Andy McNab - Recoil

And if Tim knew, so did Silky.

It looked like I'd have the opportunity to talk to her about it sooner rather than later. As I turned into the valley, there she was, hobbling round a mound a few metres in front of the bags of ANFO, nursing her foot, her face tight with anxiety. 'Tim! Where is he going?'

'What the fuck do you think you're doing? Get down!'

'Where's Tim going?'

'Get into cover!'

I grabbed hold of her and dragged her back between the ANFO and the mound. She tried to protect her leg, but her anguished face showed it wasn't happening.

'He's gone to get some gear. He won't be long.'

'To Nuka? Why didn't you stop him? Why didn't you go with him?' She couldn't disguise her horror as she stared in the direction of the river. 'They'll be here any minute! I heard Sam say so.'

'He's a grown man. I told him to stay here, but he wouldn't. His call. Everyone's responsible for their own actions.'

'Why didn't you go with him, protect him?'

'He knew I had to come back here and help with the defences, or none of us will get out alive.' I pointed in the direction of her Nuka contingent. 'Including that lot.'

'You know a lot about the jungle, don't you?'

'Now's not the time…' Now wasn't the time to talk about anything, even though I had some questions myself. I got up and looked past the ANFO for Crucial. 'Go back to Sam. I'll get someone up here to-'

'I'm not going, Nick. I want to know that Tim is safe. Besides, you need me to interpret, don't you?'

She could see the cogs turning in my head. 'You can waste your time arguing with me, or you can get back to whatever you were doing. I'll help. I want to stay alive too, believe me.'

She was right. Every second counted. I turned and offered my back once more. Then I grabbed my AK and we headed towards the first claymore.

Crucial was in the valley, screaming at the miners, getting them to surrender their tools. He wasn't going for the hearts-and-minds approach. A stream of them was snaking towards the dugout ahead of us, laden with picks, hammers, pots, pans, ladles, all sorts of shit.

We got to the claymore. 'OK, work for your ride. Tell them to start stacking the tools in the dugout. Tell them to pack them in tight, all the way up to the roof. And tell them not to touch the brown cord coming out of the mud.'

'Brown cord?'

'It's the detonation cord. Just tell them not to touch it, OK?'

She relayed my message. They still weren't happy bunnies.

'Tell them they'll get new ones later on. Right now, every bit of metal counts.'

We got down into cover. My head was tilted so I could see the dugout to my right. I didn't bother checking the time because it really didn't matter. It wouldn't matter until it was last light. All I could do was get these things rigged up as soon as possible.

She was just below me, by my feet, tucked well away. I was so tired I could hardly keep my eyes open.

I lifted my sleeve to check the boil-like bite on my forearm. It was pussed up, with a hard disc round the base the size of a 50p piece. I was dying to squeeze it, scratch it, do any fucking thing to it. It would make me feel better if I lanced it, but I knew that was a shortcut to infection. Better to keep the seal intact. I rubbed my face gently, pleased the lump hadn't become another pus-filled volcano, waiting to erupt.

I lay on my front with my arms folded in front of me as a chin rest, and watched things take shape.

Silky shouted directions as the guys arrived at the site; they couldn't wait to dump their metal and get back to the safety of the valley.

'Nick?'

'What?'

Her expression had changed. 'Tell me about the jungle. Tell me about the bomb you were making. Tell me about you. I think I have a right to know, don't you?'

I kept my eyes on the dugout. 'I was going to tell you in Lugano, but… Well, it never seemed the right time. Maybe I was scared you'd go off me.'

'One thing is certain in this very crazy world.' She smiled up at me. 'That will never happen.'

I told her what it was like being a kid in a London housing estate with a stepdad who slapped me and my mother about. I told her about getting arrested and put in Borstal, and joining the army at sixteen as a way out. Then getting into the SAS, and eventually working for the Firm. How it'd fucked me over time and again, until I'd finally binned it – only to let the Americans take over where the Brits had left off.

The words poured out of me like water from a hose that had just been unkinked. 'I did all the shit jobs no one in their right mind would take on in the first place, or no one was willing to take responsibility for if they went wrong.' I laughed at my own naivety. 'I was paid cash – I didn't even have a bank account, let alone a life.'

'Why let yourself be used like that, Nick?' Her expression told me she didn't understand. How could she? She'd always been lucky enough to see things through the correct end of the telescope.

I looked back at the dugout as more shit was packed into it. 'It was all I'd ever known, I guess.' I shrugged. 'It was the way things were – like the kids the other side of the river, waiting to be told to come and kill us. But finally – finally – I woke up and walked away.'

'To Australia?'

'Yes.' When I looked down, her eyes were welling.

'So we were both in Australia to run away?' She gave me a sad smile.

I slid down level with her.

'This mine…' A tear rolled down her cheek. 'These poor people living like this. It's because of Stefan.'

I put an arm round her shoulders. 'Tim told me.' At that moment I didn't care who the fuck owned what, where, or why. Being with her was all I cared about.

She grabbed a small lump of red rock from the ground, and examined it as though she'd picked up a lump of dog shit by mistake.

'I know what it is, Silky. I know what it's for.'

She let it drop to the ground. 'I've had a life of luxury because Stefan feeds off these people's nightmares… But coming here, not just sitting in an office and talking about it… I've realized I mustn't run away. I have run to something for a change… I have to stay here, Nick.'

'Do these guys know who you are?'

She shook her head. 'Only Tim. Even Stefan doesn't know where I am. He probably thinks I'm surfing in Bali, or at a spa.'

The miners were still dumping tools near the growing stockpile of ANFO for the second claymore. A few were even lugging oil drums, their bodies covered with mud and grime. Their lives were one long round of grit-filled rice and dragging lumps of rock out of the ground with their bare hands. And for what? So we all could enjoy the delights of 3G connectivity?

She knew all too well what I was thinking. 'Shitty, isn't it?'

Bursts of AK fire filled the air. They came from downstream, towards Nuka.

There was a third burst and a fourth. The miners screamed and shouted as they ran for cover. GPMGs rattled return fire into the treeline on the far side of the river.

Crucial barked a command and the guns fell silent. There was probably nothing to fire at, and every round counted.

Silky looked at me. 'Tim!'

I jumped up. 'Wait here! Bury yourself – don't move!'

I checked the other side of the valley and along the riverbank. I saw movement on the ground, maybe thirty metres upstream.

The body wasn't crawling. It seemed to be floundering on its back, like an upturned turtle.

'Can you see him, Nick? Is he OK?'

'Can't see anything. Just wait here, don't leave cover.' I grabbed my AK and ran at warp speed across the valley, my tired legs fuelled by adrenalin.

Crucial was up ahead, sprinting along the left side of the valley wall towards the entrance.