Tami Hoag - Heart of Gold

He shoved the gun into his shoulder holster, feeling just a tad bit foolish for having pulled it in the first place. “Don’t change the subject,” he grumbled. “Dr. Moore let you come home on the condition you stay in bed.”

“Why should you care?” Faith asked, tilting her little chin up to the unmistakable angle of challenge. “You’re leaving in a few hours anyway.”

Shane’s shoulders sagged. He dragged a hand back through his hair, heaving a weary sigh as he glanced down at the floor. “Dammit, Faith, you know I care.”

“I know you’re leaving.”

“I have to.” Why did she have to make this harder than it already was, he wondered as he turned and stared out the window. The only thing he saw as he looked out was the reflection of a lonely man. “My life is back in Washington. What happened to you reminded me of that in a way nothing else could. I don’t belong here, Faith.”

“Fine,” she said, wincing as she forgot herself and tried to shrug. “Then I’m going with you.”

Shane wheeled and glared at her. “What?”

“You heard me. I’ll go downstairs and pack right now.”

“You can’t come to Washington with me.”

She arched a delicate brow in arrogant question. “No? Just you try and stop me, Shane Callan. It’s a free country. I can go to Washington if I want to.”

“Faith,” he said tightly, advancing on her, pointing a forefinger at her as if it were the barrel of a gun. “I’m warning you-”

“Warn me all you want,” she said with a sassy toss of her head. “I’m going.”

“What about the inn?”

“I’d rather be with you than the inn. Lord only knows why.”

Temper brought a rush of color to Shane’s high cheekbones and flared his nostrils. He jammed his hands on his hips just to keep from reaching out and shaking the infuriating little vixen. “Of all the damn, stubborn-”

“You’d better believe it, mister,” Faith said, her chin coming up another notch. “I’ve had it up to here with men manipulating my life. I will not let you walk away just because you think it’s best for me. I know what’s best for me.”

“Oh? Was getting kidnapped good for you? Was getting shot good for you?”

“Is running away from love good for you?” Her question was met with a silence so tense it seemed brittle. Shane stared at her as if she had slapped him. She’d hit a nerve. Thank heaven. Oh, please, she prayed as she drew in a slow, deep breath. “That’s what you’re doing. Running. We have something special between us, Shane. It won’t be good for either one of us if you push that away.”

Retreating a step, Shane felt all the anger rush out of him. “I’m just trying to save you, Faith. Can’t you see that? The life I live doesn’t allow for love.”

“Then leave it,” she said softly, never taking her eyes from his face. “If that’s all that’s standing between us, leave it. I know your job is important, and I’ll share you with it if I have to, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let it take you away from me.”

Shane squeezed his eyes shut. Didn’t she know how badly he wanted to take what she offered? Didn’t she realize he was doing the right thing by turning away?

Are you? that inner voice questioned.

“Even if I did quit the agency,” he said, trying to answer his own doubts as much as he was trying to answer Faith’s, “the job would always be a part of me. The things I’ve done…” His words trailed off on a tight sigh, and he started over. “I’ve crossed swords with a lot of bad people, honey. I thought I’d left Adam Strauss in the past, but the past will never be entirely behind me. I can’t guarantee something like that won’t happen again.”

“And one of these days while you’re busy worrying about it, you’re going to step off the curb and get hit by a bus.”

Her strange statement pulled Shane away from his melancholy mood. He shot her an annoyed glance, his dark brows riding low over flashing silver eyes. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It means worrying about something that might never happen is irrational. We can’t know what the future will hold. All we can do is grab what we have now and hang on.” Taking a big chance that her legs were strong enough to hold her up, she let go of the bedpost and stepped toward him. She locked her earnest gaze on Shane’s wary gray eyes. Her heart beat a wild rhythm of hope and fear. “I love you, Shane Callan. You love me. Please don’t walk away from that. What we have is far too special to let ghosts and fears steal it away from us.”

Oh, Lord, Shane thought as he stared down into those soft dark eyes, I don’t think I’m strong enough to walk away from her.

Or was it staying that took more courage? This sweet, good woman was willing to share her life with him. Did he have the guts to put his past behind him and start a fresh new life? He had dreaded the bleakness of his future without Faith, but the idea of loving her and having her love him in return scared the hell out of him. What did he know of love and family? Nothing. Did he even deserve the chance to find out?

With a hand that was trembling slightly, Shane reached out and cupped Faith’s rounded cheek. She was so soft. His fingertips tingled where they rubbed against the fine silk of her dark gold curls. The desire to wrap her up and hold her forever was an ache in his chest he was certain would never leave him. She fit in his arms like a puzzle piece that had been missing from his life. He knew he would never feel complete without her.

“I’m a jaded, cynical cop,” he said. “I’ve seen too much of the ugly side of life. I’ve been a part of that too long. What do I have left to offer you, Faith?”

Her mouth lifted in a smile of infinite feminine wisdom. The love that shone in her eyes was warmer than the sun. “I can live with what you are, with who you’ve been, but I don’t want to live without you, Shane. Offer me your heart, your love.”

“You already have them,” he whispered.

“Then there’s nothing else I’ll ever need.”

The sense of deliverance, of salvation was so strong, it brought tears to his eyes. The taste of it as he bent his head and settled his mouth softly against Faith’s was like nourishment to his starving soul, it was like wine to a man who’d been through a desert. He drank deeply and slowly, savoring every drop.

Faith reached up with her good hand to clutch at Shane’s broad shoulder. Relief swept the last of her strength away, and she leaned into him, knowing he would hold her, knowing he would never let her fall. His strong arm banding around her back proved her trust was warranted. Safe in his arms, safe in the knowledge that he was hers, she concentrated on their kiss, on the warm, wild taste of him and the tenderness of his possession.

When he lifted his head, she looked up at him and said, “I have something for you.”

Reaching into the pocket of her robe, she pulled out the ring Bryan had sent her and handed it to Shane. He examined it in the soft lamplight, his pulse skipping as he compared the intertwined golden hearts on the face of the ring with the delicate charm that rested against Faith’s creamy skin. He read aloud the inscription etched inside the gold band, his voice soft and smoky with emotion. “Two hearts, one destiny.”

“You can read Gaelic?” She sounded every bit as incredulous as she looked.

Shane merely blinked at her, as if to say “Can’t everyone?” She shook her head and stepped back into the circle of his arms, cuddling against him as best she could, considering her arm was in a sling.

“It figures,” she murmured with a soft, sweet smile.

And they held each other for a long time, neither one of them noticing the soft ker-thump that sounded in the hall as the bedroom door swung gently shut.