Andrew Vachss - The Weight

She was quiet for a second. When she opened her mouth, I could see a drop of blood on her lower lip. She must have bit down real hard.

“What if they’re already there, Sugar? At the house. Waiting.”

“You said they always come at night, right? We’ve still got plenty of daylight left.”

“Not that much. And what if-?”

“If they’re waiting, then I’m the one they grab. But so what? I’ll have what Albie left you. I’ll tell them you paid me to sneak in and put it back.

“Whether they’ll buy it, who knows? But they’ll know I didn’t write that note. The way I’ve got it worked out, no way you come into it. Ever.”

“It’d never work.”

“It’d work perfect . They’d pound on me, just to make sure they got all the juice out of the orange. When I’ve taken enough to convince them, I’ll tell them the whole truth.”

“The… what?”

“The truth. Solly sent me. To get Albie’s book. And I did that. They’ll see that for themselves. Solly told me to get that book no matter what I had to do.

“Get it? Me, I had to hurt you pretty bad to make you talk. Solly was on the phone all the time I was doing it-he could hear everything. When you finally told me where to find Albie’s book, Solly told me, make sure I don’t leave anything behind.

“So I killed you. Then I ran out and mailed Albie’s book to Solly. Only reason I went back in was to wipe the place down, make sure there wasn’t anything there that could trace back to me. That’s why I had the prayer bag on me. Only, Albie’s note, it’s going to be inside the bag, get it?”

“That is where it was.”

“It doesn’t matter. They’re never going to think a thug like me would open that bag. I’m just a guy Solly hired. Hired to get the book , see? That’s why I’d have to let them work on me for a while, because telling them who paid me, that’d be like ratting him out.”

“Why would you care? About Solly, I mean.”

“I don’t. But you don’t rat. That’s the rules.”

“The what?”

“Never mind. It’s too… complicated to explain now. But those men, they’d understand.”

“They’d kill you, Sugar.”

“They might. But they wouldn’t have to. There’s no reason for them not to believe my story. How else would I know about Solly? Or Albie? Or the book?”

“They’d still-”

“Maybe not. Maybe they wouldn’t want to make a mess, I don’t know. But that’s all downside. If I can get in there and leave Albie’s stuff without being caught, now that’s a message they’d get for sure.”

“Which is…?”

“ You found the note. And you left it for them. They’d know Albie’s handwriting. They’d think you did what the note said to do. Albie made sure they’d know there’s no reason to hunt you now-they’d already have everything there was to get. Why be mad at you? You played it square all the way. You didn’t have to leave anything for them, but you did.”

“I don’t like-”

“It’s not for you to say.”

“Why? Because you’re the man.”

“Because you’ve got all your… feelings in this, and I don’t. Right or wrong, those men, they’d know Albie wouldn’t just leave his prayer stuff behind.”

“Of course he wouldn’t! I… oh!”

“So, if I don’t put it back, and if they can’t find it, they’ll know you have it. They wouldn’t care about that-what they’d want is that little blue book. With Solly telling them his story, they’d go right for that partners desk. They find it empty, they have to find you , understand?”

She lit another smoke. I hadn’t even noticed her finishing the first one.

“Which means they’d be looking for you, too.”

“If that’s what you believe, if you think I’m going back in there to cover myself, don’t say another word. I’ll go back and tell Solly I had to take you out, too. That’ll make him feel safe, back in control. Albie’s gone, and he’s holding both books. He never knows about the note. So, soon as he has Albie’s book, he contacts those hard men himself.

“He can tell them any story he wants. Long as he’s got both little blue books, he’s golden. He’d have to admit he sent me down for the book, sure. But that just proves you’re in the ground, so you’ll never be talking, see?”

“I hate you.”

I felt like smacking her. “You fucking must , you think I’d be going back in that damn house to cover my own ass, bitch.”

“Sugar, can’t you see what I’m really afraid of? Believe me, if those men got their hands on you, all those big muscles wouldn’t mean a thing.”

“Only one way to find out.”

“Sure. And if you guess wrong…”

“No. I mean, find out if you want to be with me, Lynda. ’Cause if you do, you got nothing to say about anything I ever do to keep you safe.”

“That’s why you killed Jessop? You thought he might-”

“No. I killed him for me, Lynda. Not for you.”

“For you? You didn’t even know him.”

“I know what he did. And I know who he did it to.”

“You mean, selling me to Albie? That was the best thing anyone ever-”

“And Jessop, he fucking knew that, huh?”

She was either going to have another smoke or start crying, I thought. But she just turned and looked at me.

“I was glad you did it, Sugar.”

“We can’t keep sitting here, girl. There isn’t much daylight left.”

I knew Lynda had cut all the alarms off before we left the last time, so I just jammed the pry bar under the window as deep as I could, then I jacked it up, slow and strong, like I had with the arm-wrestler. The locks popped and the window went up.

I went in without the gun. If the men Lynda was afraid of were already there, no gun was going to help me. But if cops ended up in the picture, a gun would cook me.

I get pinched, I’d say the owner hired me to break in because there was valuable stuff inside and he wanted to run an insurance scam. It would be pretty lame, since I’d be describing a guy I never met-Lynda didn’t know what name was on the deed to the place. Better than nothing. Not much better, but… something, anyway.

I didn’t prowl. If they were already waiting, I wanted to make sure they could hear me.

The place was empty. Or, if it wasn’t, I couldn’t tell.

Were they already there? Waiting to see what I’d do before they did whatever they wanted to do?

So many rooms in that house. So many places they could be.

I could feel it getting darker, like the sun was dropping inside the house.

The rule is that you never work scared-if the job’s too risky for you, pass.

I tried, but I couldn’t seal my mind off from those hard men.

I knew exactly where I was going, so I moved fast. That’d fit my story, too.

The house was so big that I knew it had rooms I’d never seen. If they were coming for me, I’d never hear them. Even the shadows were full of… I don’t know what.

I left Albie’s prayer bag on top of the partners desk. Propped the note he’d left for… for Rena, I guess, up against it.

The hard men wouldn’t expect the little blue book, not with what that note said. They’d know Solly had Albie’s book.

And soon enough he would.

I ran back to the window like somebody was chasing me.

When I got back to the car, Lynda wasn’t there. And it was already dark. I was still trying to decide what to do when she came out of the bushes, holding that pistol.