trying to stay young by getting involved with this preposterous scheme to snatch one of the system’s most secure treasures; Cenuij chasing scar-girls in Lip; Zefla getting wasted every night, and Dloan becoming a screen-junkie. As for herself, she was just getting old, mired in banality.