Robert Wilson - The Hidden Assassins

'That scares me, Javier,' said Calderon. 'I don't understand how the brain can be at the mercy of the mind. I don't understand how information, facts, things we've seen and heard can be so easily transformed, reordered and manipulated…by what? What is it? What is the mind?'

'Maybe it's not such a good idea to lie in a prison cell, torturing yourself with unanswerable questions,' said Falcon.

'There's nothing else to do,' said Calderon. 'I can't stop my brain from working. It asks me these questions.'

'Wish fulfilment is a powerful human need, on both a personal and a collective level.'

'I know, which is why I'm being so careful in examining myself,' said Calderon. 'I've started at the beginning and I've been admitting some difficult things.'

'I'm neither your confessor, nor your psychologist, Esteban.'

'But, apart from Ines, you are the person I have most wronged in my life.'

'You haven't wronged me, Esteban, and if you have I don't need to know.'

'But I need you to know.'

'I can't absolve you,' said Falcon. 'I'm not qualified for that.'

'I just need you to know the care with which I am conducting my self-examination.'

Falcon had to admit to himself that he was interested. He leaned back against the wall and shrugged. Calderon took some moments to prepare his words.

'I seduced Ines,' he said. 'I set out to seduce her, not because of her beauty, her intelligence or because of the woman she was. I set out to seduce her because of her relationship with you.'

'Me?'

'Not because of who you were, the son of the famous Francisco Falcon, which was what had made you interesting to Ines. It was more to do with…I don't know how to put this: your difference. You were not well liked in those days. Most people thought you cold and unapproachable, and therefore arrogant and patronizing. I saw something I didn't understand. So, the first way, the most natural way for me to understand you was to seduce your wife. What did this beautiful, muchadmired woman see in you, that I didn't have myself? That's why I seduced her. And the irony of it was, she gave me no insight at all. But before I knew it, it was no longer just an affair as I'd intended; we became an open secret. She was always way ahead of me in public relations. She could manipulate people and situations with consummate ease. So, we became the golden couple and you were the cuckold, who people enjoyed laughing about behind your back. And I admit it now, Javier, just so that you know what I'm like: I enjoyed that situation because, although I didn't understand you, which made me feel weak, I had inadvertently got one up on you, and that made me feel strong.'

'Are you sure you want to tell me this?' said Falcon.

'The next item isn't so personal to you,' said Calderon, batting him down with his hands, as if Falcon was thinking of leaving. 'It's important that you know me for the…I was going to say "man" but I'm not sure that's appropriate now. Remember Maddy Krugman?'

'I didn't like her,' said Falcon. 'I thought she was sinister.'

'She's probably the most beautiful woman I never went to bed with.'

'You didn't sleep with her?'

'She wasn't interested in me,' said Calderon. 'Beauty-I mean, great beauty-for a woman is both her good fortune and her greatest curse. Everybody is attracted to them. It's difficult for normal people to understand that pressure. Everybody wants to please a beautiful woman. They spark something in everybody, not just men; and because the pressure is so constant, they have no idea who has good intentions, who they should choose. Of course, they recognize the poor, slack-jawed fools who drool on to their lapels, but then there are the others, the hundreds and thousands with money, charm, brilliance and charisma. Maddy liked you because you brushed aside her beauty…'

'I don't think that was true. I was as much affected by her beauty as everybody else.'

'But you didn't let it affect your vision, Javier. And Maddy saw that and liked it. She was obsessed with you,' said Calderon. 'Of course, I had to have her. She teased me. She played with me. I amused her. That was about it. And the worst of it was that we had to talk about you. I couldn't bear it. I think you knew that it was eating me up inside.'

Falcon nodded.

'So when we got into that final and fatal scenario with Maddy and her husband…I had to lie about it afterwards,' said Calderon. 'I perjured myself, because I couldn't bear your fearlessness. I couldn't stand the poise with which you handled that situation.'

'I can tell you that I didn't feel fearless.'

'Then I couldn't stand the way you overcame your fear and I was left sitting on the sofa, paralysed,' said Calderon.

'I've been trained for those situations. I've been in them before,' said Falcon. 'Your reaction was completely natural and understandable.'

'But it was not how I saw myself,' said Calderon.

'Then your standards are very high,' said Falcon.

'Ines was marvellous to me after the Maddy Krugman affair,' said Calderon. 'You couldn't have wished for a better reaction from a fiancee. I'd humiliated her by announcing our engagement and on the same day, I think it was, I ran off with Maddy Krugman. And yet she stuck by me. She picked up the pieces of my career and self-esteem and…I hated her for it.

'I stored up all her kindnesses to me and mixed them with my own bitterness into a rancorous stew of deep resentment. I punished her by having affairs. I even fucked her best friend during a weekend at Ines's parents' finca. And I didn't stop at affairs. I refused to look for a house. I made her sell her own apartment, but I wouldn't let her buy the sort of house she desperately wanted. I wouldn't let her change my apartment to suit her. When I started hitting her-and that was only four days ago-it was just the physical expression of what I'd been doing to her mentally for years. What made it worse was, that the more I abused her, the tighter she clung to me. Now there's a story of denial for you, Javier. Ines was a great prosecutor. She could persuade anybody. And she persuaded herself, totally.'

'You should have left her.'

'It was too late by then,' said Calderon. 'We were already locked in our fatal embrace. We couldn't bear to be together, we couldn't wrench ourselves apart.'

The key rattled in the door. The guard put his head in.

'Comisario Elvira wants to see you in his office. He said it's urgent.'

Falcon stood. Calderon raised himself with effort, as if he was stiff or under a great weight.

'One last thing, Javier. I know it will seem incredible after what I've just told you,' said Calderon, 'and I'm quite prepared to face the punishment handed down to me for her murder, because I deserve it. But I need you to know that I did not kill her. You might have spoken to that Inspector Jefe from Madrid, and he might have told you that I gave a very confused account of what happened that night. I have been in a fairly wild state…'

'So who did kill her?'

'I don't know. I don't know what their motive could have possibly been. I don't know anything, other than that I did not kill Ines.' The Comisario was not alone in his office. His secretary nodded Falcon in. Pablo and Gregorio were there, along with the chief forensic pathologist. They all sat wherever they could except for the pathologist, who remained standing by the window. Elvira introduced him and asked him to give his report.

'The mosque is now empty of all rubble, detritus, clothes and body parts. We have conducted DNA testing on all body parts, fluids and blood that we've been able to find. That means we have tested every square centimetre of the available area in the mosque. We have all the results of these tests, except for the final two square metres closest to the entrance, which was the area containing the least DNA material and was the last batch to be sent off. We have been able to find matches to all DNA samples supplied by the families of all the men believed to have been in the mosque. We have also matched a DNA sample retrieved from the Imam's apartment with some in the mosque. However, we have been unable to match DNA samples taken from the Madrid apartment belonging to Djamal Hammad and Smail Saoudi with any found in the mosque. Our conclusion is that neither of those two men were in the mosque at the time of the explosion.'