Andrew Vachss - The Weight

He tapped the side of his head.

“Not like you think. I mean, you can tell she’s got this Down-syndrome thing just by looking at her. And the way she talks. But she’s smart as hell.”

The food came. We ate like two guys sitting across a mess hall table. Two guys who didn’t like each other. Kept our eyes down-to watch the other guy’s hands.

“How does this Grace fit into what you’re telling me?”

“She’s got a key to Solly’s place. I do, too. I thought we were the only ones. Now I’m not so sure.”

“What difference would that make?”

“Right after I got out, I went over there. Solly introduced me to the doorman. The parking lot guy, too. Said I was his nephew. Jerome. Anyway, while I’m sitting there, going over the job-you know the one I’m talking about-this Grace walks in.

“She calls him ‘Uncle Solly.’ Turns out she’s the daughter of… one of us. He’s dead. Been gone a long time. Solly tells the building people that she’s his maid. Comes in once a week to clean. And he pays her for it, too. Five hundred a week.”

“Money he was holding from-”

“Nah. He’s just doing the right thing. See, that’s what we-all of us, I mean-that’s what we’d expect him to do. Solly’s not the boss, he’s more like the… like I said, the man who takes care of things. Even people, he takes care of.”

“All right,” he said, making a little move with his fork, like he was pulling me over to him.

“Okay, here’s what happened,” I told him. “I’m there with Solly. Grace walks in. She sees he’s busy, so she goes into one of the bedrooms.

“Solly, he’s telling me there’s going to be a little wait for me to get my money. From the jewelry-store job. He sees I don’t like hearing that-he’s had five years to get my money in a good safe place. But he tells me he’s got me all set up: bank account, a car, even a place to stay. So it sounds pretty good.

“Now, Solly’s an old man. Grace is a very sweet girl. She worries about him. So the fridge is always full of stuff that’s good for him. Juices and that. Solly, he has to use the bathroom a lot. Especially when he’s drinking a lot of juice, and he always does that when Grace comes over, he says.

“So Solly’s in the bathroom, and I get up. Just to move around, not get cramped. I walk past Grace. She’s got her nose in a book. Then I remember Solly telling me that she’s not really a maid; he just tells the building managers she is, so they don’t expect him to use their own people.

“Remember, I’m a thief. A good one. I can tell when a place has people living in it or not. That place, Solly probably only used it for a front-it wasn’t just clean, it was like nobody ever sat on the furniture.

“His book was taped to the back of the night stand in one of the bedrooms. It looked like one of those old-fashioned address books. Kind of thick, with rings all along the binder.

“I took the book. I don’t know why, but something told me to grab it, and I did. Just slipped it into my coat. Solly never suspected a thing.

“But by now, he knows. And he knows I know, too.”

“And you believe yourself to be in danger because the book ties him to…?”

“I’m not sure what it ties him to. But I know what it means when there’s a black ‘X’ over someone’s name.”

“Something that the statute of limitations would never run out on.”

“Yeah. But that part wouldn’t have made me worried, unless I was in Solly’s ledger-if he even has one-and I was already X’ed out.”

“Why would Solly want you… eliminated?”

“ ’Cause he’s fucking insane. You’ll see. That’s what Solly’s been doing all these years. Putting out hits on people he worked with. Like he’s cleaning up behind himself.

“Maybe he’s gone paranoid, I don’t know. But by now, he’s got to know I’ve got his book. With the money he’s got, he could hire the best. So I’m a dead man unless I can get out of here. Disappear. Start over.”

“We can certainly take care of that.”

“Putting Solly in jail won’t make me safe.”

“I understand.”

“And I’m not going in any Witness Protection bullshit.”

“Fair enough. Now, when do I get this book?”

“When you make a promise.”

“I already said we’d be able to-”

“Not that. Before you visited me in prison, you spoke to the cops, right? Detective Tom Woods?”

“That’s right. Among others.”

“And they told you, flat out, that they knew I never raped that girl?”

“Of course. Why else would I have-?”

“Yeah. Okay, here’s the promise I want. You go and see the girl, and you tell her the truth.”

“The girl who was-?”

“Yeah. Her. Get Woods to go with you, if you can. But all that really counts is that she knows it wasn’t me.”

He closed his eyes for a few seconds, so I couldn’t see the battle going on in there.

Then he let out a little breath, like he’d made a decision.

“I can’t do that,” he said. Flat, not bargaining.

“What? Why the hell not? It’s the truth.”

“It is. And where would that leave her ?”

“Huh?”

The gray fog around him went from pale to almost black, bright streaks flashing, like lightning at night. “I’ll tell you where I’m going, Caine.” Even his voice was different. Not… neutral anymore. “This is all about you, isn’t it? Your ‘rep.’ You ever know a woman who’s been raped?”

“I… I guess I don’t know. Nobody ever said that to me, anyway.”

“I have. And you want me to tell this woman, ‘The man who raped you never went to prison at all. The man you’ve got a Permanent Order of Protection against, he’s not the man who raped you.’ ”

“You mean, she wouldn’t want to think she sent an innocent man to prison?”

“You don’t feel anything outside yourself, do you, Caine?”

“Me?”

“If you can’t understand why it would terrify her if I told her that story, you’re either a miserable reptile or as dumb as a rock.”

His words were like a blast of wind, blowing me back against a wall. I couldn’t move.

“So let me spell it out for you,” he said, like a bucket of ice cubes tumbling out. “It’s easy enough to explain to her that you weren’t any kind of innocent man-you should have been in prison, only for a different crime. But if she hears that story you want me to tell, she’ll think the man who raped her is still out there.”

“Christ!” I said, thinking, You fucking moron. Lynda even told you that!

“Oh, it gets worse, believe me. She thought it was over. And now you want me to go and tell her the man who did that to her, not only is he on the loose, but the man she put in prison is out now. And that man has a long history of violence. You think she’d ever be able to sleep through the night again? Nah, you don’t give a fuck. You know what, Caine? You can just keep your little book.”

He pushed his plate away from him, like he was getting up to leave.

“Wait,” I said.

He looked at me.

“Please.”

He just kept looking at me.

“I’m not what you think. It’s not that I don’t give a damn. And it’s not that I’m stupid, either. And I can prove it to you. Right now.”

He just sat there.

I could hear that cop, Woods. In my head, like a message. “Or maybe he’s already doing time on one of the others .” So I told the dark cloud: “What if you told her the man who really raped her is still in prison? Never coming out. All you need is a rape-o who was on the street when it… happened. One of those pieces of shit who rape for fun. And now he’s behind bars forever, ’cause he got dropped for a bunch of other ones.”