P Tracy - Play To Kill aka Shoot To Thrill

Crippled water buffalo? 'You've been watching the National Geographic Channel during Food Network commercial breaks, haven't you?'

'Scoff if you will, but this time I've got it nailed down. Go ahead. Try to poke a hole in it.'

'Some of the murder films were posted to different sites.'

Gino blew a raspberry. 'So what? The guy's a brainiac. He knows damn well the more he posts to one site, the more vulnerable he'll be to tracking. He's crossing all the t's.'

'Okay. Serial killers generally stick to the same MO because they get particular satisfaction from it. The method is important to them.'

'Wasn't important to the Railroad Killer.' Gino smiled, basking in the glory of his breakthrough. It wasn't often that he could point to a precedent to support his silly theories. 'Damn, I should drink Chianti more often when I'm trying to work this stuff out. It's like liquid muse.'

'There's a couple other possibilities.'

'Oh yeah? Dazzle me.'

'People post crap on the Web every day. Everybody wants their fifteen minutes. Why not murderers? Which means none of these killings are necessarily related.'

'Goddamnit, Leo, you're raining on my parade, 'cause that kind of makes sense. The Paris Hiltons of homicide.'

'On the other hand…'

You like the serial theory better.'

'No. I was thinking of something else. Remember the I-94 drownings? Forty-some, mostly college kids on a toot falling into whatever river was handy.'

Gino squirmed in his seat. You think you gotta remind me of that nightmare? We got the only one that finally went off the accidental list.'

'So you also remember the NYPD dicks spending their retirement investigating all those drownings…'

'Don't even bring that shit up, Leo.'

'Can't help it. Those cops, who probably know a lot of things the rest of us don't, made a pretty good case for a nationwide network of killers, instead of one.'

Gino folded his hands and rubbed his thumbs together. His grandfather had done that with an almost obsessive regularity, whenever he sat idle in the rocking chair that squeaked while he looked around at the progeny who had come for the annual awkward visit. You don't want to go there, Leo. I don't want to go there.'

'You're right about that. But we have to consider it. I asked Grace to take a look at the timeline on those murders the Feds pulled off the Web.'

'Excellent move. Unless any of them happened on the same day, my theory is still golden.'

'Then you better start praying your theory sucks. If this guy's a traveler, he's gone. If he's local, we've got a shot.'

'Yeah. There is that,' Gino sighed, watching out the window as the shiny city on the prairie deteriorated block by block.

The Tiara was in a crusty fringe neighborhood that clung to the hem of downtown's posh skirt, existing mostly below the radar, unless you were a hipster or a drag queen. For years, the city council had been trying to sanitize this river- adjacent chunk of turf with future revenue in mind, but for some reason the gentrification spitballs never quite stuck.

'Look at this shit-box neighborhood, Leo. When I was a kid we used to walk this street on the way to the Saturday- night horror flicks at the Majestic. Worst thing you ever saw was winos drinking Mad Dog in doorways. Now look at it. You can practically spit to the Mississippi from here, and what do you have? Chop shops, heroin balloons, busted streetlights… If the city council had half a brain between the bunch of them, they'd steamroll this place and put up about fifty Starbucks.'

Magozzi turned onto a dark, sketchy backstreet that terminated at the club. 'Then you'd have fifty Starbucks filled with drug dealers doing business over double mocha lattes.'

'Ain't that the truth.' He squinted out the window against the glare of a flashing neon crown that lit up an old, brick building. A colorful parade of characters dressed in elaborate costumes and gowns were lined up on the street, waiting to get in. 'Are you sure these are all men?'

Magozzi shrugged. 'I don't know. I guess. What difference does it make?'

'Because if that she in the green dress is actually a he, then you could have fooled me and I'm not sure how I feel about that.'

'It's theater, Gino. Try to stay focused.'

'Yeah, right. I'm kinda out of my element here. Let's hit a side door. I don't want to walk that gauntlet. We're already getting weird looks and we haven't even gotten out of the car yet.'

On the north side of the building, they found a bent-up metal fire door manned by a monolith of a security guard whose day job was probably chewing glass at carnival sideshows. 'Out front, like everybody else!' he barked at them.

Gino was quick to pull out his badge and shove it toward the man's face. 'MPD Homicide, pal.'

The bouncer looked skeptical until his eyes landed on Gino's holster. 'Oh.' He pulled open the door for them and a throbbing wall of high-decibel dance music blasted them like a sirocco.

'Hang on,' Magozzi said, gesturing for him to close the door, then pulling out the photo of their river body that Grace had printed out. You ever see this guy here?'

He took the photo, examined it for a second, then his eyes got huge. 'Jesus. He's dead.'

'Hence, the homicide part of our introduction,' Gino grumbled.

'Hell, I'm only here two nights a week, and I see about a thousand faces each time.'

'He was wearing a wedding dress.'

The bouncer shook his head. 'Working a place like this, you just stop noticing the craziness after a while. You should talk to one of the bartenders. Or better yet, talk to Camilla – she runs this place, she's always here, and she knows everybody. Go inside and head up the back staircase. Her office is at the end of the hall. God. I can't believe you showed me a picture of a dead guy.'

The inside of the Tiara was sheer mayhem. Hundreds of people swarmed on an enormous dance floor in a riot of color, feathers, and sequins. Lights strobed in time to the screaming sound system. Magozzi and Gino didn't even try to talk – they just shoved their way through the crowd toward the staircase, badges clearing a path for them.

It was no small blessing that Camilla's office was soundproofed. You could still hear the din of the music, and the throbbing of the bass was turning Magozzi's guts to Cream of Wheat, but conversation was possible without shouting.

Camilla looked like . a she – a really pretty she, in a demure, well-cut skirt suit – but the booming voice told another story. 'Homicide?' His/her hands fluttered at his/her throat like distressed moths. 'Good grief, Detectives, tell me what's happened.' She gestured to two empty chairs that flanked her desk. 'Please, please, do sit.'

Magozzi pulled out the photo again and slid it toward Camilla. 'Do you recognize this man?'

Camilla answered the question with a deluge of tears, and there was no question that the grief was genuine, and not just manufactured melodrama. 'That's Sweet Cheeks,' she finally choked out. 'Oh my God… she was just here last night… oh God, what happened'

Gino had a good heart and a fairly open mind, but a man in a wedding dress carrying around a handle like Sweet Cheeks messed with his head. He squirmed a little in his chair, trying to pick a pronoun. It was hopeless. 'The body was found in the river this morning. We believe it was homicide.' This brought on another round of tears, which made him feel bad for not saying right up front what he was supposed to say, what he always said and always meant. 'We're very sorry for your loss. You two were obviously close.'

Camilla nodded, blotting at her eyes with a tissue. 'Thank you. We were very close,' she sniffed. 'Not in the way you're probably thinking, of course, not as partners. We were just dear friends.'